The 2011 Muchacho Movie Rankings: Part 2... The Golden Muchachos

I’m back for Part 2 of my 2011 Movie Blog Extravaganza! Also known as the less intense and overwhelming portion.

In Part 1, you may recall that I talked forever about a lot of movies. Some good, some bad, but most importantly, I talked a lot.

Part 2 will concentrate on the Golden Muchacho Awards. They’re basically like the Oscars, but way more prestigious, and far more fictional.

Let’s Get Started!

Best Supporting Actor:
Patton Oswalt, Young Adult
Okay, so I hated this movie a lot, but Patton Oswalt somehow rose above the fray to put in one of the better performances of the year, supporting or not. I would have enjoyed hanging out with him in his garage, drinking Jawa Juice or whatever it was he was making in those barrels.

Honorable Mentions:
Simon Pegg, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love
TJ Miller, Our Idiot Brother\

Jonah Hill, Moneyball

Aziz Ansari, 30 Minutes or Less

Best Supporting Actress
Anna Kendrick, 50/50
I believe Ms. Kendrick is now a 2 time winner of this award. It’s possible I’m not totally rational when it comes to her, because I find her totally fascinating, and really really talented. In any case, I thought she was excellent in this movie, as the reluctant love interest. She managed to play the character’s struggle between all of these conflicting emotions so well, and so believably. I mean… I would not have wanted her as my therapist, but that may have kinda been the point.

Honorable Mentions:
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants
Bryce Dallas Howard, 50/50
Judi Dench, My Week with Marilyn

Maggie Smith, Harry Potter 7 pt. 2

Elle Fanning, Super 8

Weirdest Performance, Female and Male Respectively

Carla Gallo, We Bought a Zoo – A truly bizarre performance and an equally strangely written role. Gallo tends to play relatively likeable characters, but this one wasn’t at all. It was so weird. I didn’t understand the animosity she had, and it just seemed horned in to create some sort of drama.

Mickey Rourke, Immortals – Man… this dude is totally crazy. I mean, I get that he was playing this crazy horrible villain, but he kept spitting on the ground and into things. Big pieces of fruit or whatever he was eating. It was so clearly a character choice he was making that was just strange.

Biggest Waste of Good Actors

Pirates of the Caribbean – Depp, McShane, and Rush in the worst movie of the year.. This is the CLEAR winner. There are no runners up.

Best Looking Cast

Crazy Stupid Love – This movie wins just by sheer volume of attractive people. Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Julianne Moore, and Marisa Tomei. I mean… That’s some good looking dramedy.?

50/50 – Bryce Dallas Howard and Anna Kendrick.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig

Captain America – Chris Evans and Hayley Atwell.
X-Men – January Jonesm Jennifer Lawrence, and Fassbender.
Drive – Gosling and Carey Mulligan

I refuse to list Twilight, because that’s literally the only goal of the producers of this movie, and they still fail. I won’t even go into how the vampires are supposed to be the most beautiful creatures on Earth, and um… Not even close. Did you see how butchered Maggie Grace was? Yikes.

Toughest Scene to Watch

Water for Elephants – The beating of the elephant. There’s only one other possible choice, and I’ll mention that too, but this one was the only scene that I literally had to look away. I don’t know how they did it, but that was some super disturbing, super realistic animal cruelty. Don’t want to see it ever again.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Rape of Lisbeth / Lisbeth gets her revenge. I mean… I don’t want to spoil it for people, but the horrible rape scene, followed by the subsequent revenge was pretty damned disturbing.  I’ll just say that while it was sort of enjoyable to see Lisbeth give that pervy guy a violent comeuppance, when she shoved that giant silver thing up his ass, and then kicked it. I’m certain the whole theater shuddered at once. That was rough.

Best Individual Scene – Comedy-

Bridesmaids – The Dress Shop Scene. If you haven’t seen it, my describing it to you will just seem gross. Just know that it was really fucking hilarious.

Best Individual Scene – Drama
50/50 – Pre-Surgery. The scene when Joseph Gordon Levitt is heading into surgery, and his fear and anxiety starts bubbling to the surface. A really powerful scene, excellently acted.

Best Actor

Joseph Gordon Levitt – 50/50

Look… This was a man’s performance. He hit every note, and he did it with subtlety and seeming ease. There was nothing showy about it, and it was kind of easy to get lost in the shuffle of bigger name performances this year, but for my money, JGL makes a potentially saccharine, manipulative role and squeezes every bit of humor and pathos out of it. He has 4 or 5 amazing scenes in this movie. Seriously, people. Buy it on BluRay and sit down and watch it. It’s just an excellent movie anchored by a really excellent performance by its lead.

Honorable Mentions
George Clooney, The Descendants
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Steve Carell, Crazy Stupid Love

Matt Damon, We Bought a Zoo
Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter 7

Best Actress
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Nobody touches it. She was so good, and so sad as Marilyn Monroe. I mean… I’ve talked a lot in other places about how I see a difference between the biopics where the actor impersonates a person (Ray and Monster as two highly lauded examples) and where the actor plays the person without doing an impression (Walk the Line). I much prefer the latter to the former since impressions seem gimmicky. There are occasional movies where the impression is so good, and so deep that you forget you’re not watching the real person. (Man on the Moon is my favorite of these.). Well.. Michelle Williams can be added to this list. And for the record, Jim Carrey was robbed.

Honorable Mentions
Carey Mulligan, Drive
Kristin Wiig, Bridesmaids

Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

A Time for Reflection

After the Creativity Workshop, I've found myself struggling to come up with blogs to write about. I'm not entirely sure what it is that's made me get the blogging yips, but I've always found that whenever I've had trouble coming up with things to talk about, I go back to one of the old wells...

In this case: Movies!

We're nearing the end of the Summer movie season and are about to dive (or maybe plummet) head-long into one of the 2 great darknesses of the year of movies... The dreaded Pre-Thanksgiving drought. It's not that great movies don't open then, but we're going to start seeing a ton of shitty rom-coms. A ton of sci-fi movies without the juice to justify a holiday release. That kind of thing. Mostly what we're facing are a bunch of movies only people like me will remember five years from now.

Considering the pit of blah we're about to be mired in, it seems like a good time to reflect on the movies I've already seen this year.. To talk about the good ones and the bad ones. To discuss the performances that stand out (for good or bad). To maybe even re-evaluate my rankings.

Let me talk about the rankings for just a sec. As you all know by now, I'm kind of obsessed with arranging things into orders. I love to rank things. I've always been curious how movies would rank if I kept a running tally throughout my viewings. So far, I'm pleased with the process.

Top Tier (aka: the best of the best. )
Up in the Air, Toy Story 3, Kick-Ass, Inception, and the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Up in the Air and Toy Story 3 are the clear numbers 1 and 2. Kick-Ass and Sorcerer's Apprentice were the 2 most unabashedly fun movies I've seen, and Inception was the most... something. I think. It's hard to tell. In any case, it takes some thinking, and that's a good thing.

2nd Tier (Aka: Good..not great, but good)
Iron Man 2, Despicable Me, The Crazies, Get Him to the Greek.

Iron Man 2 was solid and enjoyable. It had a couple of dead spots, but I did see it twice, so that does count for something. Despicable Me was fun and I liked Steve Carell's V.O. work. The Crazies was not at all what I expected it to be, but in a good way. It would have likely ranked even higher, but there were a couple of holes that I just couldn't get around. Get Him to the Greek ranked WAY higher than I would have guessed before I saw it. Maybe I was of the mood to enjoy a good movie, being all alone in Minneapolis, but I thought it had a lot of heart, actually.

3rd Tier (aka: Wait.. Did I see that movie?)
Knight and Day, Predators, Prince of Persia, Alice in Wonderland, The Wolfman, The Lovely Bones

The title pretty much says it all... I basically have no feelings about any of these.. They all had good parts and dumb parts and in 5 years I'll have to struggle to recall any details or even if I've seen it all. Every time I look at this list I remember that I saw The Lovely Bones. I also remember that I think I'd like to read the book.

4th Tier (aka: I Fucking HATE this movie, even if it's not the objectively worst thing I've seen).
Twilight: Eclipse, and Hot Tub Time Machine

I wrote a whole blog about what was wrong with Twilight and I tried 3 times to write about what was wrong with Hot Tub Time Machine. I can't rank them at the bottom, because I don't think any movie that makes me have the kind of virulent hatred for it has to be doing SOMETHING.

5th Tier (aka: I honestly don't recall this movie.)
Cop Out, and Percy Jackson... Lightning Thief

I believe this was a Kevin Smith movie. There are some people in it that we've seen. I think. I dunno.

6th Tier (aka: Um... Not good at all)
When in Rome, Leap Year, Daybreakers

2 Rom-Coms and the most disappointing movie about actual vampires to come out this year (as opposed to Twilight, which isn't about actual vampires). The Rom Coms aren't bad simply because they are rom-coms. I like good Rom-Coms. In fact, I didn't actually hate either of these movies, but to say they were enjoyable or... good... in any way would be a lie. Daybreakers is... I remember being really annoyed by the whole business. And finding it implausible. When you find a vampire movie to be "too implausible". You know that's a problem.

7th Tier (aka: The Worst Movie I've Seen All Year)
The Bounty Hunter

I mean... It's the only movie I wish I'd not seen at all. It just makes me so sad that The Tofu Muchacha and I spent actual money to watch this. It's so fucking bad. Gerard Butler has ruined at least 2 movies that I've seen. Jennifer Aniston's fame remains completely baffling to me. The whole business just sucked.

After looking at the tiers, I think I can live with the list as it is. Seems pretty solid.

What do you think? You guys seen any of these?

A Disney Decade

Here I am at the Magic Kingdom. Just because.
In keeping with my looking back at the Aughts, I don't think I could let the opportunity pass by to rank the Disney Animated Films that came out from 2000 to 2009.

So, here it is... my list, from worst to best, of the Disney Animated Films of the Aughts.


18. Chicken Little
Sorry Zach Braff... You know it's bad when you go to the parks around the time of the release and there's no sign of any merchandise. When the company itself thinks it's no good, that pretty much tells you all you need to know. If you can take anything else from this ranking, keep in mind that I own most Disney movies on DVD, and this is not one of them. I didn't get a chance to see it in the theaters, and I've barely been able to sit through it on TV. Not good coming from a notorious Disney apologist.


17. Home on the Range
This is the other film on the list that I actively dislike.. The rest, from 16 to 1 all have good things about them. This movie? I can't really think of anything. In fact, I guess the best way to reason my ranking of this movie at this place in the countdown is that I KNOW I've seen it, but I can't remember a single thing about it. Not one. I don't recall who did the voices. I don't recall the plot. I know there are cows and chickens involved. That's about it.


16. Treasure Planet
Probably the most glaring issue of this movie is that it was obviously trying too hard to capture some sort of "Hi Tech" kind of feel. What's interesting is that I think the movie, with the same animators, would have been far more successful if they'd done a more traditional take on the the Treasure Island story. The hand drawn animation is really excellent overall, and the integration of some of the computer done stuff was really cool. Long John Silver is a great villain, and really deserved better. I just think that Disney got caught up in trying to tap into some sort of space-craze thing (Star Wars was back t being hot). This movie came out in November of 2002, and I think would have been better as a traditional pirate story (as evidenced by the success of Pirates of the Caribbean 7 months later.). It's actually vaguely Steam-Punk, which I love a lot more now than I did then. Maybe I should revisit.


15. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Atlantis isn't bad at all. Just kind of got lost in a sort of dark ages for Disney Animation. Tarzan was excellent, but the next few weren't particularly memorable. The animation in this movie is really cool, though, and the story is solid. I think Disney goes off the rails a little when they attempt to include minorities or different ethnicities when the story doesn't expressly call for it. I'm not saying they shouldn't do that... I'm just saying that it seems that many of the times they've attempted it, it's come across as clumsy. Still... I liked this one enough to use it as the subject in my Musical Theater writing class my senior year of college. We were supposed to take a non-musical movie and write an adaptation that includes music. I got an A.


14. Dinosaur
I'm not really a huge fan of this movie, but it definitely wins points from me due to the ride at Disney World that was refurbished to incorporate it. I really like the ride. The movie is pretty standard "Our World is Coming to an End" movie, and it's sad and kind of hopeless, since...you know...the dinosaurs all died. I think this one also falls into the "trying too hard" mold. This time with the Global Warming allegories and whatnot. Still and all, some pretty good action sequences with the Carnataurs and dinosaurs are always cool.


13. Brother Bear
Now... I actually really like this movie. It was sort of dismissed at the time as another pay-homage-to-the-Native-Americans story, but I didn't really get that. I mean... there was some vaguely antiquated mysticism involved, and it's not THE BEST movie ever, but the animation is really, really cool. The characters are pretty memorable as well. I especially liked the Strange-Brew Moose. It's cheap, but funny. The only reason it gets any points off is that the story isn't exactly original. In fact... Avatar is pretty much the same. And Pocahontas. And Dances with Wolves. It's... not important. They did it well here. It's about here where the rankings are more simply degrees of awesome.


12. Fantasia 2000
I only put it down this low because it's not a movie I'd wanna watch over and over. The animation is beautiful. The music is very powerful. It's excellently done. It also was a pet project of Roy E. Disney (the guy who passed away last month, and who still deserves his own blog). The visuals of a few of the pieces are incredible. I'm especially fond of the Rhapsody in Blue piece that is styled like Al Hirschfeld's art. I like it a lot. Again... this only loses points due to it's lower re-watchability. (I would also be remiss if I didn't mention that the premier was in December of 1999, whereas the actual release was Jan 1st, 2000....so I'm counting it.)


11. The Emperor's New Groove
This movie has some absolutely hilarious moments in it, and I love the voice work of Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, and Eartha Kitt... If David Spade was even close to the same ball-park, I think it may vault it into the top 7 or 8. I really like the look of it, and I kind of enjoy the take on the story. I wish they hadn't pandered and tried to "hip" it up. I sometimes look at the title and think... does this title make you think this movie belongs in the pantheon of great films in the Disney vault? Man...the title kills me.


10. Meet the Robinsons
I really like Meet the Robinsons. It's got great themes (originally from Walt Disney himself) "Keep Moving Forward" is one of Walt Disney's own quotes, and works well in this movie that straddles the present and future... The animation is cool, though not quite as smooth as the Pixar movies that come later in the list. There aren't a ton of memorable characters, too, which loses some points. It DOES have one of the most hilarious, and ultimately sympathetic villains I can think of, and I love me a good villain. In the end, this is a really solid movie, and one I would watch were it on cable. It possibly loses points since the ulimate villain is an evil hat. That's kinda weird. It falls here on the list, because head-to-head if I'm picking one DVD to pop in, this doesn't beat any of the next 9. Doesn't take away from it at all though.


9. Cars
My least favorite of the Disney/Pixar collaborations. I liked it. I think the animation is cool. But really... not in the same class, emotionally, as any of the films made around it. It's good...don't get me wrong. It's very good. The voice acting of Paul Newman especially is excellent. I really like the sort of vaguely deco, automobile themed landscaping and theming throughout. It's the details like that that keep this movie in the top 10. I don't find the story all that interesting. It's another twist on the Avatar, Pocahontas, Brother Bear, Dances With Wolves story... Still, Pixar most shines in the details, and this movie isn't any different.


8. Bolt
I saw this movie last Winter when I was visiting my fam in Denver, and I wasn't expecting much from it. I typically dislike John Travolta pretty supremely. I'm not a huge Miley Cyrus fan. It just seemed kinda dumb. Well... I was totally wrong. You may even remember that I blogged about it at the time. This movie was essentially made as great as it was by being a vehicle for a great travel-venture story combined with one of the most memorable sidekicks in any Disney movie ever. In fact, I was sorely disappointed there wasn't more Rhino the Hamster merchandise at the parks during my last 2 visits. I think a Rhino-in-his-Ball themed ride would be effing sweet. I even liked Travolta more than I have in years. I also really liked the twists on the story, and Bolts progression as a character. Good stuff.


7. Ratatouille
First, let me say that Patton Oswalt is effing awesome, and his voice is made for animation. It's extremely expressive and he does an excellent job. There are some legitimately awesome sequences in this movie. The whole portion of the movie where Remy learned to "drive" Linguini. The excellent chase scene through the kitchen at the beginning. I also really love the heart of the film...the dissing of snobbery in any form. I also find their less-than-subtle nod to the dirty side of commercialization and marketing. The whole globalized marketing of Gusteau's Microwavable meals. It feels like a sort of self-acknowledgment to me. Anyway, there are some great moments, and with the subject matter being "Cooking", this one will always be a winner to me.


6. Wall-E
I know it's blasphemy to list this any lower than 2nd, as it was deemed worthy of Best Picture and whatnot, and I agree.. it was definitely worthy of Best Picture. Of course, so were, in my opinion, the rest of the movies ahead of it on the list, so... In any case, this is a truly excellent movie, and could easily have been higher on the list, but again it came down to me thinking if I could watch any of them at any time, what would I pick. This lands about here. Usually I can point to voice work, but since this movie is largely beeping and booping and whatnot, I can't in this case, which probably makes it even more special. The first 30 minutes are incredibly engaging for having essentially no dialogue. The notion that society will lazify over time is an interesting one to explore, and I love the whole sequence on the cruise ship. I take off MINOR points for 2 things; 1) I don't love Hello Dolly, so it's hard to hear it over and over. and 2) The rip-off of 2001 with the whole machine taking over...thing. I don't love that.


5. Monsters Inc.
Just an excellent movie from start to finish. This was the first of the Pixar movies where the animation really just absolutely shocked me. I loved A Bug's Life's visuals too, but Sully's fur in Monsters Inc is truly amazing to watch throughout. That's a minor thing in the grand scheme, but I'll never forget it, and I think that's really the hallmark of a great film. Something new. The plot is excellent too, if not a little tiny bit simplistic. The door chase scene is one of the most incredible animated sequences ever, and really does one of the coolest things in film, which is executing "camera moves" that a real camera would never be able to do. I hate it when animation doesn't take advantage of that. This movie does. The team of Sully and Mike is excellent comically, and Randall is one of the creepiest villains in all of Disney-dom. Love this movie.


4. Lilo and Stitch
The greatest non-Pixar Disney movie of the decade. It's just so elegantly drawn, and the character designs are so neat. I love the music, and I love the characterizations. It's an awesome movie. Of course, the real reason this movie is where it is on the list boils down to one word: Stitch. Stitch is one of the most awesome, hilarious, bad ass characters Disney has ever created. There's a reason he is consistently the most popular character in the Disney universe. Surpassing Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. He combines the great elements of each. He's got Mickey's heart. (Just try to sit through the "Ohana means Family" scene without choking up. ) Goofy's well... goofiness. And Donald's ability to turn on a dime (not to mention sputter and blabber with the best of them.) He's an excellent character, and I'd watch it for just that reason alone.


3. The Incredibles
Not much I can say about this movie that I didn't say earlier in the week with my top 20 movies of the decade list. The voices are excellent. The characters are really fun. ( I especially love the punny names for the villains. I don't know why I always love puns so much, but I do. The best of the bunch? Underminer the mole-like villain voiced by Pixar fixture John Ratzenberger. ) The story is tight, and emotional. It deals with themes such as the embracing of mediocrity, and the malaise associated with getting older. I also love the look of this movie, with it's extremely stylized shapes and visuals. I love that the animators made a choice to look different. I like the angles. It's got a very late Art-Deco look to it. Like something from the Early 50s.. like the production art from the 1964 World's Fair or something.


2. Up
We're all going to be "Up"ed out soon enough, since with an expanded Best Picture field starting this year at the Oscars, it will be a shock if it's not nominated. Certainly it deserves that kind of attention, even if just because of the elegant and beautiful opening sequence of the film that, after checking last week, still packs a pretty emotional punch. I'd venture to say even more so upon second viewing. It's just so perfectly done, and I think congratulations to the creators for taking that kind of chance in a medium that has long been reserved for children. That sequence was certainly not designed for children alone, and that's ultimately what makes Up and Pixar's other movies so successful and critically acclaimed both. We've never seen, to this point at least, Pixar pandering to the lowest common denominator. This is why they'll stand the test of time... When a kid falls in love with a movie, they watch and watch and watch.. and then eventually they grow up and often the films don't grow up with them. Because Pixar (fully) and Disney (in its more successful films) provide layers of story telling that allows the film to grow with its audience.... that's how a film goes from a fad (Say... Kung Fu Panda) to a classic (Toy Story, Up, Little Mermaid, etc...). I seem to have gone off the rails, slightly... Up features some of the best pure visuals and storytelling of any Disney film... The characters are all fully realized, and the "talking dogs" bit is so funny and perfectly done I could watch a whole movie of the dogs going through their daily activities. Really an all-timer.


1. Finding Nemo
What is there even to say about Finding Nemo? Probably in my top 5 movies ever. It's the only animated movie I can think of where I wanted to watch it again right away. The animation is so superb that you forget you're even watching animation at all. There are at least 5 points where you sit back and try to figure out how they made that happen with computers... If you ever get the pleasure of watching the "Making of" you can just see how much care and time they spent getting every moment perfect. The voice casting is the best Disney/Pixar has ever done. Ellen Degeneres as Dory should have won some sort of special Oscar. The "speaking whale" sequence STILL cracks me up every time I see it. It's possible that my perception of this movie has been enhanced recently by the absolutely amazing Finding Nemo: The Musical at Disney World. I saw it when it first came out, and it's clear the kinks weren't out yet, because I wasn't really a fan. I saw it again in October, and have sort of become obsessed with it since. The Tofu Muchacha bought me the soundtrack (for her birthday...) and it's been a fixture in my CD player ever since. I realize I'm using outside influences to help make my rankings, but since it's my list, there's no rule against it. I think it says something for the story that it lends itself so easily to a really excellent musical. Ultimately it comes down to one thing... If I have all of these movies to choose from, but could only watch one, which would I watch? The answer was easier than I expected. It's Finding Nemo.

** NOTE 1**
I have not yet watched The Princess and the Frog, so it is currently unranked. Once I see it (hopefully soon), I'll post a brief editorial with an updated ranking.

** NOTE 2**
I am not including The Wild on the list as it's not technically a Disney-made movie. It was funded and distributed by Disney, but created by a separate entity.

Evil is their Middle Name

Hey Folks-

Welcome to another Wednesday with Walt.

What makes a great villain? I'd argue that there are several characteristics that define villainy, and today I'm going to determine in my own pseudo-scientific way the greatest of the Disney Villains...

First, the criteria:

1) Evilness. Clearly the most important characteristic in a villain's repertoire is their level of Evilness. If they aren't evil, it's arguable that they aren't even a villain at all.

2) Motive. Depending on the circumstance, a villain's motive for being the way they are may make them more or less villainous. Still... Motive, either way, is important.

3) Comic Relief. Normally, this isn't an important factor in a villain at all, but we're talking about Disney here, not Saw. These movies are satisfying for everyone, because they are designed for everyone.

4) Ability. A bumbling villain isn't an effective villain. The more capable they are, the more dangerous they are.

5) Evil Acts. A villain is ultimately judged by their most heinous acts. It's up to me to decide if 101 pretty evil acts is more or less heinous than 1 truly terrible act. So... here we go.

Now? The candidates...

Over the past week and a half, I've conducted an informal little Villains tournament. I'll be using the winner of each category (known as Fan's Choice) plus the 2nd place nominees in the 2 closest races.

Here we go...

Syndrome (The Incredibles)
Winner of the Pixar Villain Division.
Short Synopsis: Syndrome was a fan of Mr Incredible as a youngster, and was rebuffed by Mr. Incredible one to many times.
Evilness: Syndrome hated the notion of anyone being "Special" so he worked hard to kill any of the "Supers". Killing humans is a good way to earn points on the Evilness Scale. He also is guilty of kidnapping on several counts. Robbery too. He's pretty evil.
Motive: Syndrome is motivated by a childhood embarassment. He was humiliated by Mr. Incredible and decided that the best way to get even was to prove that his human-made gadgets could replace the powers of the Supers. He even plans to sell his inventions, because "When everyone's super, no one will be."
Comic Relief: Syndrome is funny, mostly in appearance. He's got clever dialogue that will appear to the adults in the audience, and his demise with Jack Jack is definitely hilarious, but for the most part, he's not particularly funny.
Ability: Syndrome has a ton of aptitude for villainy. He's been successful enough to get himself a giant private evil island. He was inventing rocket packs when he was a kid. He invented the Omnidroid, a veritable killing machine.
Evil Act: Syndrome unleashed the Omnidroid on Metroville in order to stop it himself, thus becoming the hero he'd always dreamed of being. Not really that evil. He killed some supers. Very evil. I'd give him a 6.5 out of 10.
Fan Factor:
SKULLS: 3 out of 5. He's all over it in Ability, Motive, and Evil, but he's not funny and his evil act is pretty weak overall.

Hopper (A Bug's Life)
Runner Up Pixar Villain Division
Short Synopsis: Hopper, the grasshopper, is the leader of a grasshopper hive... er...clan...or whatever. He's basically made the ant colony into his indentured servants. He requires them to gather grain and seeds to feed his group, most importantly at the expense of the ants, whom he terrorizes.
Evilness: Well... on an evil scale, terrorizing innocents is high on the list. Having slaves is also high. Enjoying having slaves is even higher. Hopper is not a nice dude in any way. He's cruel to his brother. He's cruel to the ants. He's cruel. Very evil.
Motive: His motive is a little weak, I'd say. He's basically evil just because he's bigger than the ants, and because he's lazy. He doesn't want to gather the grain himself (not that he would even if the grasshoppers were), so he's used his imposing strength and stature to enslave a whole colony. Not cool, but not some sort of higher evil purpose either.
Comic Relief: Hopper is NOT funny. Not at all. In fact, Annie (Who will hopefully be providing a Guest WWW column in 2 weeks) thinks he's too scary. I know for a fact his animatronic doppleganger at Disney World is absolutely terrifying to children. (which IS hilarious, but not the kind of comic relief I'm talking about.)
Ability: Also kinda low, to be honest. He's duped a couple of times by a rag-tag group of circus bugs. He's not brave. He's a bully, and that's pretty much it. An effective one, but just a bully.
Evil Acts: Again... Slavery is pretty evil. If you have to pick one especially bad thing, he does try to strangle Flik at the end of the film before he's snatched up by a bird.
SKULLS: 3 out of 5. He's really mean and scary, but lacks a lot in the Motive and Comedy departments..


Ursula (The Little Mermaid)
Winner of the Hand-drawn Animated Female Villain Division
Short Synopsis: She's a creature known as a cecealia, or Sea Witch, who lives under the sea (har har) and basically acts as a "Devil" of sorts. She magically gives mer-people their desires in exchange for their souls.
Evil: Well, first off, she steals people's souls in sucker deals. Not cool. She's deceptive. She really, and I mean really hates King Triton (and by extension his offspring). She's got no qualms about killing, lying, cheating or doing whatever she needs to do in order to get her way.
Motive: Her motive is very similar to Malificent's (who came in last in the poll). She was once part of the kingdom, but was banished by King Triton (For unspecified reasons). Her entire purpose in life is to get revenge on King Triton and the Mer-world. Her biggest catch would be the soul of Ariel, Triton's daughter (and the title character).
Comic Relief: Ursula is truly an awesome character, and one of her strengths is the balance Disney found between her being pretty mean and evil and her being funny. She IS funny. Her song "Poor Unfortunate Souls" is full of puns and humor. Great stuff. Also her appearance was modeled after the famous Drag Queen, Divine. How could it not be funny?
Ability: She's a pretty adept witch. Over the course of the movie, she makes Ariel a human. She makes herself a human. She steals Ariels voice. She makes herself a giant. She creates a huge storm. Basically, she's got skillz.
Evil Act: Hard to pick just one, so I'm actually gonna go with her general enjoyment in setting the mer-people up to fail in order to get their souls.
SKULLS: Ursula gets a solid 4.5 out of 5. She's evil, funny, able, and has performed the deeds to back them up. The one downfall is that I think she's maybe her mark (Ariel) is a little too easy. A gullible teen, essentially.


Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmations)
Runner up Hand-drawn Animated Female Villain Division
Short Synopsis: A rich old woman who wants to turn dalmation puppies into a fur coat. That's...about it.
Evilness: Well... She wants to kill puppies for her own fashion-forwardness. That's pretty bad. Also not entirely different than your average dog-eating person in real life. It's only evil because we westerners have made dogs into something more than cows. I dunno.. obviously, I'd prefer for her to not kill puppies.
Motives: Fashion? Eh... I dunno. It's lame.
Comic Relief: Well, she's not particularly funny either. She has Horace and Jasper as her sidekicks, and they are pretty funny, but she's probably the most...absentee of all the villains in this poll. Not there much= not funny much.
Ability: Well... Um... She drives like a maniac, but she also wrecks them. She's fairly intelligent, I suppose, but more manipulative than anything.
Evil Acts: Again... she PLANS to kill some puppies for coat-making purposes. That's about it.
SKULLS: 1 out of 5. I honestly think Cruella wouldn't even be this beloved if not for the animation itself. She's mostly along for the ride.



Scar (The Lion King)
Winner Hand Drawn Animated Animal Villain Division
Short Synopsis: A character modeled after Claudius from Hamlet. He's the brother of the king, he plots to kill the king and succeeds. He takes over the kingdom.
Evil: Gotta say... Killing your benevolent brother who cares about you more than you deserve is pretty evil. Pinning it on your innocent nephew? Really evil. Making an unholy alliance with Hyenas? Just plain evil.
Motives: Weak, I'd say. He wants to be king. It wasn't good enough being the well fed brother of the king. That's pretty much it. Simple jealousy. Kinda boring.
Comic Relief: Some would say that Scar isn't funny, but his lines and Jeremy Irons' delivery are both so perfect. I think he's hilarious. I especially love his dry dealings with Simba and Zazu both.
Ability: Well, he's a great strategist (in the short term) but he's severely lacking in foresight, knowledge of the ecosystem (I mean...how in the hell did the Pridelands get so barren so fast? C'mon Scar!), and he's definitely not an adept fighter. Damn he's smart though.
Evil Act: The aforementioned murder/frame-up plan. Pretty much as evil as it gets.
SKULLS: 4 out of 5. Very evil. Very funny, but sort of lacking in the Motive department, I'd say.


Captain Hook (Peter Pan)
Winner of the Hand Drawn Animated Male Villain Division
Short Synopsis: A pirate captain, stranded in Neverland, who really hates him some non-growing up Peter Pan.
Evilness: Who hates kids? I mean... c'mon man! Actually... he's mostly just bored, and he just wants Peter to leave him the hell alone. Not that evil really... more crotchety. He does, on many occasions seriously try to kill a bunch of kids which is pretty evil, I'd say.
Motive: Again... boredom and the want to be left alone. Also, he's got himself this whole notion that as a pirate, he's obligated to act like a pirate. In this case, killing and pillaging.
Comic Relief: Here's where Hook takes it over them all. He's funny because he's got that dual quality of being both mean and a pretty big coward. He's hilariously terrified of Tic Tock Croc (not that you can blame him). He's a dandy. He's a fop. He's the archetype of several different comic antagonists
Ability: He's obviously got some pirating skills, as he's been the captain of a pirate ship (without mutiny) for what can only be many, many years. He is a manipulator, and he's educated, and he's not a bad swordsman...especially for having just the one hand.
Evil Acts: Probably his worst act was either trying to bomb Peter (and at the same time loop-holing Tinkerbelle in the process) or the many, many times he tries in earnest to kill Peter, the Lost Boys, Wendy, Smee...Everyone.
SKULLS: Well.. He gets a 4 out of 5. The Motive is weak, at best. The comedy is as high as it gets, though, and really I think he's got a lot of evil in him. It takes someone evil to choose piracy to begin with.

So... based on this, Ursula The Sea Witch comes out on top. I'm a little surprised. I expected Hook to coast to a victory. I was tempted to add criteria to make it end up that way, but that would be an empty victory. I can say that Hook won his poll by the largest margin, so I can have that little victory.

In any case, he may not be the best on paper, but to me he's second to none.

Until next time.