Harried Muchacho

I’ve been so consumed with the production of The Crucible I’m directing, that I’ve found it difficult to get fired up about anything enough to make a blog out of it, and when I do think of something to write about, I’ve been having a difficult time really pinning it down in a logical way. For this blog alone, I’ve thought about the following:

- Favorite fictional characters from Television
- Favorite shows I watch while working overnight.
- Things I hate about renovating.
- The weird feeling I have when people I know, or have known for years, show up in national commercials, or when they show up in movies. This has been happening quite a lot lately. Enough, in fact, that the TM keeps asking me “Do you know that person?” whenever I perk up at a thing on TV.
- A Reds season preview/another meandering blog about baseball and the importance of it in my life.
- The phenomenon of celebrity.

I mean… some of these have legs, and some of these don’t, but I’m not super inspired by any…so in true Muchacho tradition, I’ve decided to write a quick update about various things in my life. Nothing like culling my day to day for material, right?

Vegetarian Stuff…
In case you wondered, I am still a vegetarian. I’m still allowing myself fish/shellfish/seafood so it’s sort of a loose vegetarianism, but I haven’t had red or white meat for a full 3 months now, and I actually no longer even remember what the last meat I had was…
Do I miss meat? Sort of… I miss it more as an idea than I do in practice. I haven’t been a big meat eater for several years, but I find myself frustrated by not being able to even have most “Soups of the Day” or having to pick off the delicious bacon that comes on the top of cream of potato soup. (Not loaded baked potato soup, where you’d expect bacon). That was sort of heartbreaking…to fastidiously remove the bacon. I’ve been careful to ask beforehand now, because that was fairly torturous, and was certainly the closest I’ve come to saying “fuck it.”
When we’re at home, the TM and I are pretty good about making various vegetarian foods and keeping it pretty interesting. She’s developed a fantasic recipe for bean enchiladas that continues to evolve. I made some pretty decent vegetarian chili. I’ve eaten tofu hot dogs at least a couple of times without wanting to kill myself.

Progress…

Could I do it forever? I dunno… I think I could definitely do like… 80-90%, but damnit do I miss bacon. It’s not even that I had bacon that often, but the prospect of bacon is appealing in itself. It’s also pretty depressing to go to the local barbeque places and not even be able to enjoy the fucking baked beans because they’re made with ham hock.

Wood Working Stuff…

I succeeded in completing my first project in February… a manly as hell workshop light that wasn’t particularly complicated, but definitely required some muscle. It took me a solid 2 days to make it, and I really do like it. It’s created a very bright workshop for future projects.

As for those future projects… I feel like it’s a bit of a cop-out to even say this, because I should have spent more time researching the hobby ahead of time, but damnit is this an expensive way to pass the time. Tools are really pricey, and it seems that each project requires like… 5 tools that are specific to that one kind of project only. I had been registered for a dovetail joint workshop, but ended up having to drop out, because even though the workshop was listed as being 110.00, which I paid… once I started reading more about it, I realized that I also had to bring like… 4 pieces of equipment I don’t already have. It would have ended up costing about 300.00 to do this 100.00 workshop. So…I canceled. It, admittedly, has taken the wind out of my sails at least a little, though I am working on something now that I hope to be completed by the end of the month. At this point, I’m a month behind on my projects, and maybe some of my readers were right… 11 pieces was optimistic. Not in terms of workload, but in terms of cost.

House stuff…
The TM and I have spent the last 3 months having stuff done to our house, and I’ll be honest with you…. As nice as many of the things are, and as necessary as the rest was… I’m so fucking tired of having people in the house. No offense at all to the contractors who are super nice and very professional, but I just want to sit around the house on my off days without my pants on, and your presence has hindered that a great deal.

That said, though… We have at least 3 super fantastic upgrades to the house that will increase the value if we ever decide to sell, and will certainly increase the enjoyment we have while we stay.

First, we re-did the deck in the backyard. This was a huge deal, since the old deck was nice, but was also rotting and falling down. The new deck is a good deal bigger, and has some cool features like a cutout for a tree in the middle, with a great bench surrounding it. I LOVE the new deck.

Also in the backyard, we removed all of the pieced –together sections of fencing and installed a 6 foot privacy fence all around the yard. This sounds so isolationist, but we’re getting a dog in the fall, so dog-safety is paramount. Also it does look so nice compared to the old fence.

Lastly (of my favorite upgrades), we knocked out the windows in our dining room, and had French doors installed in their place. These open up onto the deck, which now extends over far enough for that to actually work. Previously, the deck ended a good 10 feet to the left.

I guess what I’m saying is that our back yard is now really fucking awesome. We managed to take a largely forgotten space (also featuring some of the most hellacious weeds on the planet), and turn it into a really nice, extra living space that will be great for us, for our future dog, and for future residents if we decide to leave.

I mentioned the weed issue… well… through no real fault of anyone, and largely because last Summer was so insanely busy, the back corner of the yard (more like the back right QUARTER) became completely overgrown. Like… unpassable. So last Wednesday, I also managed to adhere to one of my resolutions, and did some house improvement work by tearing that shit down. It was hard, and it was hot, and I may have dulled the blades on the lawn mower, but I have to say I’m pretty pleased at the result.

I can also wager a guess that this corner of the yard will continue to be problematic. The yard slopes downward toward that corner, and water seems to flow that direction. Away from the house, which is good, but toward that corner… tending to make it a muddier, swampy area. This is bad for walking and enjoying, but really really good for plants. Those irksome weeds especially. Expect more updates on this once the play is over, and we’re back from our vacation.

Oh… That blogging thing.
My other resolution was that I’d be blogging more this year… I am pleased to say that I’ve pretty successfully stuck to my one-blog-per-week routine, though I’ve been delayed in posting until later in the week a couple of times. I am giving myself a pass on that.

In fact… I have basically committed to blogging EVEN MORE because of my new Disney-themed blog, which launched last week. If you’re interested in just my Disney blogs, check it out. I’ll post a link here every time I blog over there, so don’t worry… but if you want to add it to the blog roll now, the URL is:

http://beefydisney.blogspot.com

This has turned into a lot of babbling, so I’ll cut this off now… Some blogs to look forward to:

Imagineering Disney - A (hopefully) recurring segment on rides or attractions I’ve thought up. To be posted on BeefyDisney.

The Muchacho Tattoo… My resident Muchacho Artist, Tony Doench has completed my tattoo design, so now I just have to find a time to schedule the session. I’m hoping Jake (the tattoo artist) will let me time lapse the process. Either way, I’ll blog about it.

The Reds/Baseball blog. I just have to think of a good angle.

I’m always thinking about posting serialized original fiction as I write it…sort of like a workshop. We’ll see if that comes together.

Happy April!

I'm Still Resolute

Well… It’s been just over a month since I stated my New Year’s Resolutions, and I figured I may as well keep myself honest and provide everybody with a full-on update on each of my stated goals.

May as well just get started, huh?

Furniture Making –
First off… I think I should amend my wording. I’m not expressly looking at making big furniture pieces, so perhaps I would have been more exact by calling it “woodworking”. I think a nice wood box is a perfectly acceptable project, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it “furniture”. Same for an end-grain chopping block. I’m sure there are other examples, but I bring up these, because I’ve got both on my radar. Maybe I’m being self-serving here, but since the woodworking is certainly a learning process, starting with a book case or a roll-top desk isn’t realistic or a good way to learn.

So… how’s my progress? Well… Slow. It’s really fucking hard. I’ve been working on my dovetail joints, and getting in a lot of practice with my chisels and mallets and pieces of wood. I’ve spent a good amount of money purchasing tools and supplies and all that. I’ve gone to a friend’s woodworking shop to get in some practice with a more experienced person… still… slow going. I feel confident that I will still have my 11 projects complete by the end of the year, but I’m not sure if I can realistically go month to month. Some months are tougher than others, and each project has a different amount of time needed to complete it.

I HAVE identified my first two projects…

1) An end-grain chopping block/cutting board. This is a fairly cool project that isn’t overly complicated. It primarily is a practice in direction following, and clamping. Not a ton of cutting, not any real joinery. A good first project.

2) A box for my chisels. The box itself isn’t all that complicated, though would involve some dovetail joints (visible ones, not the utterly perplexing hidden ones). It also would have little interior inserts were you set the chisels.

Among the other projects for the year -  Zig Zag Chair, Tool Chest, and a set of narrow drawers.

Grade after One Month -  B minus. I’ve been working hard on the joints, but I have been indecisive about my projects and the definition of furniture. Now that I feel more clear on that, I think I can bring that grade up.


One Home Improvement Project a Week -

To be honest, I personally have done very little myself, but I am going to give myself a temporary pass since our entire house has been consumed with big home improvement work for the past 3 weeks. We’ve re-done our kitchen, we’ve knocked out dining room windows to install French doors. We had our deck torn down. We’ve added a privacy fence. When I say “we”, I really mean contractors, but that doesn’t make the projects any less disruptive. I’m seriously so tired of the mess… I’m just glad they’re doing a good job.

So…
Grade after One Month – Incomplete.
I’m not making excuses, but projects have been completed, just not by me. We still have another week on the interior, and probably another week on the exterior.

Vegetarian for a Year

This one, I’m pleased to say, is going well. I’ve been meat free for a little over a month, and I’m not feeling bad about it so far.

Some random observations:
- Usually I prefer eating out over eating at home. This has actually reversed since the beginning of the year. I think it’s because the Tofu Muchacha and I are fairly accustomed to eating almost entirely vegetarian at home anyway (aside from a meaty chili or the very occasional corned beef). I didn’t realize it, but the times I was most likely to eat meat was when we went out.

-Soup is my friend. I fucking love soup. I look forward to soup. Soup never lets me down.

- I’m feeling pretty good about my fish once a week thing. It’s made any sort of meat craving pretty insignificant.

- It’s hard to even pinpoint what meats I miss… I guess bacon. Not that I ate a ton of bacon, but it’s difficult to get a good potato soup at a restaurant that doesn’t include bacon.

- I have always been fairly eye-rolly about the people who bitch about there not being enough vegetarian options at restaurants. It always seemed silly to complain about how other people fail to accommodate your personal preferences. Well… I kinda get it now. The TM and I went to this German restaurant (in preparation for seeing CCM’s “Spring Awakening”, and while I expected it to be just as mean-laden as it was, I found myself annoyed at the seeming afterthought given to the vegetarian choices.
- Of course… I just determined what I could get and got something. Unlike this girl at the table next to us, who… I guess just ordered whatever her finger landed on in the menu, because when the waitress brought the food to their table.

The annoying hipster girl was all “is there meat in this?”

The waitress : “In goetta? Yes. It’s ground sausage.”

The annoying hipster girl: “Oh… I didn’t know what goetta was. I thought it was cheese.”

The waitress: “Ookay.”

The annoying hipster girl’s annoying hipster boyfriend (Accusatorily) : Um… She can’t eat that. She’s a vegetarian.”

The waitress (thinking to herself) – How hard would it have been to ask about the German thing you don’t know, since it’s probably not all that safe to assume it’s cheese.

The waitress (out loud): "Do you want me to bring you something else?"

The annoying hipster girl’s annoying hipster boyfriend: “Eh.”

They  then left the place without finishing their meal. I not sure if they paid.

Anyway… I know what Goetta is, and despite how delicious it may be, I know not to order it at a restaurant for at least the next year. I also know that if I'm not familiar with something, maybe I should ask what it is before ordering it. 

Grade after One Month: A minus.

 I’ve been successful so far. No lapses, not much temptation. I’m not like… LOVING it, but I do think that it’s promoting some healthier choices… and some less. (Cheese sticks? Fail.)

Get in Shape for the November 10K.
This one has been the least successful so far. I’ve really not taken any real substantive steps toward this one, and as opposed to the home improvement one… there’s no real reason I can’t have started, and there’s not really a way for someone else doing exercise can substitute for me doing it. If there was… I’d be rocking it, because the TM runs like someone is fucking chasing her every week. It’s maddening how dedicated and disciplined she is. I admire it, for sure.

All is not lost, though…

The plan all along was to start this one a little later, just to allow myself a tiny opportunity to ease into the plan. We talked about me getting a personal trainer starting around my birthday (Less than 2 weeks!). Unfortunately that well hasn’t been as fertile as we’d hoped, but I am using my tax refund to buy a good rowing machine. The reason I’m drawn toward that versus an elliptical or something of that nature is that my knees suck ass, so being able to do some real cardio on the rower, without putting strain on my joints is a good thing.

Oh… and I have a heavy bag that I like to punch, and I’ve been working on my form, I downloaded a boxing timer app for my iPad, and I like doing the rounds. It seems so finite, and not that indimidating. Of course, I’m only doing 3 or 4 at the moment, and the last 2 minutes feels like someone’s been making me carry jugs of water.

Grade after One Month – C minus.

Not a complete failure, but not really that good either.

Blog Once a Week
I can honestly say… I’ve been rocking this one. So far, through February 6^th, I’ve posted SEVEN blogs for the year. The last 4 months of 2011 featured 6 posts total. “

I’m interested in hearing what everyone things of the blogs. In general, I think they’re fine, but nothing really as stellar as the best of the best blogs in the past. I’m going to word away from blogging about sports, I think, or at least the nitty gritty type stuff. It seems that most everyone ignores that.

I’m also considering branching off and creating an “All Disney” Muchacho blog. There were a lot of interesting conversation topics that came up while I worked on that dual email with Annie, and there really is nothing more fun to blather about at length than Disney. If I were to do that, I would simulcast the blogs in both locations. Part of my knows that if I focus my efforts on a single topic, my readership will go up… Another part of me knows that my bad mouth isn’t really “Disney-esque”, so I kinda feel like I should make the Disney blogs an no-cuss zone. Kinda hard to enforce that when if my smiling Disney-Fan reader scrolls down too far on this page, they’re bombarded by motherfuckers. (See? I just did it).

Anyway… I’m pretty pleased about this resolution so far. I think that, depending on my schedule, I could even potentially do more. I’ve got my next two tick-tockin’ away.

Grade after One Month – A Minus

I like it. The people like it. Blogging regularly is good. That is all.

Stay tuned next week for “Chocolate, Wine, and Shopping”: Womanhood’s Trio of Kryptonite . Accompanied by “Beer, Boobs, and Big Televisions”: Manhood’s Fearsome Threesome.  

That New Year's Thing

There are different schools of thought on the New Years’ Resolution thing.

There are those who think New Years’ Resolutions are bullshit. In a kneejerk situation, I’d say that I fall into that camp, but it’s not true.

There are those who like the idea of resolutions, make them, and then immediately fail to complete them. This… sadly… is more like me. I have a lot of ambitions come January 1^st, but my resolve isn’t as strong as the resolution. (My favorite was my resolution to force myself to run a marathon BECAUSE I hated running. Good one, Muchacho!)

There are those who make the resolutions and even keep them. These are the Tofu Muchacha’s of the world. The people with staggering discipline and resolve. I admire them.

Among the people who make resolutions, there are sub sets. Do you tell people, or do you not? Does telling people make it more likely to complete the resolution, or just more likely you’ll feel dumb for making them and failing?

I guess we’ll find out together, because here are my five resolutions… for all the world (or my 3 loyal readers) to see.

The TM and I have both made 5 resolutions for 2012. I won’t spoil hers for you, but here are mine… In no particular order.

Resolution #1:
Post a new blog every Monday.

There was a time, a couple of years ago, where I was blogging regularly 10-20 times a month. That was when I didn’t have a girlfriend, and had a regular job where I could blog at work…. Er… I mean… think about my blog so that I knew what I’d write after-hours. Nowadays, if I blog 3 times in a month, that’s a lot. I’d like to think that the quality of the blogs I do post are better, overall, but I’m not even sure that’s true.

In any case, I really like to blog. I like writing, and I think that the “blog” is a totally unsung medium for creative writing. It’s a very raw venue to write, and I like that sort of unpolished quality about it. Even the better pieces of mine weren’t meditated over for weeks, but rather hours. I like that sort of immediacy.

Anyway, I don’t have specifics for content, but I’d like for them to be enjoyable for everyone, so I’ll try to mix it up, and post different stuff, and most importantly focus on the writing itself, because I have to believe there’s a unique voice in there somewhere.

Resolution #2

Build 11 pieces of furniture.

That may sound like a very specific and incongruous number of furniture pieces, but my thinking on it is that I’m not QUITE ready to start by January. You see… I just started becoming very interested in woodworking, and furniture making. The artistry of it appeals to me. The tactility of it. I love the smell of wood, the feel of the grain. It’s just a very appealing outlet for me. So far, I’ve made a table. It’s cool, but it’s not the kind of woodwork that I’m really talking about. I’m looking to learn how to traditional joinery (dovetails, dowels, etc…) and to do it by hand. I want the pieces to be useful, but also attractive.

Thanks to the generosity of my peeps over the holiday season, I’ve managed to amass pretty much all of the power tools and equipment I need to put together a solid woodworking shop.

The goal is to spend the month of January practicing some of the basic skills needed (joints, angles, routing) to hit the ground running for February. I’m extremely excited about this one.

Resolution # 3

Do one “home improvement” task per week.

I’m not looking to cop-out here by changing a light-bulb and calling it a week. I’d like to get the yard into shape. I’d like to re-do the light fixtures in the front of the house. I’ve got stair sanding, garage cleaning, house spraying. All kinds of things to do. I’ll be partly relying on the TM to give me tasks, but I don’t see why I can’t keep busy. I’m always looking to add to my personal skill-set, and I think this could also contribute to that.

Not very exciting, I know, but those gutters ain’t gonna clean themselves, and maybe I’ll be able to blog about how I fell off the roof, or was attacked by birds or something. Filthy fucking birds.

Resolution # 4

Become a vegetarian* for a full year.

I told my buddy Alan about this one last week, and when he asked me why, I honestly told him “I don’t know”.

I’m still not totally sure. It’s not a health thing, I think. I find myself generally bored by vegetarian fare (with the exception of what the TM tends to make), and I’m interested in expanding my cultural and epicurean horizons by exploring foods and recipes that can make being a vegetarian accessible.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE meat. Bacon is delicious. Pretty much any style of chili is great. I love it. But, meat doesn’t really agree with me all that well, and I can’t go through life eating things that make me feel sick just because I think they’re fucking delicious. That’s not a sane thing to do. I’m led to believe that being a vegetarian can be just as satisfying, and from a personal perspective, I find myself feeling much less like throwing up after a salad than a steak. So… I guess I figure, might as well give it a shot.

There are some additional features of this vegetarian thing… that really make it not entirely vegetarian.

1) I’m taking my mom to a steakhouse, and while I’m not sure I WILL get steak, I am reserving the right to do so without feeling guilty that I’m breaking the Vegetarian Code. I know I am, and I’m planning it ahead of time. From the start.

2) I am allowed one seafood item per week. It can be any sort of animal of the sea (other than lion or otter). The only qualifier is that it can’t be fried. Sushi? Yes. Traditional Fish and Chips? No. (additional note: this isn’t a fried food thing. If I want a French fry, I’m allowed). The reason for the “No fried fish” thing is that if I’m going outside of the vegetarian thing, I’m not going to undercut the potential protein and nutrient infusion by muddying those waters with fried batter. Just feels weird.

3) I am not cutting out eggs, cheese, or any other dairy. I’m also allowed to eat soups that utilize chicken or beef stocks. Again… I’m not against meat consumption. I’m just getting it out there from the beginning.

Resolution # 5
Get into good enough shape and condition to run the Turkey Day 10K run on Thanksgiving.

This is coming from the guy who planned to run a marathon, while openly hating running. I still hate running. But the truth of the matter is… I want to challenge myself. I always like exercise when I have time to do it, and having a specific goal will be helpful.

To this end, I am getting a personal trainer to help whip me into shape, and provide me with a training plan. My ideal would be to work away from the running track/road for as long as possible. Strengthening my core, and my knees, enough so that once I start working on the running (hopefully mid Summer?) that my knees and back can handle the pounding of the pavement. I’ve got pretty shitty knees. They’ve been bad for a while, and I even went to an orthopedist a couple of years ago who said that they’re bad enough that I could elect to have surgery on them to scope them out. For me, it’s a matter of how much pain I am willing to accept, and strengthening first is the best way to minimize the pain. My back hasn’t been right since I fell off that horse back at Blue Jacket in the Summer of 2001.

Anyway, this isn’t a weight-loss goal, so I won’t be reporting on my weight or whatever. This is a conditioning goal.

So there they are… I invite any of you to check in with me as I go, though to help with resolution #1, I plan to blog about a lot of these things. Expect photos of my furniture and my house projects when applicable. Expect profanity laced rants about my trainer. Expect long, flowery stories about how much I miss bacon.

Most of all, expect a shitload of bitching about all of it, because those who know me know that almost every unpleasant thing I voluntarily do is simply a way to have an excuse to complain.

I AM the Duke of Negativity, after all.

Let the resolving begin.

Gone Fishin'

NOTE: This is not Jermaine and Shaquita Loquacious

As you all probably know at this point, I am from (and currently live in) Cincinnati, Ohio.

Cincinnati is a notoriously backward, boring, out-of-touch town where our trends of today were everyone elses trends of last year. Where the streets of downtown basically close at 8 at night. Where there are race riots and hooker seeking mayors, and all sorts of quietly embarrassing things that I prefer not to talk about.

Cincinnati has nice things, too. It has really nice parks. It's got a really pretty skyline. It's got Skyline. It's got the oldest love of my life, the Cincinnati Reds (The FIRST PLACE CINCINNATI REDS!!!).

... as someone who has lived here my whole life, I've kinda run out of things to do after 8 pm. I've been to the restaurants. I've been to the movies and the Levee, and The Reds don't play every night. You can only go to the park so many times, and not legally after dark anyway.

And thus I found myself, along with the Tofu Muchacha and our friends Jermaine and Shaquita Loquacious (they're a married couple), looking for something to do on this past Saturday evening. We'd planned on going to see the Reds, but the game was sold out. I mean... That has happened to me exactly never times before, so I was pretty bummed. Then I remembered an idea I'd had only one week before.

Over the past 2 or 3 years (or so) something strange has happened. Cincinnati is slowly getting hipper, and with that slight hipper-ness a new nightlife has sprung forth. There are probably 10 clubs downtown that are chock-full of hipsters and graduated fratboys and skanks and all kinds of such things....

Well, last week after checking out the AWESOME production of Big River at The Carnegie Visual and Performing Arts Center (directed by The Beefy Padre and The Tofu Madrastra), the TM and I went to this new sushi place downtown (OPEN LATE!). On our way to the restaurant we encountered quite a few.. ehm... classily dressed young ladies traveling in packs toward one of or, maybe all of, the new clubs. The TM commented to me how she just absolutely loves to watch them, and how she could watch them all day.

Fast forward to a week later, and me telling Shaquita and Jermaine to come over to the house and bring their lawn chairs. Whhhhaaaaat?

That's right. We went downtown, set up chairs, and watched the night parade. And it was fucking AWESOME.

At first I was just saying we were going to go down and watch the hoes, and yes... there were hoes, but there was oh-so-much-more.

Some of the awesome things we encountered...

- A very sweaty dude who saw us sitting there enjoying the night breeze and just plopped right down next to us, as though we were doing the normalest of normal things. Then he told us about how tired his legs were. He sat there for a minute, and then as quickly as he arrived, he disappeared into the night.

- A homeless (this was not immediately clear) man, claiming both that it was his birthday and that he had throat cancer. Both of these may have been true. What was definitely true was that he regaled us with a very lengthy poem about the colors we were wearing, occasionally incorporating our names (or at least the ones we gave them). This poem went on for a solid 3 or 4 minutes, at which time he held out his hand. I assumed he wanted a high five. I was wrong. That long-ass poem cost me 81 cents. You know what.. it was worth it since it was his birthday and he'll be dead soon from the throat cancer. He was a highlight.

- A woman from Switzerland who took our picture.

- A police officer on a bicycle, who we'd seen a few times across the street, and who we assumed would make us vacate our spots when he finally made his way over to us.. Quite the contrary! He was all "Watching the people, huh? Can't say I blame you. Great night for it!" That was awesome.

- A whole lot of Chicago Cubs fans who, apparently high from a rare win over my Reds, were in great spirits. They were far more curious about what we were doing than any Reds fans. Most of whom took some note of us, and continued on their no-so-merry way.

- Some really, really fucking drunk people getting out of a white school-type bus with tinted windows. Now... this white school bus reminded me of those buses you see going to and from the prisons in movies. Either way... they were all W.A.S.T.E.D. Like ferreal. Two of the dudes were suggestively eyeing the TM and Shaquita. Then they made their way across our paths and right into a stretch SUV. Not their stretch SUV, of couse, so there was a minor scuffle between them and the stretch limo driver, who was pretty bent out of shape about the whole thing. Then the drunk dudes pretended to jerk each other off... yeah... I dunno. I guess there's something to that whole latent homosexuality in American fratboy theory that is so popular.

- Then of course, were the hoes. There was no end to crazy-ass shoes and RIDICULOUSLY short skirts. And seriously.. crazy short. Like the shortest skirts anybody's ever seen. I'm not saying they all should have been wearing something more... more, but most of them should definitely not have been displaying that much of whatever they were displaying. Really, they are a whole post all on their own. What leads them to forget that, because they are women, and men are retards, that they could wear jeans and sweatpants and still get laid, if they so chose? I firmly believe that it actually has nothing to do with luring we dumbass mens, and everything with showing off to the other women. Aaaaanyway...

At some point during the hour or so we were down there, minding our own business, I decided we were actually being MORE aggressive than any one of the drunks, vagrants, idiots, and hoes that came up and talked to us, because we were openly watching them. Everyone watches everyone all the time, but it's all sideways glances and through sunglasses and quick peeks. We sat there. Watching people walk by. Listening to the snippets of their conversations. Occasionally poking our ways into their conversations when they'd glance at us sideways and point and whisper about how we're doing what they've all wanted to do.

I can honestly say it was one of the most interesting, enjoyable nights I've ever had in Cincinnati. I can't wait to do it again.

So, Jermaine and I were sitting there, enjoying the breeze, and he said something about how what we were watching was like an ocean reef. Where all the people were different kinds of fish, and different parts of the sociological food chain, which is kind of beautiful and true in a way... Every person has their spot in the eco-system of the world, much like each clown fish and shark have their own places on the reef.

We went Fishing.

A Misremembered Youth.

Hey Folks-

So for some reason I've really felt the urge to build a model airplane. I have no idea why. It's not something I ever spent much time doing as a kid. (Or any really). I just really wanted to do something sort of OCD and artistic and, also, I really am getting into aviation more and more. It's interesting, and certainly taking an interest in aviation can't hurt my job performance.

For some reason I've got this weird nostalgia for model building. This makes no sense at all, since I believe I ATTEMPTED to build one model of anything in my life. A 1967 Corvette, which was a great idea, but I was a dumbass and decided to paint first before assembling. This was stupid. And the thing never got assembled at all. I'm just not sure where all of this nostalgia comes from. I don't really even recall my dad talking about building models.

Aaaaanywhooo....a few weeks back I went into a hobby shop and looked at all of the model airplanes they had available. I really wanted a business jet, like a Gulfstream or a Lear product of some kind. Something that is directly applicable to my own job and life in aviation. I was disappointed to find that none seem to be available in this ilk at all.

Sure you have your fighter planes and air force jets and biplanes and things like that, but no business aircraft.

I looked online. Nothing. I looked at 2 other hobby stores. Nothing. I came to the conclusion that this just wasn't out there, so I ventured to the Boardwalk Hobby Shop in Mt. Lookout and after staring at the different options for a good 30 minutes, I decided that while I couldn't do business aviation models, I COULD do commercial passenger planes, which is the next closest thing to what I do. So... I picked out a cool looking vintage-y prop jet called a DC-6. In fact... here's the picture.Now... Isn't there something oddly appealing about this box? Like... I don't know why this plane is flying so fucking low over that waterfall, but for some reason the packaging makes me feel comforted. Like this plane model has been sitting in the store for 35 years. I almost expected the directions to be littered with inappropriate, racist language and references to gas being 16 cents or something. It just feels vintage-y to me, and that's why I bought it. Also, I really like the brushed aluminum planes that used to fly around. I think they're neat.

I thought this would be a good foray into model building, as it doesn't seem overly ornate. A couple of days went by, until last night, when I had a chance to sit and build the model as I watched the Ohio State game. I bust open the box to find this:Now let me just tell you that this is rated as a level 2 model (I believe out of 5) and some of the pieces are fucking TINY. Like... I have literally no idea how these would be applied. I even used some fingernail scissors as makeshift tweezers to make up for my fat fingers, and it was fucking hard.

I can't say that I was overwhelmed, but there were definitely points where I thought... "God damnit. I hope this is over soon. If it's not, I may go insane." I felt like one of those movie serial killers who painstakingly catalog or track or do whatever.

I wish I had more of a story to tell. It was just hard. And not really that much fun. Maybe painting it will be more fun, though I don't know when that'll happen. I haven't purchased the paint yet. I did nearly lose one piece because it was a) super effing small and b) so firmly attached to the little white framing that I had to cut it out using the aforementioned scissors. This of course made it shoot through the air and land out of my line of vision. To the point where I spent 15 minutes crawling around on the ground in search of this little tiny piece of plastic only to discover it on the couch next to where I was sitting.

In any case, I think that for my first model I did a pretty fucking spectacular job (sans paint, of course). What do you think?
Oh... and lastly:
Yeah... It's going great.