Once again, here I am late at night, being alternately appalled and amused and creeped out by television commercials.
Did you know that it's now totally cool to advertise vibrators during prime time? Apparently it is. Trojan is now spouting about their "finger massagers" and they have all kinds of super enlightened ladies talking about how amazing their lives have become after they find their ways to the "finger massager". It's weird.
This reminds me... I've been wanting to ask this for a while.. I don't know if anyone else listens to the radio anymore, but there are these ads for The Lion's Den or something like that, and they offer "a special gift so sensual we can't even talk about it".
What could this possibly be? I am fascinated. First, what is so sensual that it can't be discussed on the radio? What an odd choice of words... They're not saying "so graphic" or "so anally" or "so orgasmic". They say "So sensual"... Aren't we talking candles and massagers and oils and stuff? I mean... just tell us. I want to know. If, after all this wondering, it turned out to be a pocket kama sutra or something, I'd be effing pissed.
I continue to be amused by the Kotex ads that basically make a whole commercial out of the stupid and manipulative commercials of other tampon brands. I particularly love the line "You'll buy Kotex tampons because I'm wearing white pants and have great hair. It's hilarious every time.
Yes... I'm vaguely obsessed (can someone be "vaguely obsessed"?) with tampon commercials. They are CRAZY. They always feature women doing all kinds of fun things, and dancing around, and wearing weird stuff. I think that's why I love these Kotex commercials so much, because they totally just put all of the silly things right out there for all the world to see, and then comment on it.
Taco Bell is creeping me the fuck out. The whole "Is Denise there" commercial series, I think, is trying to be funny, implying that these dumbasses think that cute Taco Bell employees would have any interest in giving them some secret deal. Instead, because this "Denise" character is played (in only the first commercial...she doesn't appear in the other one) by a cute, teenagery girl, and the idiots are played by middle-aged idiots who just come across as mentally retarded creepos.
KFC. What in the hell are you playing at? I mean, for god's sake have a shred of decency. You're making a bacon and cheese sandwich with FRIED CHICKEN SERVING AS THE BUN. I... I just... How can you possibly justify this. I'm pretty sure Dr. Atkins just had to change his underpants, because there can be no positives otherwise derived from this unholy abomination of meat and grease. Honestly, it's just disgusting. Also, I want one.
Oh... some updates...
-- As of 1 hour ago, I'm a vegetarian, until August 1st at the earliest. It's going to be difficult, but worth it (in the end).
-- There has been positive progress on the issues I discussed in my hope blog on Monday night. Nothing concrete as yet. You'll all be the first(s) to know. Right now, I'm going to be an optimist and say 51%.
-- Lastly, I'd like to conduct an informal poll...
Earlier today, after we finished taking the Tofu Muchacha's blog photos, we were walking back to my car at Mt. Airy Forest. There was a group of people gathered in the area, and they were sort of loitering all around my car. Including a lady who had her water bottle sitting on my trunk, and another 2 dudes leaning/sitting on the side of the car. As we walk closer, they take note of us coming, but don't move away. As I realize they're not moving, I say "Can I help you guys?" and when they just look at me quizzically, I say "My car's not a table."
1) I admit that I was grumpy. 2) I admit that they likely didn't realize what they were doing. 3) No damage was done to the car. 4) I will readily admit that I wasn't especially friendly in my tone.