You're Fucking Kidding, Right?

Look. I'm not one to belabor a point. I'll wait til you stop laughing.

Many of you will remember my previous entries on the subject of political bumper stickers generally, and MY own political bumper sticker specifically. I believe that I have made my stance on "Anti" Obama stickers very clear. I also believe that I have made my stance on the harassment of someone solely based on their BUMPER STICKERS very clear. To summarize:
Anti-Obama Stickers = Pointless, sad, (and possibly racist) Sticker Harassment = Pointless, weird, creepy.
Okay... so now that we have that out of the way, let me just say.

You Obama-hating mother fuckers have gone too far.

I have been violated. I have been vandalized. I am really fucking mad.

This evening, the Tofu Muchacha and I went to a nice dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant, and then headed to the grocery store. Both of these took place in what is essentially our extended neighborhood. The place we call home. I mean... I already am feeling all jumbled up about my own home because of the terror of the cats, but that's for another blog altogether.

So anyway, we come out of the grocery store and the TM says "Obama's Gone!"

I wasn't sure what she meant at first, because it's not a thing you can just understand out of context, but then I looked at my car and noted that the notorious Obama/Biden sticker was GONE.

No more Obama Dog. That's what my friend Colette dubbed my car because of the 2 stickers. You can see the 2nd one still in the picture above. The Obama sticker stuck opposite the key hole from the dog sticker.

Now, if you've ever seen or touched a bumper sticker, you'll know that there's no fucking way that thing just fell off. Sticker properties notwithstanding, I've also checked on it relatively regularly ever since I started really thinking about how pissed people seem to get about it. Never once did it even demonstrate a loose corner.

That leads me to only one conclusion. Some mother fucker robbed it. Or at least peeled it off and discarded it.

This is not acceptable.

I'm sorry, but I don't care if my sticker was of a throbbing open sore. I don't care if it was a picture of a murder. Going up to a stranger's car and removing an item is nothing more than theft. This goes back to the whole "leave the stranger alone, because the stranger might be crazier than you" thing. What if I'd come out and seen this person violating my car, and I was all... "You know... I was planning on bludgeoning someone at the Walmart later, but whatever... they'll do."

Or maybe more realistically, what if I just called the cops. What you've done is illegal! You've vandalized my car. You've damaged my property.

You've also made whatever point you feel like you're making, but it has had the absolute opposite effect of your intent. While I'm unlikely to be swayed toward your ridiculous, close-minded, tea-party nonsense anyway, now I not only completely disagree with that self-same close-minded, ridiculous, tea-party nonsense, but... I also want to add "irrational and a whole lot creepy".

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I don't like Sarah Palin, but I don't go scrawling "idiot" on all the SARAH! stickers no matter how much I want to. I might call her an idioton my blog, but that's just a thing people say on their blogs. I have no real support for that (aside from the idiocy), but the point is... it's my blog. I can say that. I can say anything I want. But I can't say it ON someone elses' personal property.

Am I weird to feel like I want to go the opposite way now? I was totally down with just having my quiet little Obama sticker (a replacement has been ordered already, so SUCK IT!).

But now... I dunno. I think I want to really make a statement. Here are the stickers I'm considering:









See? Now those are making a statement. Funny as hell, and clearly taking a position. You can't come back from any of these. You are clearly who you are. All I had was a simple "OBAMA/BIDEN" sticker. Not now.

I'm taking suggestions. The best Liberal bumper sticker goes on my car. Right next to my replacement Obama /Biden sticker.

Lasers and the War of Northern Aggression

A couple weeks ago, the Tofu Muchacha had a "work thing" in Atlanta which ended on a Thursday. For whatever reason, we both concluded that this was a good opportunity for me to take a couple of days off and join her in the hot, muggy South for a few days of exploration.

I'd say that aside from likely permanant crippling at the hands of Raccoon Mountain, it was a delightful time full of beautiful scenery (you know all those signs as you're driving South on I-75 through Tennessee that say "See Rock City"? Well... you really should. It's pretty beautiful... in fact, oh... what the heck:
Cool, huh?

Anyway, we spent some time in Chattanooga, and then headed back South toward Atlanta with a slight veer to the East and stopped at Stone Mountain. It's hard to explain Stone Mountain, really...

On the one hand, it's this kind of amazing natural landmark. It's this giant-ass rock, really. Which doesn't sound all that interesting, but believe me.... Go stand next to an 850 foot rock some time, and tell me that shit doesn't blow your mind. It's FIVE MILES around. There's also this kind of incredible complex of trails and campgrounds and man-made lakes. There's the quarry where all of this awesome granite was... um... quarried for decades. It's really a beautiful place.

We get there, and we see also that you can ride this gondola up to the top of the giant rock (by "gondola" I mean this big almost train-car sized box that can accommodate probably close to 40 people at once.

So... We're riding the first car of the day up to the top, and over to the right side of the car (facing the mountain) is this HUGE relief sculpture carved into the side of the rock. I don't want to exaggerate this, but it's fucking big. And to myself I'm thinking "Weird... why do they have this sculpture of conquistadors carved into this mountain in Georgia."

My mental question was quickly answered, though, as the "Conductor" started his bit giving out info and trivial tidbits about things, and he says:

"Folks, if you'll look over, you'll get a great view of Civil War Heroes Robert E. Lee, Jefferson David, and Stonewall Jackson."

WHHHAAAAAA???

That's right. I unwittingly found myself at the fucking Confederate Mt. Rushmore. (Alternatively called "The Redneck Mt. Rushmore")
So yeah.. this is the view from the gondola, and there's the fucking "conquistators" who ended up being just this grand monument to racism and war.

Just fucking great.

So, you know... the rest of my day was sort of clouded by this odd realization that all of this money, and all of this energy was put toward the glorification of the wrong side of the Civil War. The place has a "Confederate Memorial Hall", for Dog's sake. Did you know this was the most visited single attraction in Georgia?

On the one hand, I get it.. you've got this incredible place that features views like this:

On the other hand, if you look closely at that picture, you'll see this long lawn area and a really beautiful old building there at the end of it? That's the fucking confederate hall. It's like they reel you in with this amazing place, and then they remind you how the whole thing is all about how bummed everyone is that there ain't no slaves no more.

The worst part... well... one of the worst parts is how popular the place seems to be among minorities. It was so eerie! One of the most racist, horrible places I've ever been was also one of the most diverse.

You'll ask me.. "How can it be all bad if there are so many minorities enjoying the place?"

I thought about this for a long time, and I think it's actually this that makes me feel like it's a totally irredeemable place. If they had just been all "Hell Yeah! Fuck you Yanks! Let's hear about the War of Northern Aggression!!! YEeeeeeeeee Hawww" well... I think this would have been better. Not good, certainly, but more honest at least.

Instead, we have this neutered little theme park with train rides and games and 4-D movies that all sort of pay only the tiniest bit of attention to the main point, and focuses instead on the glittery, shiny things all around the main point. They have this huge gravestone, essentially, even down to the granite relief carving, and it's honoring the men who are symbols for the last stand of the pro-slavery movement. The succession movement. These men aren't heroes. It's the same as honoring Mussolini or Franco after they'd been deposed. Didn't the Italian people drag Mussolini through the streets on a pig hook? They sure as hell didn't carve his face into the side of Mt. Vesuvius.

So it's this cute little friendly racism that is all "in the past", so now it's adorable instead of deplorable. It made me feel gross..

Of course, nothing made me feel more gross than the famous daily occurance...

The Mother Effing Laser Show.

That's right. At 9:30 every night these fools put on a laser lights show that talks all about Confederate history or whatever. Apparently I'm not the only person ever to think maybe the place lacks a little taste, because I've read that they added mention of Martin Luther King to bow to the rage of this small group of protesters.

I'm not a huge fan of laser shows or fireworks or whatever anyway, because I dislike crowds, but it would have barely mattered. We moseyed on down from our dinner (At the "Plantation" or something like that) about 90 minutes before the start of the lasers, and we saw this:

This was 90 minutes before the damned show. (Yes... they project the lasers right on The Redneck Rushmore itself).

We didn't stay for the lasers.

Look... I don't have anything else to say... Isn't it obvious anyway?

I'm sorry... am I wrong to be grossed out by this place? Am I wrong to wish they'd just left it this beautiful natural wonder and state park?

Next time: Indulging our Cats

A Triumphant Return!

The Tofu Muchacha and I have made our Disney World reservations for our next visit. It's still a long way away.... 4 more months. So long that I'm almost embarrased to be as excited for it as I am. It would be like an 8 year old being excited for their wedding.

I've promised myself to be a little staid in regards to my Disney Trip blogs until the trip gets closer, but in honor of our wonderful, upcoming travels to The Happiest Place on Earth, I've decided to a list of my top 5 favorite restaurants at Disney World (a topic requested by The Tofu Muchacha, who is WAY more excited about the trip than she is letting on.)

So, here we go... Instead of ranking them, I'm going to give you my winner in each of five categories.

The Beefy Muchacho's Five Favorite Disney World Restaurants:

Favorite Resort Restaurant:

Boma at The Animal Kingdom Lodge. I first tried this place kind of on a whim when I was in Orlando for work, and I turned my 1 day work thing into a 4 day trip to Disney. I was by myself, and didn't have a time-table, so I drove my rental car over to the newly opened Animal Kingdom Lodge. After wandering around for a while, I made my way down the stairs where the two restaurants, Jiko and Boma are located. I looked at the prices at Jiko, and headed right in to Boma. Boma is an African-cuisine inspired buffet, and it is really freakin' incredible. The food quality is comparable to a high-end buffet you'd find at The Bellagio or The Wynn in Vegas, and the food itself is really unique and really delicious. In fact, I've requested 3 recipes at Disney World ever, and 2 of them came from Boma. This delicious soup called Mulligatawny (which isn't just a joke on The Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld), and this peanut butter rice dish. Crazy good. It's good enough that I plan on enticing The TM to get over her anti-Buffet sentiments (if only for a night) and try it out. I haven't been there in a couple of visits.

Favorite Restaurant Theming (non-chain)

Sci-Fi Dine-in at Disney's Hollywood Studios. Let be honest... the food at the Sci-Fi Dine-in is mediocre. The burgers are good, but not great. The fries are good, but not great. The seating is odd, and the wait-times are legendarily bad. BUT... that doesn't take away from one of the coolest restaurant themes anywhere. You walk through the doors, and you're transported back into the 1950s Drive-in Culture. Your dinner tables are all situated inside of 1950s era cars. All of the seats face the movie screen, and the screen shows a long and amusing loop of the old, terrible sci-fi movie trailers of the time. The seats aren't particularly comfortable, but man, is that place fun to sit in for an hour, of the hot air, and sipping on truly average milkshake. I can tell you that I've visited it several times over my visits and not once has it been for the food. But it IS worth a visit. By the way, I had to make this a "non-chain" category, because The Rainforest Cafe wins every day.

Favorite Restaurant View

The Coral Reef at Epcot. While not exactly a traditional view, the scenery here is so spectacular that I had to count this as the best restaurant view in all of Walt Disney World. It's fairly unexpected when you walk in, as it just seems like you're going into this luminescent cavern. Cool sounding enough, I know... but it doesn't prepare you for the actual vista Disney lays out before you... A giant wall of glass, and beyond it an amazing, enormous aquarium of fish and coral and turtles and all kinds of amazing sea creatures. The dining room is laid out like one of those old school cabana clubs, with the tables lined up in semi circles around a proscenium stage, only instead of a stage there's this amazing fish tank. Maybe I was spoiled since my first visit ever to the Coral Reef featured this awesome view:

Favorite Place to Crash Without Reservations**

The Rainforest Cafe in Downtown Disney. Look... I've never made a secret about loving my Rainforest Cafe. It's a guilty pleasure, I know. But then, I think one of the things that has always made me go back is that while it's usually a total, freaky madhouse with hundreds of families all gorging themselves and lining up around the block to get a table, the Rainforest Cafe has this awesome bar under a giant mushroom (don't judge), and there are almost always seats to be had with no wait whatsoever. To give you an idea of how awesome that is... Disney lets you make dinner reservations 180 days in advance of your trip. I, being the totally insane lunatic I am, called on that exact date to make our reservations. This of course requires me to know exactly where we're going each day of the trip six months ahead of time, but there it is. So anyway, as I went through and made each of our reservations, I was able to get just about all of the ones I wanted, at the times I wanted. It was awesome. The ONLY restaurant that was fully booked up was the Rainforest Cafe at Downtown Disney. And yet, I did not fret. I knew I would be able to eat at my favorite chain restaurant of all time, thanks to that good old bar under that big-ass mushroom.


** The only caveat is that you really can't rely on this for more than 2 people, unless you're willing to sit apart.

Favorite Restaurant, Overall

This is a tough one. I have been so many times, and tried so many places. It's difficult to choose a single place that best sums up all of the things I look for in a Disney Restaurant. The food has to be good. The setting has to be unique. It has to evoke a memory or three that probably blurs my judgement a little.

All of the restaurants listed above could be contenders. Boma is an incredible place with incredible food, and I even have some great memories there. I've even requested recipies from there (and tried one, though it was difficult to follow). Sci-Fi is probably the most fun in terms of setting, but as I mentioned above, the food is just okay. Rainforest's food and theme are great, but I don't think I could really give the title to a chain, no matter how much I love it. The Coral Reef... probably has the best shot at the title... The food is great, the setting is beautiful, and maybe best of all, I spent my one and only visit there with my love, the amazing Tofu Muchacha. I can't deny that I'm tempted to call it the winner...

And maybe it's just that my all time favorite restaurant at Disney is the only one I can ever remember closing, but I may never have another Alfredo's. The now gone Italian place in Epcot that I spent some awesome times with Tofu Madrastra (Step mom), who may love Disney almost as much as me. It's a tough place to replace, and I don't know that a clear answer has shown itself yet.

So... I'm going to say that for now, my favorite is The San Angel Inn, located in the Mexico Pavilion at Epcot.

Kind of out of left field, right? Well...

Food: Outstanding. More authentic than almost any Mexican food that you'll find anywhere in America outside of the far South West, but not so authentic that you worry you're possibly eating roasted ant eggs or goat (though, goat is, admittedly, delicioso!).

Setting: Pretty much the most visually stunning of all the Epcot country pavilions, and the restaurant has the best seats for the view.

Memories: Well... It doesn't necessarily stand out more than The Coral Reef, but I gave it the victory in this category, because the TM and I love us some Mexican food. I have been thinking about writing reviews of local Mexican restaurants because we try so many.


Maybe my reasons are lame for this last one... I wonder if it's because in the end, I really am always holding out hope that the next visit to Disney will help me discover my new favorite place to replace good old Alfredo's.

Later this week (hopefully): The Best Unintentionally Scary Places at Disney World.

Legendary

This blog is not about these guys.

I've had this topic rolling around in my head for a month and a half, so here we go.

I saw Rent at the University of Cincinnati's College Conservatory of Music. (That's CCM to you and me).

My love and personal feelings about Rent are well documented on this blog, and in previous incarnations, so I was predisposed to loving it. Or maybe I wasn't? I think I wanted to love it, but I think that actual love was much less a given.

I certainly did find it moving, and beautiful, and full of heart. I was definitely weeping like a fucking baby through most of Act 2. I really did love it. It was one of those experiences where I wanted to commiserate with anyone and everyone about every little detail, so I started checking out the reviews, and...many of them just merely liked it, (but with reservations). Some of them didn't like it. I couldn't believe it! They said things about how the show wasn't gritty enough, or raw enough, or real enough or something. Clearly I disagreed, but I also started wondering if maybe the reaction was inevitable. Perhaps CCM saddled itself with an impossible task.

I start to think about how Rent, for many people of my generation, exists in this sort of otherworldly level of reverence... It's the signature musical of my formative years. It's like West Side Story for people who were teens in the late 50s, or Hair for kids from the early 70s. There have been very few musicals in history that have held the same importance for the people who saw it as Rent did during it's Broadway run. Hell... The Office just used "Seasons of Love" in the most recent episode.

Rent captured a particular part of our culture unlike any other theatre piece in my lifetime. Some may have been "better", but none were more iconic. Rent combined many of the ideals of the mid-Nineties artist life, and the still very, very real plight of the AIDS epidemic (three of the main characters have it). It also had the added publicity and notoriety of the extremely sad, tragic death of writer and composer Jonathan Larson, who died the night before opening.

Oh... and it's also, more than anything, beautiful and visceral and memorable.

Okay, so it's great and all those things I've talked about, but why did CCM have no chance?

Because, I believe that some things are, for many people, untouchable. You can't remake The Godfather. When an actor plays Colonel Jessup in the stage version of A Few Good Men, they have to be compared with Nicholson. People could make amazing covers of Yesterday, but it will never be The Beatles. In each of these cases, the public knowledge and sentiment for the original makes it impossible to truly be measured independently.

Every musical theatre nerd has a copy of the original cast recording of Rent. Every single one. You ask most buffs to name the actors in that cast, and they come up with them in short order. Quicker than any other show of the time. It's like naming the 76 Cincinnati Reds for a baseball fan.

Every Tom Collins singing "I'll Cover You" will be compared to Jesse L. Martin. The little inflections of every Roger and Mimi will be compared (usually negatively) to Adam Pascal and Daphne Rubin Vega's rendition of "Light My Candle". Idina Menzel is the gold standard for "Over the Moon". That's just the way it is.

I think Mia Gentile, who played Maureen at CCM, is better than Idina Menzel. I'm not forgetting who Idina Menzel is. It doesn't make that original, Tony winning performance, any less iconic or spectacular. It certainly doesn't diminish her performance as Elphaba in Wicked. But yeah... i said it. Mia Gentile can sing the ever-loving shit out of that music, is exceptionally well trained, and just rocked it from moment one.

Max Chernin's performance during "I'll Cover You" made me cry like a little tiny baby. This doesn't make that one track on disc 2 of the original cast recording any less worn out. I've had to replace my copy of Rent two times. This is owed in no small part to Jesse L. Martin's heartbreaking performance. That said.. If I remove my sentiment, Max absolutely crushes his performance, and no amount of nostalgia for singing that song along wtih Jesse L will change that.

I'm not saying that this was a better production than the original Broadway... What I'm saying is that I don't think people have the ability to separate their very personal feelings for this particularly personal show that means so much to so many of them.

The thing is, though... as great as that original production was, I wonder if maybe people haven't... I dunno... Made it even better in their heads. Is it possible that what people consider grit is really just Daphne Rubin Vega not being that great a singer? (OH, NO I DIDN'T!!) Is it possible that Adam Pascal really does kind of sound a little wooden, if you're listening real hard? (OH, YES I DID!).

The thing is... it doesn't matter. The original cast of Rent is untouchable. It's impossible to separate the Legend from the Reality anymore. So... Basically, no matter the artistry of the CCM production (or any other), the people who choose to view any new production in the kaleidoscope of the original can never be good enough. To be honest... I've seen Rent three times in Cincinnati, and this was the first where I actually thought that even someday the specter of the original could potentially be pushed enough aside to view it independently. The two tour productions I'd seen before were both good, but not great. Not productions I'd wanna see again.

I'd have gone to see CCM's show over and over.

Can anyone think of other untouchable performances or productions? Does Gus Van Whatshisface's remake of Psycho make you angry?

PS: Apparently I've mentioned Rent so much I have a tag for it.

The Mysterious Case of the Little Green Flecks

I'd planned on using Bugs Bunny as my lead image, but this was too effing adorable.

I made my triumphant return to my "Adventures in Baking" series last Sunday evening, and it certainly was an adventure.

First some background...

The Tofu Muchacha is currently in training for the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon on May 1st, and last Sunday I accompanied her on her 18 mile training run. By "Accompanied" I mean "drove to meet her every 6 miles to give her more water and moral support". It was fucking exhausting.

So once we got done, she went home and showered, and we ventured to breakfast, and planned the rest of our day. I'd had a sort of hankering for some baking lately, and we discussed any number of assorted things. I really wanted to make something that wasn't overly sweet, and maybe kind of spicy... but still a baked good.

The Muchacha suggested I bake cupcakes. For whatever reason I have this apathy for cupcakes. I just can't get into them. I know that they're simply small cakes, and there's really no other difference, but for some reason I just can't get behind them. I don't know why. In any case... At first, I sort of poo-pooed the cupcake idea.

And we went round and round about the different types of things I could bake. Ultimately, we settled on a spiced carrot cake. That had me at least marginally interested, because I'd never made carrot cake before, and I effing LOVE carrot cake.

I think the TM knows me pretty well, because she knew she had me hooked on the Carrot Cake plan, so she went ahead and suggested I make Carrot Cake CUPCAKES. And... I agreed. What else could I do? She's so purty and persuasive.



So off to the store I went, to pick up the necessities, and below I present my mis en place:

That's right. Actual carrots! Who knew? I don't know what I thought would be in there, but I admit that I was surprised I'd be shredding up real carrots. Some other notable things you may note: Crushed Pineapple! Cayenne Pepper (my own idea)! Chocolate Chips (also me). You can't really see it here, but there's also coconut that is to be folded into the cream cheese frosting. The pecans...well... also my idea, and you'll see about those. Oh... you'll also note... There's nothing green. This will become important.

I should tell you that the recipe called for nuts in the cake itself, and I'll just be honest with you... I don't like nuts that are baked into baked goods. that goes for cakes, brownies, cookies. Pretty much anything. You put a crunchy nut into a wet cake batter, and then you bake it, and that nut (while giving nice flavor) loses my favorite feature, the aforementioned crunchiness. So... out with the nuts. It called for a half-cup of them, and I put in a half cup of chocolate chips. That's what we, in the business, call "trading metal money for paper money".

I am pretty sure that whenever I bake, I make the TM totally insane. I tend to doubt myself, and start on a certain path and then it kind of feels wrong, so I then call on her guidance. After her 18 mile run (and no nap after), she wasn't in much of a mood to do much assisting, so there were... ehm.... errors along the way.

The first thing the recipe told me to do was to grease and flour the pan. The TM had shown me a good method of greasing the pan during another adventure, so that was no problem, but I had not a clue how much flour to use. I didn't even know that was done! I mean... I knew for things like rolling boards and whatnot, but for cupcake pans? Not a clue. Of course, this wouldn't have been an issue if I'd wanted to use those dumb paper things, but I hate those, so fuck that. Here's what the pan ended up looking like:



I bet you thought it'd be absolutely covered in flour, didn't you? Well... I went the other direction. More on that later too...

Most of the recipe was pretty standard. Mix the wet ingredients together:



Two Eggs, Two Cups of Sugar, One cup of oil, and two teaspoons of vanilla. I may or may not have accidentally spilled maybe an extra teaspoon of vanilla in there. I didn't take a picture of the mixed wet ingredients, because... it looked gross.



Two cups of flour, two teaspoons of baking soda** , some salt, some cinnamon, and some cayenne pepper. I know... maybe I go to the Cayenne well a little too often with my baking, but damnit.. I love a tiny amount of heat to go with the sweet. I've never had it fail me. In this case, I probably didn't even put enough in to be noticeable.



** The above photo shows the difference between a Tablespoon and a teaspoon. You know how some people need to hold up their thumb and index finger in the shape of an L to remember their left and right. I need to do something to keep these mother fuckers straight... Because... that's right... There was likely a Tablespoon of baking soda in the cake mix, not two teaspoons. Fortunately, I caught myself after the first Tablespoon, or it would have really been a mess. O would it? I honestly, don't know what baking soda does. So... after all that fun, I went ahead and mixed the wet and dry together, just like they say, and it came out looking pretty, pretty dry.



I hoped that the the raisins, chocolate chips, carrots, and pineapple would wetten (is that a word? Is it "whetten"?) the batter up a bit. So I shredded up the carrots... there's a picture, but I bet you all know what shredded carrots look like, and mixed it all up. The recipe called for me to drain the crushed pineapple before mixing it, but I'm really glad I reserved the juice (at the suggestion of the TM), because before I added that in, that shit was dry. Like... "There's no way this is a cake batter" dry. Like... dry enough for the TM to say "yeah... that's not right.". Fortunately, I did save the juice and it ended up looking okay:



Doesn't that look delicious? I filled the tins (a little unevenly, I admit), and set the oven for 350 degrees, and let them bake for 24 minutes while I made the frosting and special topping. Here's what it looked like in the pan:



The TM asks that you focus on the cupcakes and not the oven.

So while that was going, I started working on the icing. If I do say so myself, I make a mean icing, and I'm much more confident in that, than I am my actual batters... This one was easy. Two cups of powdered sugar, one package of cream cheese, 6 TABLEspoons of butter, some vanilla, and a cup of coconut.



Here's a completely self-explanatory picture.

I've been experimenting with candying nuts. It started back in January when the TM candied some pecans to put on this delicious salad we took to a dinner party. I have since made a couple of batches of candied almonds and a batch of candied pecans, using various mixes of sugar, salt, and spices. I wanted to add my own little twist to the cupcake recipe, so I decided to candy some pecans, chop them up, and sprinkle them on the top of the cupcakes (You know... to make them look pretty.) This is not in opposition to my previous comment on nuts, because while the baking process makes them lose their crunch, the candying process makes them crunchier. (and covered in sugar). This time, out of necessity, I used brown sugar:



It ended up getting hot much quicker than white sugar, and I almost burned the hell out of them, but they came out pretty much like usual. I didn't salt them, or add other spices, because I wanted to keep them simple. Let me just say... there's nothing like a sweet, sugary nut in your mouth.... uh... that came out wrong. The nuts cooled quickly on a sheet of Pam'ed aluminum foil, and then I chopped them up.




Round this same time, the cupcakes themselves were done, and I popped them out of the oven.



I may have over baked them juuuuust a little, but they definitely looked pretty. The part that spilled up over the edge was sweet and crunchy and pretty delicious. Of course, the part after I took the pan out of the oven was the worst part of all.. I had to wait for them to cool.

The TM will tell you that of all of my negative traits, my worst is impatience. I probably checked those damned muffins 40 times to see if they were cool enough. Once they were, I popped the fuckers out and let them finish cooling on the racks.



This is where that little bit about now knowing how much to flour I needed to put in the cupcake pan comes into play. All of those chocolate chips sank to the bottom of the cups and were a bitch to get out. I bet I lost about a quarter of the chocolate chips to the bottom of the pan. Clearly, I should have added more flour. They don't look real pretty around the edges, but how bout that color?

So down the home stretch, I slathered some frosting all over the top of each cupcake, and sprinkled some nuts on top of that, and they came out looking pretty delicious, in a rustic sort of way...



And yes... they really were delicious. I had a ton of batter left over, but didn't feel like going through the full process of baking, cooling, and frosting another dozen, so the TM poured the remainder into a cake pan, and made a one layer cake. I gave the same treatment to the top, and she took it to her show to feed the cast on Opening night.

Here's where it gets weird.

On Friday evening, she called me from the show and said " Everyone likes your cake, but we're dying to know... What are the little green flecks?"

And I sat there, and couldn't figure out what the hell she was talking about. I wracked my brain trying to think of something green that might have made its way into the batter, but there's nothing.

Despite the fact that I put nothing green into the batter, and nothing green into the frosting, there were green flecks all throughout the cake.

I never noticed them, personally, but the TM said she'd seen them in the cupcakes as well, and that they were there from the start... At least that should eliminate the possibility of some sort of aggressive mold. The only thing that we can think of is that there may have been some sort of chemical reaction with the pineapple, or maybe I didn't do a good enough job cutting the green ends off the carrots. I honestly can't figure it out... Do any of you, my loyal readers, have an idea of what it could be?

Some last thoughts on the Carrot Cake Cupcake Adventure...

1) I added cayenne, but I couldn't taste it. Maybe someone with a more developed palate than mine would be able to taste it. So I think I'll leave it out the next time. They came out pretty well.

2) The chocolate chips were good, but not great. I think I would use smaller ones next time.

3) I think I would use dried cranberries instead of raisins the next time. I liked the raisins, but I think the tart cranberries would be interesting with the uber-sweet frosting.

4) Speaking of the frosting... I used sweetened coconut. Was that wrong? Should I have used unsweetened?

Until next time, this has been The Beefy Muchacho's Adventures in Baking!