Elevators. From the Archives

Another quality post from the past. Enjoy.

Original Subject: Beefy Muchacho's Laws of Elevator Etiquette.
Original Posting Date: 1/29/2006
Original Posting Site: Xanga

"The Beefy Muchacho's Laws of Elevator Etiquette"

1) Do NOT speak to strangers on the elevator. There are a few exceptions
a) You may speak to an attractive person in a playful manner. Careful to keep it PLAYFUL
b) You may speak to a stranger if they engage you in conversation first. They may have broken the social contract, but that doesn't give you license to be rude.

2) Do NOT take the elevator up only one floor. There are a few exceptions
a) If you are crippled or injured in some way, you may use the elevator. I mean...I'm not heartless.
b) If you are carrying something that is 20 pounds or heavier, you may use the elevator.

3) Do NOT take the elevator DOWN either one OR two floors. The same exceptions apply as in Law #2.

4) If you are in a conversation with someone and your respective destinations are different floors, choose 1 of those floors and get out to finish the conversation.

5) Do NOT stand in front of the elevator while people who are currently ON the elevator are trying to exit. (This is so damned annoying. How is it any different than standing in a doorway, blocking the way out for others. Just wait your fucking turn).

6) Do NOT, if you are on the 2nd Floor of a building, press the "Down" button and then take the stairs if one of the elevators don't immediately open. This causes all of the elevators to end up on the 2nd floor, a place where it should never be in the first place.

7) Do NOT hold the elevator door open while you complete a conversation outside the elevator. It's nice that you don't have to be somewhere, but other people might.

Okay...that's all I have to say about the elevator codes for now. Please...for the love of Pete, take the damned stairs folks. PLEASE.