Sunday, December 28, 2008

Big Boy Pants? Revoked.

Hey Folks-

So I moved in to my mom's house the other day. Let me just say that I'm almost 29. These two things should never be facts at the same time, but there it is.

In honor of my complete emasculation, I've instituted a new feature on the blog, starting today. I'm calling it "Big Boy Day". Essentially, it'll be Big Boy Day any time I feel particularly cool for living with my mom. I may not even say anything about it, but when you see the picture above of that tiny, angry child, you'll know... I am sitting somewhere, sucking my thumb, hoping that I may someday re-earn my big-boy pants.

Today I got home from work to find that most of the boxes of my stuff had been damaged by some water in the garage. So officially, my shit didn't even last a week before being potentially ruined by my decision to relinquish my big-boy pants in favor of saving money and attempting to build some sort of positive relationship with my mother. I didn't even spend much time thinking about all of my stuff. Just sort of took note, nodded, and went about my way. It's what I deserve.

Oh.. and as for the mom relationship status... Today's word is "TESTY".I'll be keeping you updated on that as well.

Starting in February, I'll pretty much be busy with rehearsals or the like almost every night, so I'll have a solid 3 months of being a hermit. Not much conflict should be able to arise. Of course, now that I say that she'll start each day by slapping me in the face, or something, and that'll be that.

In related news, my cats have moved in as well, and are currently dirtying themselves in the basement. They are yet to have full run of the house, as I'm not sure how they'll get along with my mom's dog, so I feel it best for them to sniff each other out under the door for a while. Disney the cat will never actually meet Cooper the dog, as she's moving in to my dad's place to fill the void left by the passing of beloved Polly last week. She's got a lot of work to do, but she's a sweet cat, so I think it'll be alright.

Pippin, I've decided, is my cross to bear. Pawning him off on someone else is the easy way out. I deserve him. It's what I get for going to the vet those 6 years ago and ignoring any one of the 5 beautiful kittens playing and sleeping and purring in the one cage, but rather being drawn to the kitten relegated to solitary confinement for being too mean to the others. As he looked at me with seething hatred, clearly plotting some nefarious act, I said "That's the cat for me!" and thus I have nobody to blame but myself for the wounds and the lack of safety he subjects me to.
Pippin is the black one. Disney the pretty, sweet looking one. She's much bigger now, as that was taken when she was but a kitten. She's also poofier.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Week 17 Football Picks... Old School Edition

Hey Folks-

In honor of the final week of the NFL regular season, I'm doing an old-school picks column. With words and everything.

First some business to take care of...

Week 15 I went 8 - 8.
Week 16 I went 7 - 9. (ouch)

That puts my season record going into the final week: 140 - 99 - 1. (FUCK-ing TIE)

Here we go...

St. Louis @ Atlanta
PICK: Alright... so first, how bout a nice hand for Matt Ryan. Locked up the Rookie of the Year by week 6 or something. Good for him. Second, I have to admit, that while I do bow down to E-Pizzy's College Football Personnel knowledge, I love it when he's wrong about someone. FALCONS

New England @ Buffalo
PICK: I know it's been said over and over, but doesn't this season with Matt-effing-Cassel show how great a coach Big Bill is? I mean... how can people question it at this point. They have a good shot to go 11 - 5 without Brady. Unbelievable. Oh...and also... PATS

Kansas City @ Cincinnati
PICK: What infuriates me most about the Bengals is that they're doing exactly what they did in the hey-dey of the Coslet-LeBeau Era. Stink and Stink and Stink and then "rise" to beat a couple of bad teams at the end. Fuck that. Fire Marvin. BENGALS

Detroit @ Green Bay
PICK: Prediction inside a prediction... If the Lions lose, the Jim Rome show on Monday morning will be one of the funniest shows in the history of radio.... So I'd get your recorders ready. PACKERS

Tennessee @ Indianapolis
PICK: My uncle Tim thinks the Colts are the team to beat in the AFC. I'm actually inclined to begrudgingly agree, though I do think the Steelers are better. I just have a feeling the Titans are one of the weakest 13-2 teams, offensively, I've ever seen and the Colts offense is one of the few that can score against the Titans. So... COLTS

New York Giants @ Minnesota
PICK: So... I haven't really checked, but I am pretty sure the Vikings have befuddled me as much or more than any other team this year, so while I'm inclined to pick the Giants in this game... I'm gonna go with the VIKES.

Carolina @ New Orleans
PICK: Dan Marino was one of my favorite players when I was younger. Maybe just because his name was Dan, as I can't really figure any other reason why I'd like him. I remember watching Bengals games and looking forward to the halftime highlights of him and Mark Duper. In any case, if there's anyone I'd like to see break his single season yards mark, it's Drew Brees. Too bad it would be in a mediocre/disappointing season. PANTHERS

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh
PICK: Pittsburgh, sadly, is my pick for the Super Bowl in the AFC. Not that they really need to try too much in this game. Of course, they don't need to try too much to win this game either. STEELERS

Oakland @ Tampa Bay
PICK: I'm impressed with the spunk of the Raiders, but the Bucs are going to be playing for a playoff spot. Going with the Pirates of Tampa here. BUCS

Chicago @ Houston
PICK: Well.. The Texans have been a pretty solid home team this year, and they''ll be fighting to get to .500. I have to admit, I'm kind of a closet Texans fan, ever since they took Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. So... TEXANS

Washington @ San Francisco
PICK: I can't get a handle on either of these teams. Seriously. They confuse the shit out of me. So I'm bringing back the coin flip... actually.. no. Wait. The Redskins LOST to the BENGALS. I'm clearly taking the NINERS.

Jacksonville @ Baltimore
PICK: Man... How pissed must the Jags fans be about this season? They thought there was all this hope and they have downright stunk for parts. I mean... they LOST to the BENGALS. The Ravens, on the other hand, have handled the Bengals twice. RAVENS.

Miami @ New York Jets
PICK: I'm making this pick strictly on how delicious payback can be. I used to love Brett Favre, but he's such a douche, I can't support him anymore. I used to respect the Jets as somewhat lovable losers who didn't factor enough for me to care. Then they picked up the aforementioned douche and dropped the oft-injured, but always good when healthy Chad Pennington. I liked him. DOLPHINS

Dallas @ Philly
PICK: Two of the most up and down teams of the season. Both have looked great and both have looked terrible at different times. I'm going with the Homies though, and picking EAGLES.

Seattle @ Arizona
PICK: Have the Cardinals become the most apathetic division winners in history. They start off so, so strong, and have sort of won a war of attrition with the rest of their crappy-ass division. I can't imagine that the Seahawks, who should have been better but for some injuries won't be bringing the pride to this one. SEAHAWKS.

Denver @ San Diego
PICK: What's wrong with the Western divisions? They're ridiculous. Neither team is any good, but I'd probably go with the Broncos in this one, just because I can't forgive the Chargers for getting rid of Brees for the overrated Phil Rivers. BRONCOS.

Later folks.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

A Holiday Movie List

Hey Folks-

Briana's boyfriend, Drew, posted his movie Top 5 lists on a different website, and it seemed like a fun type thing to do, so I'm gonna post my own.

So in any case, Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatever you do or don't celebrate.

Oh...and Thanks Drew for giving me a fun thing I write on a lazy day. (The categories are his...mostly.)

Top 5 Comedies:

1. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
2. Wedding Crashers
3. Anchorman: the Legend Of Ron Burgundy
4. Bowfinger
5. Groundhog Day

Top 5 Drama's:

1. Unforgiven
2. Children of Men
3. American Beauty
4. Goodfellas
5. Road to Perdition

Top 5 Horror:

1. The Shining
2. The Exorcist
3. Dimensia 13
4. Halloween (original)
5. Scream

Top 5 Sci-Fi:

1. Back to the Future
2. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
3. Unbreakable
4. Dark City
5. A Clockwork Orange

Top 5 Disney ( I can't help but think Drew put this in here JUST to get me to respond):

1. Peter Pan
2. The Lion King
3. The Little Mermaid
4. Hercules
5. Fantasia

Top 5 Foreign:

1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
2. The Seven Samurai
3. Pan's Labyrinth
4. 8 1/2
5. Ran

Top 5 Romance (chick flicks, but without the bad connotations):

1. Almost Famous
2. The Notebook
3. Sleepless in Seattle
4. Jerry McGuire
5. Pretty Woman

Top 5 Documentaries:

1. American Movie
2. The Thin Blue Line
3. Grizzly Man
4. When We Were Kings
5. Hoop Dreams

Top 5 Action (New Category)
1. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Dark Knight
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark
5. Kill Bill vol. 1

Top 5 Fantasy (New Category)
1. The Lord of the Rings; The Two Towers
2. Ghostbusters
3. Pan's Labyrinth
4. The Princess Bride
5. The Lord of the Rings, Return of the King

Top 5 War Movies (New Category)
1. Braveheart
2. Full Metal Jacket
3. Apocalypse Now
4. Saving Private Ryan
5. Tropic Thunder

Top 5 Sports Movies (new Category)
1. Cool Runnings
2. Rudy
3. Hoosiers
4. Rocky IV
5. Seabiscuit

Top 5 Steve Martin Movies: (Kinda random, Drew)

1. Bowfinger
2. Three Amigos
3. The Spanish Prisoner
4. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
5. L.A. Story

Top 5 Directors:

1. Kubrick
2. Scorsese
3. Coen Brothers
4. Wes Anderson
5. Spielberg

Top 5 Christmas Movies

1) Christmas Vacation
2) The Family Stone
3) A Christmas Story
4) Miracle on 34th Street
5) It's a Wonderful Life

Top 5 All Time Favorites (This is really impossible. Seriously)

1. Peter Pan
2. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
3. Unforgiven
4. Unbreakable
5. The Lion King

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Who Knew Hamsters Were So Hilarious?

Hey Folks-

When I was in Colorado a couple of weeks ago, I had some time on my hands to check out the new Disney movie Bolt. I would be lying if I told you that I'd been on the edge of my seat in anticipation for it's release, and there were a couple of reasons for that:

1) While I've liked a couple of the non-Pixar computer animated Disney Films (Meet the Robinsons was great, actually), a couple of the others were downright dumb (The Wild, Chicken Little [thank you Zach Braff]). Even the good ones weren't on par with the brilliance of almost any of the Pixar films.

2) I can not stress this enough... I hate me some John Travolta. I think he's creepy and weird and gross and untalented and a lunatic. Much of my perception of him as a human being (the gross, weird, and crazy part) stems from his inexplicable affiliate with the Sci-fi cult known as Scientology... There's just something really unsettling about those people. Still... Scientologist or not, he's a pretty weak actor. This didn't bode well for a film where he voiced the main character.

3) The trailers didn't inspire me at all.

4) I will admit that as much as I LOVE Disney and Disney movies, I've never felt all that rushed to see the animated ones when they opened. In fact I never did see Cars in the theater. Or The Wild. Or Chicken Little. I guess I just don't feel like they lose much going from big to small screen.

That said? Bolt was great.

Here are a few reasons why...

1) The trailers did not do justice to what turned out to be a really funny (and also kinda dark) script. The movie was a satire of the television/film industry masked as a kids movie about a dog. The story was a thinly veiled ripping of an industry with it's priorities out of wack. primadonna talent (cats), heartless agents, money hungry execs. Still... even without the in-humor, the script still stands up. The themes of heroism and loyalty are universal and couldn't apply better than when told through the story of a dog.

2) The supporting players were all excellent. Clearly the best was Rhino the Hamster (voiced by Mark Walton). That little guy is hilarious in every scene in which he appears as the blindly brave, super round rodent who lives and fights from within a plastic hamster ball. The crux of his character is that he derives his bravery from the adoration he feels toward Bolt himself, and where many other films would leave him disappointed in Bolt at some point, the movie takes the other route and allows Rhino to remain in awe of his hero, even as Bolt himself goes through his identity crisis. In fact, it's Rhino's unwavering faith that provides Bolt the boost that he needs in the end.

3) Travolta and Miley Cyrus were both actually pretty good. As much as it pains me to say it... John Travolta was pretty damned good as Bolt. There were even points where I even forgot that Xenu was in the building at all. Dare I say it... John Travolta may have found his new niche (his old one being that of a disco loving greaser or something). It's possible that the voice work allows him to use his voice (his one inoffensive asset) and also allows him to hide everything else (the offensive ones). I wasn't really surprised to see Miley do well, but you know... it's hard to tell what kind of talent that girl has. I even like their duet.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I'd give Bolt a solid 4. Totally worth checking it out, and I'm almost definitely going to get the DVD now. (Like I wasn't.)

On the note of DVDs... Why does Blu-Ray have to exist, and not only exist but be awesome? WHY? I have so, so many DVDs and soon enough it'll be considered antiquated technology. Not only that, but the fucking Blu Rays are effing expensive. Do you know how long it's going to take me to rebuild my Disney DVD collection in BluRay? A long effing time. And then they'll come out with something else like X-Ray or Disc-Tech or some bullshit. One thing that's for sure? Disney'll be raking in new money on re-releases in perpetuity. Fucking technology.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Quick mid-move Football Picks

The thing I hate most about the NFL, and the reason our picks get derailed toward the end every year is that the stupid league starts having games every fucking day. So far, we've had 3 non-Sunday games this week. Ee had a game Monday (technically last week), Thursday and Saturday.

In any case for the Thursday game I picked the Jags in my trusty memo field over to the right. Tonight I verbally picked the Ravens (Alan picked the Cowboys) and here I go with the rest...

BENGALS (I know!)
(4 road teams so far)

I'll have to tabulate later. And depending on how busy work is, I may post my review of "Bolt" finally.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Pilgrimage

Hey Folks-

The time has come. Well maybe not THE time, but at least now I know when THE time is.

2 months from today I shall once again be basking in the beautiful glow of Walt Disney World. In fact... 2 months from this past Saturday. February 13th through February 16. It's going to be awesome!

Why those dates? Disney in their infinite awesomeness has decided to grant us the greatest gift any person could ask for. Free Admission on your birthday. I know... I know... it's too good to be true. I thought so too, but I've looked around and done my research and it would seem that it's real. On February 16, 2009 I will be entering a Disney Park FREE OF CHARGE. It's one of my greatest dreams. I'm not kidding.

So here's my dilemma...

On which park should I use my free birthday admission?

The arguments for each are as follows:

The Magic Kingdom: Mostly this would be symbolic. It's the flagship park. It was the purest of Walt's visions (well... EPCOT was probably his pet, but Magic Kingdom started it all.). Also, since the birthday pass can't be used as a park-hopper, it's logical to use it at one of the parks that can literally take a whole day to enjoy.

Epcot: Probably my favorite of the parks, if pressed. It's the other park that can take a whole day.

Animal Kingdom: Not really an option, as I see it. I love it just as I love the others, but it seems like a waste for my birthday pass.

Hollywood Studios: Ditto.

Anyone have thoughts on that?

The other option is that I don't use it for entry, but rather I get a "Birthday Fun Card" which is good for merchandise and whatnot in the parks in an amount similar to a park admission. That appeals to me for sure.

There are so many decisions left to be made. I'm staying at The Pop Century. It'll be the first time I've stayed on property since January of 2005 (4 trips ago) and it'd even been a while before that. I'm interested to see what this one is like.

Oh... and despite my free flights, I'm gonna drive. It sounds crazy, but flying standby is a great benefit if you don't have places to be, but I'm not risking a minute of my Disney time with flight issues. And I'd have to rent a car there anyway, so the cost isn't much different.

More to come on this...and maybe when I'm not working or packing I'll write about "Bolt".

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Slackers and Football

Hey Folks-

So I'm moving next week. I'm not going far, but packing is taking up much time nonetheless. Sorry for the laziness. I promise to do better coming up.

Gotta put up the football picks... First off the record update.
I went 9 and 7 the week before last and I was 13 and 3 from Colorado (Interesting how my 2 best weeks have been while I've been away.)
That makes me 125-82-1. (fucking tie)

Here's this week:

Sorry this sucks. Hopefully I'll have a little time to blog tomorrow.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Football Picks from the Tundra

Hey Folks-

This is going to be a quick one. Just the winners for this week:

BRONCOS (I'm curious to see what it's like on game day in Denver)

I'll tabulate upon my return on Monday. I'll also post my thoughts on "Bolt". Not nearly as Travoling as I expected. Quite enjoyable actually.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Greetings from the Tundra

I'm in Colorado right now, enjoying my holiday, but I wanted to post my Thursday football game pick:


Also... I saw Bolt last night, and it was awesome. Totally better than I expected, and frankly... the best thing Travolta has done in years. He's such an idiot it's hard for me to admit liking him, but I think being the voice of a cartoon is right in his wheel house.