In honor of the final week of the NFL regular season, I'm doing an old-school picks column. With words and everything.
First some business to take care of...
Week 15 I went 8 - 8.
Week 16 I went 7 - 9. (ouch)
That puts my season record going into the final week: 140 - 99 - 1. (FUCK-ing TIE)
Here we go...
St. Louis @ Atlanta
PICK: Alright... so first, how bout a nice hand for Matt Ryan. Locked up the Rookie of the Year by week 6 or something. Good for him. Second, I have to admit, that while I do bow down to E-Pizzy's College Football Personnel knowledge, I love it when he's wrong about someone. FALCONS
New England @ Buffalo
PICK: I know it's been said over and over, but doesn't this season with Matt-effing-Cassel show how great a coach Big Bill is? I mean... how can people question it at this point. They have a good shot to go 11 - 5 without Brady. Unbelievable. Oh...and also... PATS
Kansas City @ Cincinnati
PICK: What infuriates me most about the Bengals is that they're doing exactly what they did in the hey-dey of the Coslet-LeBeau Era. Stink and Stink and Stink and then "rise" to beat a couple of bad teams at the end. Fuck that. Fire Marvin. BENGALS
Detroit @ Green Bay
PICK: Prediction inside a prediction... If the Lions lose, the Jim Rome show on Monday morning will be one of the funniest shows in the history of radio.... So I'd get your recorders ready. PACKERS
Tennessee @ Indianapolis
PICK: My uncle Tim thinks the Colts are the team to beat in the AFC. I'm actually inclined to begrudgingly agree, though I do think the Steelers are better. I just have a feeling the Titans are one of the weakest 13-2 teams, offensively, I've ever seen and the Colts offense is one of the few that can score against the Titans. So... COLTS
New York Giants @ Minnesota
PICK: So... I haven't really checked, but I am pretty sure the Vikings have befuddled me as much or more than any other team this year, so while I'm inclined to pick the Giants in this game... I'm gonna go with the VIKES.
Carolina @ New Orleans
PICK: Dan Marino was one of my favorite players when I was younger. Maybe just because his name was Dan, as I can't really figure any other reason why I'd like him. I remember watching Bengals games and looking forward to the halftime highlights of him and Mark Duper. In any case, if there's anyone I'd like to see break his single season yards mark, it's Drew Brees. Too bad it would be in a mediocre/disappointing season. PANTHERS
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh
PICK: Pittsburgh, sadly, is my pick for the Super Bowl in the AFC. Not that they really need to try too much in this game. Of course, they don't need to try too much to win this game either. STEELERS
Oakland @ Tampa Bay
PICK: I'm impressed with the spunk of the Raiders, but the Bucs are going to be playing for a playoff spot. Going with the Pirates of Tampa here. BUCS
Chicago @ Houston
PICK: Well.. The Texans have been a pretty solid home team this year, and they''ll be fighting to get to .500. I have to admit, I'm kind of a closet Texans fan, ever since they took Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. So... TEXANS
Washington @ San Francisco
PICK: I can't get a handle on either of these teams. Seriously. They confuse the shit out of me. So I'm bringing back the coin flip... actually.. no. Wait. The Redskins LOST to the BENGALS. I'm clearly taking the NINERS.
Jacksonville @ Baltimore
PICK: Man... How pissed must the Jags fans be about this season? They thought there was all this hope and they have downright stunk for parts. I mean... they LOST to the BENGALS. The Ravens, on the other hand, have handled the Bengals twice. RAVENS.
Miami @ New York Jets
PICK: I'm making this pick strictly on how delicious payback can be. I used to love Brett Favre, but he's such a douche, I can't support him anymore. I used to respect the Jets as somewhat lovable losers who didn't factor enough for me to care. Then they picked up the aforementioned douche and dropped the oft-injured, but always good when healthy Chad Pennington. I liked him. DOLPHINS
Dallas @ Philly
PICK: Two of the most up and down teams of the season. Both have looked great and both have looked terrible at different times. I'm going with the Homies though, and picking EAGLES.
Seattle @ Arizona
PICK: Have the Cardinals become the most apathetic division winners in history. They start off so, so strong, and have sort of won a war of attrition with the rest of their crappy-ass division. I can't imagine that the Seahawks, who should have been better but for some injuries won't be bringing the pride to this one. SEAHAWKS.
Denver @ San Diego
PICK: What's wrong with the Western divisions? They're ridiculous. Neither team is any good, but I'd probably go with the Broncos in this one, just because I can't forgive the Chargers for getting rid of Brees for the overrated Phil Rivers. BRONCOS.
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