There are very few people I know who love Disney as much as
I do. My friend Annie is one of them. She’s been there many times, and puts a
lot of thought into her visits.
She’s often expressed interest in my Disney-themed blogs over the years, so in
an effort to bring more variety to my blog posts, I’ve asked her to
occasionally discuss various topics via email… The products of those
discussions will be posted here.
For the first one, I asked her simply to name her Top 10
Rides/Attractions at Disney World. Here’s our unedited (except for typos) exchange:
********
ANNIE:
Well hello there, Dan! Look at me! I'm actually doing this! After literally
years of talking about it. Amazing. Anyway, without further ado, my top ten
rides at Walt Disney World.
My number one is easy: Splash Mountain.
This is always my answer to the age-old
"If you only had time for ONE ride..." question. It has everything.
Thrills? Check. Cute Disney characters singing? Check. Impressive audio
animatronics? Checkity check. Granted the queue is pretty heinous in crowded
mid-July and it can be amazingly stressful when the woman in front of you lets
her toddler stand up for the entire ride, but the ride itself? Pure Disney
perfection.
Two is Expedition Everest.
The backwards drop is so freaking cool. It's rare
now but I loved when it was first built and people honestly did not know what
was going on when we pulled up to that mangled
track. I'm sure they didn't think a yeti had destroyed it, but when's the last
time you went on a roller coaster and were surprised by anything? I actually
screamed, "AHH THE YETI" the first time I rode when they light him up
near the end. It's a damn cool ride.
Three? Space Mountain.
Nuff said.
Four is Spaceship Earth.
It would've ranked higher before the recent changes.
Would it be that difficult to allow riders to select which audio they want? But
I digress. This ride can also be made stressful by idiot teenagers who climb
around the cars during the backwards descent. Am I the only one who notices these
things? And never, ever forgets them? And DO NOT call it a golf ball. I am not
responsible for my actions if someone calls it a golf ball.
Five is the TOWER OF TERROR!
I never really realized until just then what a
sweet name that really is. Anyway. Another example of many Disney fans' reason
for loving the rides so much. It's not just a drop
ride--go up, come down--like every other theme park builds. It's got a story
and it is SO COOL. When your elevator car goes forward into the Twilight Zone?
Amazing.
Six is Pirates of the Caribbean.
Iconic, classic, fun. Although, I once read a
probably-not-true story about how the cast member in the bridge above the drop
can forget to press a button that will make the
boat behind you land on top of your boat. I assume there would be scalping. I
always imagine scalping. I cannot get this out of my head, so I find myself
unreasonably stressed during that part of the ride. (Wow, I didn't expect this
list to illustrate how neurotic I truly am.) Would've scored higher without all
the changes. I understand including Jack, though. I just don't love it.
Seven is It's A Small World.
I know, I know. But I love Mary Blair. I love the
cheesy hippie dippy message. I could be wrong, but I think they haven't added
the character dolls to the Disney World ride. I saw the new version in
Disneyland and I'm not really a huge fan. I love when they Blair-ize the
characters, but they felt out of place. I hope, in vain, that they leave the
WDW attraction alone. (ramblerambleramble) Only downside is when you're stuck
in a mass of boats for 12 years at the end of every ride. Also a favorite ride
for Mothers who like to let their toddlers stand up and stress me out.
Eight is Soarin'.
Every time I remind myself not to look down. And then
promptly look down.
Nine is Ye Olde Rock n Roller Coaster.
And ten, and it's so wrong but so right, is the Many Adventures of Winnie the
Pooh.
No offense to ole Snowy, but some of the Fantasyland dark rides are
barely worth any wait above 20 minutes. I like this one. I like when the rain rain rain comes down down down and it feels like
we're floating along. I like the Heffalumps (Woozles...meh). I like the book
pages throughout. I just think it's really well done even for such a simple concept.
And there you have it. Now tear it to shreds! Let me guess your
list... "1. Spaceship Earth 2. Soarin' 3. Everest....."
Alright! This is gonna be fun. So, first... an
interesting list. I think I could have predicted at least 7 of your 10. Maybe
not in order... I dunno... It's hard to say you're wrong about any of
them (except I can't see putting Winnie the Pooh in any Top Ten, and my
feelings about It's a Small World are well chronicled, though I at least
understand the historical significance of that one.. I'll discuss more of your
choices after my list..
Also, I'm not as tormented as you are by children standing up on the ride
vehicles. Part of me really wants to see one of them fall out of the People
Mover, or whatever, so it doesn't bother me. I've found my enjoyment of some of
the attractions diminished, though, by the jackasses who take flash pictures
and the other ones who don't go all the way down the row. These things make me
far more angry, and they definitely alter my rankings. Little Mermaid is pretty
fun until you get stuck on the edge because some family acting as though the
rules don't apply to them decided to stop in the middle. I pride myself on my
crowd estimating, and know exactly where to stand to get a good seat. All my
planning is ruined when they stop in the middle.
Anyway, lets do this, and then we can hash it out. And you guessed 3 of my
top 10 in your last sentence, but not the order..
Number 1: Soarin'
It's the same deal for me with the whole "if you could only ride one
thing". I thought not as much about what ride I would choose,
but what ride I'd be most bummed I'd skipped. I think that makes
sense...right? Anyway, I really think that Soarin' is everything a Disney
ride should be... It's technically superior to everything else like it in the
world. Every motion simulator TRIES to be this good and fails. It's just an
incredible feat of engineering. It has thrills, but not the kind you get at
King's Island, which are cheap. Any ride can drop you or whatever, but Soarin'
is exciting when you're not really even moving at all, and I like that it
avoids terror and is more a mellow thrill... if that makes sense. I also love
the smells. I know it's weird, but literally whenever I smell oranges, I think
of Soarin'. That's a weird thing to try to explain to someone.
Number 2: Pirates of the Caribbean
I can go either way on the additions of Jack, Barbosa and the rest, but really
it's a real classic of Disney creativity. It's a legendary dark ride. It's so
weird too... Every time I ride it I see something new. Like... You know how you
go through that room where the pirates are chasing the women, and the one woman
with the rolling pin is chasing the pirate? I never noticed until this past
trip that their legs actually move! I always just thought they were gliding
around, and maybe they are, but the legs are definitely churning away. How
freakin' awesome is that? I've ridden the thing 30+ times and I'm still
experiencing it differently. That's cool.
Number 3: Expedition Everest:
Waaaay back in the Spring of 09 I wrote a blog called "Disney World for
Aliens" where I decided what 5 attractions I would recommend to
aliens if they were ever to visit and ask "Explain what makes Disney World
great in 5 Attractions". Everest was my #1 thing. It wasn't saying that it
was my favorite ride, just what attraction was the most Disney. It scored one
of the two perfect 10 scores. I think I still agree... First, it's another one
of those technical marvels. You have backward and forward movement, tracks that
literally flip around, and enormous animatronic things. Next, the theming is
right up there as one of the most intricate in the whole of the Disney Empire.
Third, it has this visual impact that beats just about every ride in the place
aside from Spaceship Earth. You walk in and that mountain just TOWERS over to
the right. It's amazing to look at. Add to that the totally exciting ride
itself, and it's a top 3 attraction any day. It still makes me feel really
gross afterward though. Have I mentioned I'm not a roller coaster fan?
Number 4: The Haunted Mansion
I've come to love this ride more and more as time goes by. It's funny; it's
another excellent example of theming. It's the ride I'd most want to work on if
I were a cast member (Not the job I'd most want, but if I were to be a ride
character). I've been known to listen to the full narration of the ride (By
Thurl Ravenscroft...greatest name ever!) in my car. I tried to record it on
video this past visit, but I failed miserably. I really like the updates they
made to it over the past 5 years, and the new queue is a lot of fun. You'd
mentioned the narration on Spaceship Earth, and I think this one is even more indispensable.
Thurl died in 2005, and there's really no way to get anyone to come close to
being as snarky and creepy and funny at the same time. None.
Number 5: Mickey's Philharmagic
You know... I'm a softie, and this attraction pushes all of my
nostalgia buttons. I just found out that they didn't record any new Donald
voice stuff for any of the ride, but simply took old recordings of him and
pieced it together. Anyway, there are a few great scenes, each re-done with
pretty excellent 3D.. Especially, if I do say so, the Peter Pan scene where you
fly around Big Ben.
Number 6: Spaceship Earth
You're right... it's not as good as it once was with the old Jeremy Irons
narration. That was epic. There was nothing better than cresting at the top of
the dome and hearing "Or will we use this power to usher in a new age of
understanding and cooperation on this, our SPACESHIP EARTH." That was a
magical moment... I'm not sure, though that it would beat out any of the other
5 for me anyway. And there are still some awesome things. As a Hidden Mickey fan,
S.E. is a treasure trove of them. It's also infinitely entertaining to 1) make
funny faces into the new cameras that put your head into the animations at the
end. 2) Select a random language so you have no idea what you're choosing in
the interactive portion. That shit his hilarious. I'll never forget selecting
French and watching our funny faces marching around with French narration as we
boarded our sea cars. It loses points by getting rid of Irons, but I love a lot
of the new additions. So... it evens out for me, mostly.
Number 7: Tower of Terror!
I hadn't ridden this ride since 1994 before my visit in 2009. Let's be clear
about something... I was a great big pussy for a long time. This ride fucking
TERRIFIED me (fittingly, I suppose). The TM convinced me to ride it again after
all that time, and i came to realize... holy crap is that fun! I've talked a
lot about the theming previously, and sure enough... it's awesome. What I never
realized was how much fun it was to be the heavy end of a yoyo. They've changed
the ride mechanism like... five times since I rode it the year it opened, when
they pretty much just dropped you once and that was it. Now it's totally
random, and it drops you like 5 times. And almost bounces. It's crazy fun.
Number 8: Splash Mountain
You're totally right about everything you said about Splash Mountain. It's
definitely the best incorporation of characters into a ride. It's gotta be the
longest actual RIDE ride anywhere. The music will get right in your head
("Pretty good sureasyourborn") and while the drops are scary, they're
not so scary that I dread them at this point. I used to, though... In fact, I
remember years where I'd watch the people plummet (and there's no other word
for it), and I'd straight up talk myself out of it. Not anymore. It's really,
really fun. The only reason it doesn't make it into the top 5 is that I really
dislike walking around with wet shoes. Trust me when I say... If you ride
it once and make it off without getting soaked. STOP RIDING. The gods do not
appreciate you tempting fate by riding a second time. Every time I've done it,
I've paid the price with soaking wet shoes. I can't abide wet shoes, so the
ranking drops just on the outside chance of shoe wetness.
Number 9: Star Tours
Never, in a million years, would I have predicted that Star Tours would crack
my top ten even a year ago. It was shaky and nauseating and definitely
outdated. A cool (and I believe the first) motion simulator that had seen
better days. Not anymore. They've worked out every mechanical kink, so the
movement is now smooth as silk, and the motion seems really, really real. Oh...
and they've changed the plot. To FIFTY FOUR variations. The plot comes in these
episodic pieces that they puzzle together to create a larger adventure, and
each experience is different. Officially, it would take 6 hours of non-stop
riding to experience all of the options. What better way to keep the thing
fresh? It also has you fighting Darth Vader, and that's pretty cool.
Number 10: Finding Nemo: The Musical
It's easy to forget about this show, but if you're going to the Animal Kingdom,
you HAVE to see it. It's so well performed, and the music is so catchy and
clever (Written by the people who wrote Avenue Q). It also manages to pack
in a really good proximity of the full Finding Nemo story in a little over 40
minutes. The tech is awesome. The puppetry is really inventive (I would LOVE to
play Bruce the Shark), and the singing is, overall very well executed. After
the TM and I saw it in 09, we liked it so much that she bought me the
soundtrack, which lived in slot #5 in my car CD player for the next 2 years.
This is easily the best show in all the parks, and one of my favorite things at
Disney.
Honorable Mentions: Peter Pan, Kilimanjaro Safari, People Mover, Carousel of
Progress,
So... it seems we have a lot of overlap (Splash Mtn, Everest, Tower of Terror,
Pirates, Soarin, Spaceship Earth). I mentioned above your questionable
inclusion of Winnie the Pooh, so I won't belabor it, even though I
could say that I think it's inferior to Peter Pan in every way,
except for the duration. I'd like for you to explain your inclusions
of Space Mountain, which is, in my opinion a little boring, always has way too
long a line, and is kind of painful to ride.... and Rock n Roller Coaster,
which to me is the most non-Disney of all of the major attractions, even though
it's really fun.
What were your "Close but no cigar" choices? I'm surprised that
neither of us had Journey into Imagination, even though it's widely considered
terrible. I'm also surprised there was no Toy Story Mania... Just for the
newness. Strangely neither made my top 15. What about Kali River Rapids?
This is fun.
Go!
My sick obsession with reading about theme park accidents is
why I stress so much about it. The People Mover has killed before! The vehicles
really do not care if you are stuck underneath them, it seems. Shudder.
I commented that some evergreen smelling thing reminded me
of Soarin' recently. You are not alone. I'd also like to add that Soarin' is really
cool to experience as a group with other riders. I've always been surrounded by
people ooh-ing and ahh-ing. (I always do single rider for this one, who cares
who you're sitting next to?)
We, too, have the Haunted Mansion CD with Thurl. He was Tony the Tiger! And
sang "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch!" He was actually a bonus answer
at my trivia one night. (No one got it.)
I almost added Philharmagic. It was number 11. I have yet to get through the
damn thing without crying though. (There go those neuroses again)
I like the new things at the end of Spaceship Earth, too. Although I made the
mistake of opening my mouth for the picture so I ended up with a see-through mouth.
The first time I rode Tower of Terror I had to be helped off of it because my
legs were totally jellified. And I could not wait to ride it again. Disney has
a way of making things just scary enough without being too much (Mission: SPACE
excluded). I am not a ride person at all anywhere else. If it doesn't make me
puke, then I'll surely get a headache. At Disney, I know I can safely ride
anything without risk of day ruination.
Also on Splash Mountain, if you've made it down the drop without getting wet,
don't get too comfortable. That elephant sees me coming every time.
I cannot--CANNOT--wait to see the new Star Tours. Why must
you taunt
me by speaking of it's awesomeness?
OMFG WITH THE NEMO MUSICAL! I still cannot believe I let you make me sit
through that garbage. The puppets are really cool. Other than that? Total waste
of everything. The lyrics are written by a five year old! "I'm so sad/I
miss my dad". Oh, just wretched, that thing. I also cannot make it through
this without crying. (Get it? Cuz it's so bad? ZING.) But it's good to know
that they sold that one soundtrack that they made by accident.
Peter Pan is short and underwhelming. The concept is cool, it's great to look
at, but I can never justify a 45 minute wait for 3 minutes of, "Cool! So
small!" Ride vehicles are neat-o, though. You must always wave to Nana.
WAVE TO NANA!
I think Space Mountain is so totally rad. I honestly get giddy every time I
climb into that car because I'm about to go into space and it's SO COOL. I love
the exterior as well--so 70's futuristic. I'm having trouble coming up with any
explanation beyond, "CUZ ITS COOL, I LIKE LIGHTS!" The DL version is
much less cool, I will say. If this were a DL list, I'm not sure that it would've
made it. You know, less colors. I've waited two hours for Space Mountain
before. With a FP [Fast Pass] in hand to ride it again immediately after. Maybe
I have some sort of forgotten childhood subconscious thing with it. Who knows?
Same with Rock n Roller Coaster, too, really. I mean, arguably Everest is no different.
There's nothing "Disney" about a Yeti. Their Disney-oscity lies in
their awesome-noscity.
I considered Philharmagic, Toy Story Mania (which I do think is really fun but
I can't wait to not have to wait in line for 6 days just to ride it), Star
Tours and MuppetVision3D. Oh, and I seriously tried to rationalize adding El
Rio del Tiempo (name change? what name change? lalalala...) or Maelstrom. But
that's when my brain starts going, "And
Jungle Cruise! And the Tiki Room! Andandandand!" and I remind myself that
the point is to pick only ten.
Oddly, I've never ridden Kali River Rapids. I've always wanted to but there's
never been a convenient time to be soaking wet. I get pretty wham-bam in Animal
Kingdom. Get in, ride Everest a couple of times, Dinosaur, Rainforest Cafe, and
I'm outta there. I'm a little surprised you didn't have your little safari on
there, too. Or the dreaded Carousel of Progress.
This felt reeeeeeeeally ramble-y. Feel free to edit. Structure was never my
strong suit.
That was a lot to take in... I'll respond, you respond (in
short form) with any closing thoughts, and we'll call this one complete...
1) Finding Nemo, when we saw it, was still in rewrites. I scanned through the
soundtrack and there is no "I'm so sad; I miss my Dad". So, if that
was in it in 2006, it's not in there now. Either way, the tech and the puppetry
is awesome. The music is catchy, and it grows on you. I love it now.
2) I wonder if that open mouth thing is what happened to me. We got a video
with 2 Tofu Muchachas. It was mildly disconcerting.
3) You mention, briefly, Mission Space. I read things all the time about Top
10s and whatnot, and I very rarely see it mentioned. I've ridden it once, and
it was "meh" for me. Not memorable. (I did ride the tame version). It
didn't make me sick or anything, but I can see how it would. I also note no
mentions at all of Test Track. I skipped it for the first time on my most
recent visit. And we definitely had the time.
4) The difference between Rock'n'Roller Coaster / Space Mountain vs Everest in
terms of "Disney-Osity" is the level of technology and the theming.
There's nothing more inherently Disney about a Yeti than there is about
Pirates, but the Yeti itself is so awesome, and well done.. ONLY Disney could
do it. I've never felt the same about the other 2. There's something original
about Space Mountain that I will concede, because i think it was the first
indoor, dark roller coaster. I'd be more inclined to include that one, just
because of the historical significance. Maybe it's the Aerosmith inclusion in
the other one that sort of makes me apathetic to it. Seems to date it very
specifically, and isn't Disney supposed to be at least a little timeless?
5) I feel far more "Wham Bam" about Studios than I do about Animal
Kingdom, though Tower of Terror is a fairly new addition to my favorite rides
and it certainly extends my stay there. AK has a bunch of "second
tier" things for me. The Safari is awesome, but it’s far too dependent on
the animals' moods to be truly in top 10 considerations. Dinosaur is good, but
not great. Festival of the Lion King is great, but I didn't have room for 2
shows. Same with Tough to Be a Bug. I'd choose Philharmagic over it any day.
Kali River Rapids is fun, but way too short, and yeah... There's about a 50%
chance of getting more than soaked. Like... completely water-logged drenched.
Not worth it.
6) Carousel of Progress is part of the subject of a whole other e-mail
exchange: Things that sorely need updating.
7) You mentioned also the Tiki Room... They finally brought it back to the old
show, and it was awesome. It also just missed inclusion.
Well, we agreed on an awful lot, even if the placement was
different. I think it's really heartening how many recent additions we both
have on our lists. I think it's easy to sit back and look at all the things that
have changed or that Disney is doing wrong nowadays. This list served to remind
me that they still do a lot of really cool things
that stay true that what Disney once provided and what we fans have come to
expect. A beginning, middle and end. Intense theming. Superior technology.
It's also nice to see that things that have barely been changed since their
construction (adding Sparrow or changing audio are really small changes, if you
think about it) on both of our lists. The Star Tours changes have updated a
ride that was starting to feel dated and stale without changing the essence of
the ride--or getting rid of it all
together. These lists have really made me feel a lot less pessimistic about
Disney (as reading critical blogs can often lead you to be).
With the big Fantasyland expansion looming, it feels exciting to think about
what these lists will look like in another ten years. How odd and special how
Disney can balance the old with the new and manage to have guests love all of
it. It's not as though it's all geriatrics on Pirates while the kids are
zooming around Test Track. Well, that's enough gushing about WDW. I'm glad to have
my current list archived so I can look back and it (and think, 'Really, Annie?
Really?').
One last note: Seriously? Finding Nemo: the Musical? Out of everything--EVERYTHING--else,
you pick that. It boggles my mind so much that I give the computer screen the
side eye, wondering if you're just trolling your own brain somehow. But, sure.
Tell people it's awesome. Less people in line for Everest that way.
*********
If you were entertained and wish to follow Annie on Twitter, she can be found at @djphob
Me? I'm at @beefymuchacho (of course).
