Uh Oh... I made someone mad. 19 Points...

It seems that my last post made someone an itty bit mad. So... I've decided to break from my normal format for one entry.

I am a proponent of free speech, and I absolutely welcome differing opinions. That said, I started blogging 6 years ago to debate one particular crazy person, and I know that this kind of thing can go on forever. So... This will be my one-and-only full-on response to a comment of this kind on this blog...

If ever you want to break me down, point by point, I welcome it, but please consider that other readers are here to be entertained too, and this kind of back and forth is tiresome for most casual blog readers. I'm not against, or afraid of, debate, but since that's not the purpose of this particular blog I need have the debate without driving others away. I mean... I have so few readers as it is. So, after this response, I'll keep my debates for the comments section.

Anyway... It appears that I hit a nerve... Delightful. Let's do this...

–- (His Comments)

-- My Comments
-- My Original Blog Content

Hey, Dumbass...Some of us actually read both of his "books" before we voted.

1) Congratulations on being literate! Well done. What does his book “Dreams from My Father” have to do with anything? (for those of you who have not read it, it's a memoir of his life up until the time he entered law school.)

2) I applaud you for inferring... oh so many things... but to first assume I didn't read his books prior to voting, and to secondarily assume that reading his books would dissuade me from voting for him are... well... just bad assumptions. I read both of his books. I voted for him anyway.

We actually looked at his very slim record and decided that we did not want his brand of socialism.

3) “We”? Oh wait... you're talking about the hoards and hoards of people who voted AGAINST Obama. Right? Because anyone who disapproved of Obama's “slim” record would have never voted FOR John McCain and Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin whose own service record makes Obama look like Strom Thurmond's. That only leaves the vote against, right? Like... “I don't like either of these unqualified fools, but this one guy is black, and that I cannot abide...”. Did I get that right?

4) I mean... I know what you're saying. Having universal health care would definitely be a Marxist's dream come true (and the obvious decline of democracy and capitalism)... because that's where you're getting the socialist thing, right?

We didn't just look at the color of his skin like all of you racists.

5) So... I'm a racist? Based on? Oh wait... I get it. You're trying to say that because I acknowledge the man is black makes me a racist. And I voted for him because of it? Because... I hate my own race or something? I don't get it.

each were bigger than the Black Monday collapse of 1929. Then on October 3... blame those people who voted for McCain. Goodness no.

You have so many misguided thoughts and emotions going on there, typical leftist.

6) Not to get all “fact-y” or anything on you, since you seem to be set on throwing out random “insults” and ad hominem attacks, but The Dow Jones industrial average fell over 1,874 points, or 18%, in its worst weekly decline ever on both a point and percentage basis. That is not my “typical leftist opinion”. That is what we silly folks in the real world call “facts”.

I know the war isn't Obama's fault. I mean shit...he was in the fucking Illinois STATE Senate when we got involved, but it's amazing.... If you're against the war, .... Hi Reverend Haggard!! Hi Bill O'Reilly!! Hi Larry Craig!!")

Hi Bwarney Fwank! Your hero.

7) Interesting that you bring up Barney Frank to poke holes in MY point. You're equating doing meth with a male prostitute while vocally preaching homophobia and fundamentalism (Haggard) or attempting to engage in illicit, anonymous gay sex in an airport restroom (Craig), to being an openly gay, unashamed congressman (Frank)? One of these things is not like the others.... This comment is so helpful in proving my point. Oh...and are you implying that I'm gay because I might like Barney Frank. I hope so.

Yeah, I can tell your not political, you vapid dipshit.

8) You make a strong and valid point. Well done.

My point is that these fuckers are so obviously racist, it makes me sad.

You are the RACIST, voting for a candidate based solely on the color of his skin...or did you also admire the way he reads the teleprompter???

9) Why did I vote for John Kerry? Because his wife was rich! Why did I vote for Gore? Because he believes in that crazy myth of Global Warming! Am I an Earth-ist? Am I a Ketchup-ist? Maybe I voted for them because I couldn't stomach the alternatives. Maybe I voted for them because I couldn't take anyone with the last name “Bush” seriously. (OBJECTION! RHETORIC!)

Although... speaking of which, I do like my leaders to be able to speak in public without chuckling and tee-heeing like they just heard the BEST boner joke.

YOU ARE A PUSSY!

10) Yep. Got me. I probably have a poster of Lenin in my bedroom too, right?

These idiots, who are against a national health care system even though half of them can't afford heathcare themselves, who say it's un-American to repeal "Don't ask don't tell" yet can't be axed to provide a single reason why being gay matters while you're shooting a gun...

You are stupid, did that dude Rachel Maddow tell you what to think about that? He is awesome.

11) I wouldn't know what Rachel Maddow has to say about much of anything, but if he agrees with me, he does sound awesome. Rachel is a weird name for a dude. Anyway.. I do what I can to listen more to people who disagree with me. I don't require some random radio or TV personality's affirmation to reinforce my own opinions.

But sure.. Let's post some fucking bumper stickers.

Hey while we're at it.. lets vote in a whole new congress based on \making body in one swoop.

(crying little bitch)

12) Because I wish people had the ability to look at long-term outcomes of their short-term decisions? You're right. I am a crying little bitch. I think it's sad that our government is so splintered at it's core that no policy, good or bad, has much chance of becoming more than an idea. It goes both ways, my friend. Mr. Bush didn't have much success getting things done either. That's sort of what I'm saying.

It's the biggest flaw in what sure seems to be a broken system. There's no chance at continuity.

You are smarter than the founders? Yeah?

13) Well... No. I believe that our government is the greatest in the world. The founders of our country had the forethought to write a constitution that possesses elasticity. It's the greatest trait of a great founding document. That said, I also believe that our current government is far more bi-partisan than they ever imagined it would be. The three branch system is one of the greatest ideas in all of democracy, but we don't have just 3 branches. We have more like... 5. The Supreme Court is made up of 2 parties, Congress is made up of 2 parties. The idea is to have these branches act as a single vote, but they can't even get their own shit together.

You're implying by your comment that the “founders” would look at today's government, or really more to your point, the government of George Bush and be pleased. Me? I'm not so sure.

Maybe one day, long ago, the American public as a whole was more shielded from the process and the folks elected to lead could lead. Now, there's such a divide, and there are so many loud voices convincing people of whatever is in the interests of the actors spouting whatever makes them rich, that we end up with so much turnover nothing can ever truly be accomplished. We live in a country of perpetual agitation.

HUH?

14) I'm just wondering if, back in the days of Eisenhower or Truman, the government had more opportunity to you know... govern. Without all of the static and agenda pushing that permeates our airwaves on a daily basis. That's all... because as it is now, the overturn in our government doesn't allow any sort of forward momentum. Thus “perpetual agitation”... you know... like a washing machine.

ASIDE:
Is it worse if Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly believe what they say or don't?

What do they actually say that makes you wet your pants so much? No, not the stuff Keith O. tells you about...the stuff you actually heard with your own ears and processed with your own brain and actually did your own research. You know, "thinking".

15) It's not so much that I'm afraid of Glenn Beck or Rush or Bill O'Reilly. I think it's fairly likely that they don't believe what they're saying, and are simply getting rich off of the millions and millions of less discerning listeners who buy into what they're saying completely. I believe they are actors who are taking advantage of the less educated. What I AM afraid of, though, is that these people who listen aren't listening for entertainment.

...he's black?

No, i hate his policies, based on what he has stated. I, like most people (besides you) have no issue with his skin color.

16) Let's set aside your repeated assertion that I have an issue with his skin color (despite your opposing assertion that I voted for him strictly because of it). You've hit on one of my favorites. The notion that nobody cares that he's black aside from us crazy liberals. It must be my imagination that white people and republicans disapprove of the job he's doing whereas democrats and minorities approve?

Now... I realize this takes a leap of logic that you may not be capable of, but there are only a couple of conclusions that can be drawn. 1) The approval ratings go beyond actual job performance, and possibly stray into the realm of bi-partisanship for bi-partisanship's sake as well as the stickier realm of “white people don't like Obama as much as Black people.” or 2) That only white republicans know what the hell they're talking about. You wouldn't wanna assert that, would you?

How shallow are we the people that money and race are the only determiners of a leader's worth?

Project much????

17) Let's just say that I do tie worth to money and race. (I don't, but for the hell of it..) That would simply lump me into the same enormous group I'm talking about above. There are millions and millions of people who voted strictly based on how their wallets would be affected. Like it or not, there are many people who voted (one way or another) based on race. As for myself... I can't see myself voting for Sarah Palin under any circumstance. If that makes led by race or my pocketbook, guilty as charged.

So, you hate Sarah, because she wouldn't murder her baby too, eh? Or do you hate her because Jon Stewart (Abramowitz)told you to?

18) You're missing my point. I brought up Sarah Palin because among her other insanities, she had a website that literally put a cross-hairs target on the face of the congresswoman who was shot in Arizona, and I question the wisdom of tying that particular visual to her point. (She was pointing out the important elections and which Democrat candidates had to be “targeted” for being voted out. Of course, put that imagery in front of a lunatic with a gun.

I have no idea what place abortion or pro-life vs. pro-choice has anything to do with my blog entry, but I have to hand it to you. You're working really hard to muddy the point.

Now... as for Jon Stewart. I don't watch The Daily Show, but I will say that if you're planning on outing someone else as a racist, you may want to stay away from the willy-nilly “Jewish name inventing”. Stewart's real last name is Leibowitz. I know that there are a couple of similar letters, but in this case, I'm pretty sure only one of us is coming across as an anti-Semite.

That whole thing is beyond fucked up. I could write a whole post about it, but you know... I won't. I'll be back to obsessing over sports and Disney and movies tomorrow. I'll just leave you with the words of Sheriff Clarence Dupnik who probably will be criticized for them. Oh wait... he already has been. I'm shocked.

"When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government. The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous."

You have no vitriol here, huh? Typical leftist, brainless and projecting their own hate onto others. So sad, you are full of so much hate.

19) No, you're right. My blog is not free from vitriol. But it's also my blog. It's not my “Nationally syndicated radio show” and not my “New York Times Bestseller”. I have no power. I have no readership to speak of. The danger isn't in one, essentially anonymous blogger's opinion. The danger comes when people like those pundits, I talked about earlier, say dangerous and unsupported things on their radio shows and television interviews and because notoriety equals authority in our world, people listen. They don't question. They just nod and obey.

Let's Blame Someone!

You know what's really starting to piss me off?

All those bumper stickers crapping on the Obama presidency.

"Don't Blame Me. I Voted for McCain"
"Obama Bin Laden"
"OneBigAssMistakeAmerica"

How 'bout fuck you?

Listen... I'm no apologist. I know there are issues with the country. I know that Obama is fallible. Everyone is fallible. I know that this blog will come across as one big "liberal, commie rant" or whatever, but that's not it at all.

I also know that the problems with America are bigger than one person, one administration, one party, or even one two-term silly redneck. As much as I disliked the very presence of Gee-Dub, I never was short-sighted enough to assign all the blame for anything to him.

Here's what I don't like. Here's what makes me feel icky... It just seemed a little too quick to be actually, you know... thought-out. The "Anti" sentiment that pervades. I think I saw my first "Don't Blame Me... " sticker 2 weeks after the inauguration. Amazing. I'd love to know exactly what Obama did one way or the other after just 2 fucking weeks. Nothing. He was still learning the routes to effing oval office from his bedroom at that point. The system is basically designed to prevent quick decisions and quick actions.

I think it's pretty safe to say that anything that actually makes it through to becoming actual policy/law in the first two years of any administration is more attributable to the previous one.

Let's take the whole... "Obama is a reckless spender who has ruined America's economy" thing. Seems to me that in the year 2000, America's economy was as strong as it ever was in history. Yes? Yes. By October of 2008 our economy was facing collapse. Yes? Yes. There were days and days of drops in the stock market that each were bigger than the Black Monday collapse of 1929. Then on October 3, 2008, president Bush signs the SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLAR Bailout that was approved by a largely Republican congress. I'm not saying it was right or wrong, but it certainly wasn't Obama being economically irresponsible. But don't blame those people who voted for McCain. Goodness no.

I know the war isn't Obama's fault. I mean shit...he was in the fucking Illinois STATE Senate when we got involved, but it's amazing.... If you're against the war, it's Obama's fault because they're still there. If you're FOR the war, it's Obama's fault for being too much of a pussy and pulling out. (I wonder what pervs will happen upon my blog after Google mistakenly leads them here after that last sentence.... Hi Reverend Haggard!! Hi Bill O'Reilly!! Hi Larry Craig!!")

Anyway... I'm honestly not particularly political, so I don't care much for who's fault whatever is. After all that, it's not my point.

My point is that these fuckers are so obviously racist, it makes me sad. The stickers and the blame and the allegations of "socialism" or being "un-American" is just a thinly veiled excuse for all those Dixie-Flag-Waving, Back-of-the-bus pointing, pathetically obvious rednecks to be the racist fuckers they are all out in the open. It's scary.

These idiots, who are against a national health care system even though half of them can't afford heathcare themselves, who say it's un-American to repeal "Don't ask don't tell" yet can't be axed to provide a single reason why being gay matters while you're shooting a gun...

Since the protestation makes no sense, the only conclusion I can make is that they were determined to be against him no matter what, which is... dare I say it, the most un-American thing of all. The notion that a person is automatically wrong because they may represent a viewpoint that they are told doesn't mesh with what their ideals should be... it's so fucking convoluted and dumb, and monarchist. That's right. I said MONARCHIST.

I was once told, by a person I wholly respect otherwise, that President Jimmy Carter "hates America" because he had the audacity to state the opinion that a majority of the anti-Obama sentiment was at least partially racially motivated. I mean... Jimmy Carter. Nobel Peace Prize winning Jimmy Carter... Hates America. WHAT? Of course, he's right. Carter, I mean. To many people made the decision before there was a single fact supporting either side for it to be legitimate, informed opinion. Another guy I know put up a sign in his front yard the day after the election, saying something to the effect of "R.I.P. America". No possible way that Obama could do a good job. Not according to Sign Guy. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact it's a black guy with a Muslim name. No, no... Not at all.

I mean, me personally, even if I didn't like the guy, I think the election of Barack Obama was one of the greatest moments of evident growth in our nation's history. I know it's sort of like the back-side of Godwin's Law by bringing up Martin Luther King while discussing racism, but seriously... If you can't see progress in the fact that 40 years after the iconic figure of the civil rights movement was murdered in an act of overt racism a black man was elected PRESIDENT.. I mean... COME ON PEOPLE. How can that be Un-American? We should all be embarrassed that South Africa beat us to it.

But sure.. Let's post some fucking bumper stickers.

Hey while we're at it.. lets vote in a whole new congress based on the propaganda that Obama has too much power, or the Democrats have too much power, or they're just misguided and evil or whatever. The best way to get anything done either way is to swap out a full third of the decision making body in one swoop.

It's the biggest flaw in what sure seems to be a broken system. There's no chance at continuity.

Maybe one day, long ago, the American public as a whole was more shielded from the process and the folks elected to lead could lead. Now, there's such a divide, and there are so many loud voices convincing people of whatever is in the interests of the actors spouting whatever makes them rich, that we end up with so much turnover nothing can ever truly be accomplished. We live in a country of perpetual agitation.

ASIDE:
Is it worse if Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly believe what they say or don't?

The funniest thing to me is that I can't think of a single thing that any iteration of our government has done that has affected me on any level aside from a financial one. And is that what it all comes down to? Obama might raise taxes so we hate him? Well, that and the fact that he's black?

How shallow are we the people that money and race are the only determiners of a leader's worth?

I haven't even started in on the whole fucking travesty in Arizona, which is sad on a whole other level. That gets into the power of the media, the vapidness of Sarah Fucking Palin, the willful shift and or deflection of blame. It's just gross.

That whole thing is beyond fucked up. I could write a whole post about it, but you know... I won't. I'll be back to obsessing over sports and Disney and movies tomorrow. I'll just leave you with the words of Sheriff Clarence Dupnik who probably will be criticized for them. Oh wait... he already has been. I'm shocked.

"When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government. The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous."

I see a lot of movies.

Happy New Year, Faithful Readers!

One of my favorite things I did this past year on my blog was track each and every movie I saw in the theaters, and rank them as they came in. I was always curious as to how many movies I saw, and I was also sort of interested in seeing how I'd rank movies if I had a continuous flow-chart sort of thing where I listed them.

I'm very pleased with how it turned out, and I will definitely be starting a new list for 2011 soon.

So... Without further ado, a look back at the best and worst from my perspective, based only on the movies I saw.

Best Actress:
For me this comes down to three.
Natalie Portman in Black Swan is likely going to win the Oscar, and she definitely would be deserving. I didn't totally love the movie, overall. It felt... kind of unfocused. It seemed like it was trying to be different things. That doesn't make her performance any less incredible. She killed it.
Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air. I know that technically this was a 2009 movie, but I saw it in 2010, and it didn't get wide release until then. So there. Anyway, she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for this movie, and really I think she was robbed.
Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit. Ten minutes into this movie I knew this girl's performance was special. She was totally badass and she stood toe to toe with Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper, and Matt Damon and made them all have to rise to her level. She rocks.

Honorable Mention:
Anne Hathaway in Love and Other Drugs

Best Actor:
I mean... I don't think there were any truly transcendent performances by men this year.
Jeff Bridges in True Grit was great, and I firmly believe the guy makes a case for 2 wins in a row, after Crazy Heart last year. I wasn't the fan of DiCaprio's performance in Inception that many were. I felt like Joseph Levitt was better. Gyllenhall is good in Love and Other Drugs. Jesse Eisenberg is good in The Social Network. Just... I don't think anyone really stands out more than the others. I think I'm gonna have to go with Clooney in Up in the Air. Best movie of the year in the non-Animated category. He was great. And he has mastered the "The same but different" thing. I loved that movie.

Worst Actress:
Jennifer Aniston in The Bounty Hunter. There's really no contest here.

Worst Actor:
Gerard Butler in The Bounty Hunter or, as much as I hate to say it... Will Arnett in When in Rome. I've talked about how much disdain I have for Gerard Butler before. He's horrid in every possible way. It makes me super sad, though, to report that Will Arnett's schtick is getting old. He was awesome as Gob Bluth. He was funnier than anyone knows in Lets Go to Prison. But as funny as the guy is, he's limited, and it seems that his limits have been reached. Sad.

Best Performance in a Shitty Movie:
I'm gonna go with Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones. I probably wouldn't go so far as to call The Lovely Bones shitty, but it did solidly fall in the lower half of my list. Stanley Tucci is generally awesome, and almost always excellent. I don't know what it is about him, but he's always awesome. He was awesome in Burlesque too. His performance as a terrifying serial killer was one of the creepiest things I saw all year.

Worst Performance in a Good Movie:
Man... I mean.. maybe Nicholas Cage in Kick Ass? Or Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Hard to say. And funny enough, Good Old Nic Cage kicks ass in both of these movies. I can't think of anyone better in either role, and he is SO, SOOO bad. It's like an effing M.C. Ecsher painting.

Best Cameos:
TIE: The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson in The Other Guys. One of the most drop-dead hilarious bits in any movie this year, and I can't say any more or else I'll spoil it.

Non-Disney movie I'm Most Likely to Buy on Blue Ray:
This eliminates Toy Story 3, Tangled, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, so... I think I'd be really torn between Kick Ass and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. There were definitely better movies. Up in the Air, True Grit, Inception. Still... knowing my personal tastes in at-home-viewing, I think I'd be fairly unlikely to regularly watch those heavier flicks. Kick-Ass and Scott Pilgrim are both total nerd dreams, and a ton of fun. That's pretty much what I like. Something not too deep. These weren't deep, but they were a blast. If forced to choose, I go with Kick-Ass.

Worst Picture:
I don't know... I think I'd have a hard time thinking of a worse movie than The Bounty Hunter. Not just this year, but ever. I mean... I know it's not the worst movie ever *cough* Titanic *cough*, but it is really, really bad. Not even a close second on this list. Daybreakers, my 2nd lowest rated movie features a fairly entertaining premise and a fairly entertaining performance by Willem Defoe. They can't save it from Ethan Hawke, but it wasn't a travesty. The Bounty Hunter was a travesty.

Best Picture:
Generally, I think it was a strong year for movies in the "good but not great" range, but not nearly as strong on the high end. If I had to vote for Best Picture of the movies I saw, I'd be hard-pressed not to give it to Toy Story 3, which will never ever win. It was the best movie I saw all year. It was hilarious and deeply emotional. It had a great story. It was beautiful to watch. It was definitely the most great of any of the really good movies I saw this year.

Now, on to 2011.

Tooth Dust

(I regret initially searching on Google Images for "Fist in the Mouth". Some things can never be unseen.)

Does everyone remember how when you were a little kid there were these things you looked forward to for weeks.

Christmas morning. The last day of school. The next Disney movie (um... still.)

None of these, however, could ever take top the sheer thrill and exhilaration of your biannual trip to the dentist.

That crotchety old son of a bitch.

That's why last Tuesday was so fucking special. I had the rare chance to make my second dentist visit in just under a month. How amazing is that?! It was my fifth visit in 10 months!

You see.... almost a year ago I went in to see good old Crotchety Bastard ("C.B." for short) because my face was in this excruciating pain. It felt like I was sucking on a hot coal as though it were a god damned lolly. Turns out that I had a particularly nasty cavity. I subsequently made 2 more trips to the old C.B. One trip to get a "medicated temporary filling" and then a trip out to the other, more specialized and slightly richer and less crotchety Bastard number two, who gave me a root canal

Damn was that fun. There's nothing like being in the dentist's chair, face numbed to the point of stupidity, and having them get their little pointy hooky things inside from crevice of tooth and start yanking like they're starting a tiny lawn mower.

So anyway, after the root canal, the other, more specialized and slightly richer and less crotchety bastard number two gave me another filling, and said no more. I assumed this was it.

Until a couple of weeks ago, when I was biting down on a piece of soft, chewy pizza and the whole fucking tooth broke off. Like.. snapped at the stem. It's hard to really describe how upsetting it is when your tooth breaks off while not participating in a rock-chewing competition or some bare knuckle brawl, but rather eating a soft and innocuous piece of glorified bread. I can tell you that it was not cool at all. AT. ALL.

So I go back to C.B's office and he's all...

"You never came back for your permanent filling. "

and I'm all...

"What the eff are you talking about you Crotchety old Bastard?" (paraphrasing)

Turns out that filling the other, more specialized and slightly richer and less crotchety bastard number two gave me was ALSO supposed to be temporary and I was supposed to come back for yet another visit to the C.Bs office to get a permanent filling put in. Did anyone tell me this? No. No they did not.

So, the CB give's me some shit about being a bad dental patient and whatnot, because I was supposed to read their fucking minds or whatever, and gives me another "temporary medicated filling", and tells me to come back in a couple of weeks, because, lucky me... I get to have a crown.

That brings us to last Tuesday.

So I go back to the CBs office once again, and the first thing he does is stick me right in the mouth with some sort of numbing agent. My favorite part of this is that every time he does it (I've had it done enough in the past year that I actually have picked up patterns), he goes "Eaassy. Eaaaasy." Like I'm a god damned wild horse or something that needs to be tamed. Then he stabs me in the mouth.

So I'm getting good and numbed up, and I bust out my Anti-Dentists balm (aka: Carmex) and I give my lips a good lathering. Apparently I have a hard time keeping my mouth open wide enough, so I'm always getting yanked around, and getting my lips cracked and bloody and whatnot. It's not a fun time. So I come prepared with loads of lip balm and moisturizing stuff.

Anyway, I lather on a good amount of it, and go back to reading Entertainment Weekly. The dentist always seems to be seeing multiple patients at once, so I typically come prepared to wait in between. The strangest thing about it is that he doesn't have full walls in his office between examining areas, so you can hear everything going on in the other rooms. I can only imagine what horrors some child would feel while hearing my teeth get ground and drilled.

So, finally the CB comes back and immediately grabs my mouth like an angler grabbing a scrod.

Then he proceeds to violate my mouth.

The exact details of events are a little unclear, I have to be honest. I think it's a defense mechanism. There are three things that DO stand out.

1) At one point, he has his index finger hooked in the corner of my mouth like fucking Bass-Masters or something, and he keeps having these incidental conversations with other people while absentmindedly keeping his finger hooked in there. It was totally insane. By the time he was through, I had a deep gash in the corner of my mouth, and my lips were red with blood again. All of the Carmex in the world couldn't have saved my mouth from the fish hook.

2) Toward the end of the ordeal, the dentist was shoving a huge amount of this pasty stuff that eventually dries to become a filling, and after he sort of shapes it down, he has the tech-lady shine this blue light in my mouth. I don't have a funny story about that. I just thought it was weird.

3) The last thing the CB did was shave down my (now filled) tooth. There's something incredibly unpleasant about the sight, sound, and smell of having your tooth ground down. I generally keep my eyes closed during the dental procedures, as it helps me stay relaxed. Generally, I don't want to know what's happening to me. This time, I made the mistake of opening my eyes as he was grinding my mouth with a glorified Dremel tool, and I see a cloud above my head. Tooth dust. There was a fucking cloud of my TOOTH flying around the air. I took a sharp breath. I couldn't help it. This was a mistake. I breathed in a lung-load of my own tooth. The realization hit me, and I immediately breathed out again. I had a cloud of own, aspirated tooth dust coming out of my mouth like a sicko dragon.

I have another appointment on Tuesday.