Thursday, September 9, 2010

What a Relief!

Go ahead lady. Might as well.

The TM and I spent this past weekend in beautiful Madison, Wisconsin for my old friend TJ's wedding to his high school sweeatheart (I know!), Kim. It was an awesome time full of reconnecting with folks I hadn't heard from in years, meeting new folks, and checking out another cool town (blog on the way).

This is not what I wish to discuss today...

Today I wish to discuss the most retarded thing I've heard about in quite a long time...

I won't go into the whole long background on how this even came up, but needless to say when there are brides wearing dresses and going to the bathroom for long amounts of time, the logistics of the dress and the mechanics of going to the bathroom are discussed. I mean... what would YOU be talking about? But then, after a short time, someone at the table brought up something that I have to believe is a myth...

Bridal Diapers.

Apparently someone decided that getting out of a wedding dress is just simply too time consuming, and the demands of the wedding guests are just far too great to take an extra 5 (or even 15 minutes), and instead... on the greatest day of their lives, those classy, white-clad blushing brides are just gonna have to pee in their pants.

How can this possibly be true?

I admit that I've not done a lot of research. The Google search I ran came up with a bunch of stories from a couple of months ago, both about the diapers, and about how the diapers were possibly a myth. I didn't find them as a product... Let me say one thing..

I hope to all that is holy that this is not true. That this is some weird, made-up thing that some bride joked about wishing they had a convenient plastic sack wrapped around their crotch to save them precious time tinkling. A joke. Please let it be a joke.

No better way to ruin the mood on the wedding night than lifting up the bustles and trusses and petticoats and finding a soggy pair of plastic underpants. Who knows... maybe some people would like that.

And now my football picks:
SAINTS (I picked a good time to become a Saints fan two years ago, huh?)
DOLPHINS (An intriguing team. Guess we'll see.)
TITANS (A tough team... if they add Haynesworth, look the hell out.)
PATRIOTS (I don't know if it will happen, but I'd like to see Tom Brady punch Revis in the face. I'm crossing my fingers.)
FALCONS (It all banks on how good Matt Ryan really is. Put up or shut-up).
BROWNS (I may be in the minority, but I've always liked Delhomme. The Browns might be a sleeper).
JAGUARS (I agree with Bill Simmons, who believes the Jags will regret passing on Tebow)
COLTS (Yawwwwwnnn. At least we may be nearing the end of the endless Colts era.)
RAMS (Sam Bradford is a good player. Suh will ultimately be better, but YOU HAVE TO TAKE A QUARTERBa..... sorry... I can't even pretend. Bradford was the right pick if Suh and G. McCoy didn't exist, but they do, so...)
PACKERS (Are going to score a ZILLION points this year)
49ers (I like Patrick Willis as much as the next guy, but I'm feeling another Revis Hype machine building)
COWBOYS (When can the interminable Tony Romo exercise end?)
JETS (Everybody's Super Bowl favorite... whatever. I hope the Pats punch them in their fat faces.)

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