Friday, October 30, 2009

I'm sure those pictures will be greeeeattt.


It's my nature to complain, as you've probably discovered. Even in the greatest experiences I'll have things with which I will take issue.

My trip to Disney World was fucking fabulous. Lovely lady at my side, great weather, generally light crowds. It was awesome. That said, I still have shit to bitch about. Allow me to list them.

Here they are, my Top 5 Biggest Complaints about Disney World, October 2009:

Most of these fall under the heading "There are other people here too, Douchebag."

1) Row-Hogs.
There are many, many attractions at Disney that are held in theater type environments. Monsters Inc, Little Mermaid, Mickey's Philharmagic, It's Tough to be a Bug just to name a few. Each and every one of them has been specifically designed to offer great views from every seat in the house. Disney has made a point to make sure that anyone waiting in line on a hot July day in Florida will think the wait was worth it when the show is over. So why... WHY do dozens of jerkfaces insist on stopping at the fucking middle of the row as they enter. They can hear the cast members asking them to move to the end of the row. They can see the throngs of people pushing forward. They force people to step past them and to climb over them or to just not get a seat because they refuse to follow this simple rule of society. They just pretend to not understand English. I'm serious. I'm not being xenophobic here. I've seen this happen. I mean... if you care that fucking much about where you're sitting, don't be the first person in the theater you fucking asshole.

2) Those chains aren't for my special child.
I saw this more on this trip than ever before, but there are loads of people who are willing to send their grubby little children sneaking under the chains or over the hedges or under the ropes in order to score that one precious photo that will show their kid as the gunner on some cannon (Pirates of the Caribbean) or that delightful snapshot of their kid swimming in the shrubs with Nemo or whatever else. I know this is sort of a grumpy-old-man thing to complain about, but that chain is there for a reason. Disney creates these ornate queue lines for more visually interesting waits, not so your gross little offspring can get the one special shot that will finally portray him or her as something other than the satan spawn they are. Plus, it holds up the fucking line.

Speaking of...

3) Y'all are just gonna have to wait. Junior's being cute.
Listen... I've taken pictures in a queue line before. There are some amazing things in those lines. But here's the thing. I've never stopped the goddamned line and made people wait while I took that picture. I saw people posing for multiple pictures at a time, blockading the queue line behind them to the point where at least 20 people could fit in the ever growing gap in front of them. It's one thing to take a picture, that happens, but let people pass you if that shot is so effing important. Don't block the whole line and hold everyone else up. Not cool.

2) Don't you hear me honking?
I've noticed this one many times before, but it seemed like it was way worse this time. I know there are some people in wheelchairs that really, actually need to be in wheelchairs. I know there are people who drive those scooters, who unlike George Costanza, really do need them. I have no issue with this. In fact, I have no issue with anyone riding those fuckers around. It looks kinda fun, actually to zip around from ride to ride on one of those things. I'm not here to complain about that. I'm here to complain that those people seem to have forgotten that there are other people trying to get from one place to another. I can recount at least 5 times when either I or the Tofu Muchacha was just walking along, minding our own business, going with the flow of traffic, and suddently we nearly bashed our shins on the back of one of those scooters, whose driver just decided to stop for literally no reason and look around. It was truly insane. The worst part was that after we stopped, regained our balance and stepped around them, they almost always would give these incredibly put-out looks like "How dare you continue walking in the walking area while I mindlessly stop and gaze spacily into the abyss."

1) This ain't Mardi Gras, so quit with the Flashing.
Many of Disney's best rides are called "dark rides". These are rides where visitors ride through on some sort of vehicle through a darkened space and the scenes are specially lit in some manner. They're all over the place. Peter Pan, small world, Snow White, Winnie the Pooh, Haunted Mansion, Pirates, Buzz Lightyear. Those are just the ones in Magic Kingdom. Well... for some dumbass reason, people feel the need to take flash photography on these rides. This is problematic and really fucking retarded. Problematic because it's totally disruptive to just about everyone else on the ride. Usually the dark rides are...you know... dark, so when someone takes a flash photo, it totally fucks with your eyesight. It's completely inconsiderate to the other people who want to enjoy the experience. It's fucking retarded because most of the rides are lit with black light, which is really cool for the purposes of the ride itself, because it allows for even greater darkness and really bright colors, but for flash photography it's... completely pointless. The flash overpowers all of the remaining light, and you end up with the shittiest pictures possible. I hate these people more than anything.

That's enough complaining. Tomorrow, I'll list my Top 3 Meals.

A Triumphant Return... to Picking Football Games

Hello!

I'm getting ready to come out of my great big blogging break with a couple of blogs... One about the Top 5 things about my Disney trip (not including the Tofu Muchacha who would hold all 5 spots), the Top 5 things that drive me crazy while I'm trying to enjoy Disney, and an intro to my NaNoWriMo project.

Until then, though, we're going to have to settle for a football picks blog. Last week, in my absense, I went 8 and 5, and 2 weeks ago I went 8 and 6, so now my record is 71 -32. Still pretty good.

Here we go for this week:

Texans
Bears
Cowboys
Lions
Broncos
Colts
Dolphins
Eagles
Jags
Chargers
Cardinals
Packers
Saints

This week is pretty tough. We'll see how it goes.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Football Picks : Remote

I'm writing this before even last weeks games were finished, but I had to get my picks in.
Needless to say, I don't know how I did last week.

Packers
Chargers
Colts
Steelers
Pats
Texans
Panthers
Jets
Falcons
Bears
Saints
Giants
Eagles

We'll see, I guess.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Clean Break

I feel ya, Cubs fan. I feel ya.

In January of 1989, The Cincinnati Bengals made me cry. This was before I had real reason. They had finished their most glorious season with a heartbreaking loss, but there was truly nothing to cry about. They had promise. A young quarterback with nerves of steel and blonde, flowing locks. A brash running back tandem, one of whom fathered an end-zone dance craze so ridiculous we all should have known it wouldn't last. A defense... well... the defense wasn't spectacular, but man that offense was fun to watch.

We had it good. We had years of prosperity to look forward to at the helm of the S.S. Ickey and Boomer.

I was not even 9 years old, but I bled Orange and Black. They had me.

Then, not even a year later the legend behind the scenes, the great Paul Brown, passed away. Little did we know how devastating a loss it would be.

The next 20 years have been well documented. 2 more winning seasons. 2 more playoff berths. And 18 other seasons of being just about the shittiest team on Earth, and since the idiot son Mike Brown was at the command, things continued to look bleak.

There was a brief time in recent years when things seemed like they may be getting better. Marvin Lewis drafted Carson Palmer. Chad Johnson (that's right) broke out into stardom. It was exciting for a while, but the curse continued. The sole playoff appearance started with a blown knee and went down from there. Nothing close since. Frankly the whole thing has been torture.

Hard to really put the last 20 years into words that do them justice. We've had misfortune and mistakes of all kinds. They drafted great players wisely and fucked them up (somehow) like Dan Wilkinson. They've drafted great players unwisely and things went just how you'd expect (Reinard Wilson and KiJana Carter). They've passed up whole drafts of picks to take Akili Smith.

If I listed every terrible game. Every terrible moment. Every terrible player or pick, I'd be here all day, and frankly my buddy Alan is much more encyclopedic in his knowledge of those stats and facts. I'm a more emotionally driven fan. I'm not rational (see: my hatred of Adam Dunn).

Based on those feelings, and my absolute exhaustion at every gut-wrenching game and play and decision, I made a decision.

I put the Bengals on notice. During last season, I selected a new "favorite" team to follow and cheer along with the Bengals. That team was the New Orleans Saints. I love the way Drew Brees plays. I like Sean Payton. I want to see a downtrodden city like the Big Easy have something good happen to them. I needed a team to root for that wouldn't kick me in the nuts at every possibly opportunity. The Saints haven't exactly been the best team in the world in my lifetime either, but they seem to make good moves. They seem to be at least TRYING to win.

After the season, I gave the Bengals one more season (a one year contract, if you will) to show me something. To make me believe. I made one caveat. "No receivers or running backs in the first round". They took Andre Smith, so they passed the test.

I was willing to do double rooting duty again this year with my Saints and my Bengals and see what happened.

Then the Bengals played the Broncos in the first game of the season, and then this happened:

Is that not the most sickening thing you've ever seen? Well... It was at that moment that I knew the Bengals would never love me the way I loved them. They'd always be the team where the third stringer set the world on fire. They'd always be the team where shit like that happened against them.

Well... I have a choice. Just because I'm from Cincinnati doesn't mean that I have to suffer. I won't do it anymore. I'm divorcing the Bengals.

I know they're 4 and 2. I know that they have a chance this season, but I don't care. If they do well, that's great. I'll be happy for them. I'll never root against them. I'll root for them casually... I'll never cry for them again. I'll never let them ruin another otherwise gorgeous Sunday. It won't happen.

So here I am. A Saints fan in Cincinnati. It's okay. Everything will be okay. Just remember... It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

Monday, October 19, 2009

We Have a Winnah! Disney Trivia Final

At the time of this posting, I'm likely to be enjoying my first sights of Disney on my trip. I'll be at the Magic Kingdom first, so please enjoy this totally amazing video a friend sent to me:



Correct me if I'm wrong, but that shit is amazing. This was a video done by Disney to celebrate the Magic Kingdom's birthday (on October 1st).

The real business of today is to announce the winner of my trivia contest. For each day of my countdown, I tossed out a trivia question. I asked my readers to e-mail me answers if they knew them, and I had a pretty good turnout overall. The final tally will be available on my website on the Contests Page.

I'm proud to announce my cousin, Abbey, as the winner. With 3 days left, she had more points than anyone else could possibly gain based on her number of correct answers.

She has requested a pin with a "Goofy" theme, and it will now be my mission to find this pin. I have no idea if there will be one of those, but you can bet I'll search. She's pictured above as a kid wearing her Goofy Hat and hanging out with the dog himself.

Here are the answers to the 31 Disney Trivia questions I've set forth over the last month.

30 Days: (Magic of Disney)
QUESTION: What was the price of 1 Adult Admission ticket at the time of Walt Disney World's Grand Opening in October 1971.
ANSWER: $3.50. That was only for park admission only. Rides were more.

29 Days: (Music in the Parks)
QUESTION: Why is the height of many buildings inside the parks at Disney World only 199 ft high?
ANSWER: In Florida, any structure 200 ft or higher requires a red light on top for overflying aircraft. Disney avoids this whenever possible due to aesthetic reasons.

28 Days: (Turkey Legs)
Question: Approximately how many of these Giant Turkey Legs are eaten every year at Walt Disney World?
ANSWER: 1.4 Million of those fuckers.

27 Days : (Carousel of Progress)
Question: The Earful Tower, Hollywood Studios water tower landmark wears a Mickey Ears Hat. What's the Hat Size?
ANSWER: 342 3/4ths

26 Days: (Spaceship Earth)
Question: The Fountain at Innoventions Plaza in Epcot can shoot water 150 ft in the air (only 30 feet lower than the top of Spaceship Earth. If all of the water cannons were fired at once, how much water would be in the air?
ANSWER: 2000 Gallons at once!

25 Days: (The Views)
Question: How many stones and bricks were used in the Building of Cinderella's Castle?
ANSWER: NONE. They used almost all fiberglass over concrete framing to simulate the look of concrete.

24 Days: (The Great Movie Ride)
Question: Walt Disney World houses the World's largest sand-bottom pool at 750,000 gallons of water. Where is it, and what is it called?
ANSWER: Stormalong Bay at The Beach Club Resort

23 Days: (Customer Service)
Question: On average, how many pairs of Sunglasses are turned into the Lost and Found every day at Walt Disney World?
ANSWER: 210 Pairs. (I have no idea why they keep this statistic.)

22 Days: (Costumed Characters)
Question: What is the name of the singing, animated parrot over the entrance of Pirates of the Caribbean?
ANSWER: Peglegged Pete

21 Days: (American Idol Experience)
Question: Fantasmic Theater at Hollywood Studios seats how many guests?
ANSWER: 6900 Guests.

20 Days: (Splash Mountain)
Question: How tall is the Summit Plummet Water Slide at Blizzard Beach?
ANSWER: 120 ft, or 12 stories.

19 Days: (Ponchos)
Question: What Magic Kingdom attraction was the first to be run by computer?
ANSWER: Space Mountain

18 Days: (World Showcase)
Question: What is vomit called at Disney World?
ANSWER: Protein Spill

17 Days: (It's Tough to be a Bug)
Question: How many triangles make up the Geodesic sphere that is Spaceship Earth?
ANSWER: 11,324

16 Days: (Celebrity Guests)
Question: Who plays Dr. Grant Seeker on Dinosaur!?
ANSWER: Wallace Langham

15 Days: (Kids Falling Down)
Question: In Spaceship Earth, the character in the "Greek Play" scene is delivering lines from what play?
ANSWER: Oedipus Rex

14 Days: (Big Thunder Mountain)
Question: Name the 5 Mountains of Walt Disney World, and place them in order according to height, tallest to shortest.
ANSWER: Forbidden Mountain (Expedition Everest), Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, Mt. Gushmore, and Splash Mountain

13 Days: (Tomorrowland Transit Authority)
Question: What is the name of the robotic lounge singer in Tomorrowland's Cosmic Rays restaurant?
ANSWER: Sonny Eclipse

12 Days: (Holidays at Disney)
Question: In order to play Sulley from Monsters Inc. in the parks, what is the height range a person must fall within?
ANSWER: 6'2" to 6'4"

11 Days: (it's a small world)
Question: Only one nations name is actually spelled out in "it's a small world". What country is it?
ANSWER: "MEXICO". It's on a sombrero on the right. Seriously.

10 Days: (The Rainforest Cafe)
Question: The gift shop at the exit of Star Tours is currently called ____?
ANSWER: Tatooine Traders

9 Days: (Monsters Inc Laugh Floor)
Question: What is the highest rank you can attain on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin?
ANSWER: Galactic Hero

8 Days: (Mickey's Philharmagic)
Question: What is Donald's Boat in Toontown called?
ANSWER: The Miss Daisy

7 Days: (Expedition Everest)
Question: What is the name of the mountain you're riding on in Expedition Everest?
ANSWER: The Forbidden Mountain

6 Days pt 1: (Kilimanjaro Safari)
Question: Approximately how many branches does the Tree of Life have (I'll accept a round number)
ANSWER: 8000 is the general answer I would have accepted. My cousin Abbey got crazy specific on it though.

6 Days pt 2: (Haunted Mansion)
Question: Who is the voice of the "Ghost Host" in the Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World?
ANSWER: Paul Frees

5 Days: (Journey Into Imagination)
Question: What company has sponsored Journey Into Imagination since it's inception?
ANSWER: Kodak. They've actually sponsored the entire pavilion.

4 Days: (Hidden Mickeys)
Question: What other character's face is viewable by satellite image of Hollywood Studios?
ANSWER: Pluto's face is visible in the courtyard area outside the main entrance.

3 Days: (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Question: Of the 126 Animatronic Figures in Pirates of the Caribbean at Walt Disney World, how many are pirates?
ANSWER: There are 69 Animatronic pirates on the ride.

2 Days: (Pin Trading)
Question: What is the name of the Sea Serpent made of legos in Downtown Disney?
ANSWER: Brickley

1 Day: (Soarin')
Question: How many different scents can you sniff (aside from the ones made by your co-riders) as you ride Soarin' and what are they?
ANSWER: 4. (Orange blossoms, Sagebrush, Ocean, and evergreen)

Thank you all for participating.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

1 Day to Disney: I can see my house from here!

Well folks... We've done it. We've made it to the end of the Disney Countdown, you and me. It's been a crazy ride, has it not?

Not so fast, though... There's still one final Disney thing to talk about before we but this bitch to bed.

It's interesting to me that the top item on the whole shebang this time around is a ride that had just opened right before I wrote the first countdown in 05, and I didn't know a single thing about it. THAT'S how much I've been blown away by Soarin' at Epcot. To make that kind of impression on me in that short amount of time is pretty amazing to me.

I am hesitant to talk too much in specifics about the ride itself, because there's no way to do it justice. It sounds so...regular. I think that's theme of this year's countdown... Disney has mastered making things that sound completely simple and unimpressive become so amazing based on two very specific goals they seek out to attain every time.

1) The difference is in the details. Soarin' is basically a flight simulator. There are simulators all over the place at dozens of amusement parks around the world. Disney has taken this "regular" thing and made it so specific and detailed in every facet, from the entry area to the waiting queue (with Patrick the Flight Attendant) to the scents and breezes you smell and feel as you "Soar". It's simple, but amazingly elegant because of the detail.

2) They execute it perfectly. Aside from the detail of the experience, the efficiency each individual aspect of the ride makes the experience go so smoothly that it sets it apart from any other experience of it's type. The mechanics of the ride vehicle are one of a kind. The movement is crisp and seamless. The loading and operations are hitch-free. If you think you'd get that same level of elegance at Universal or Pidgeon Forge or whatever else then you've not been reading this whole time.

When I first rode Soarin' in 2005 I was blown away. It went by so quickly that I had barely enough time to process it. I rushed back around and rode it again right away. It was mid December, so the crowds were light. Then I got a fast pass and rode it again later that day. It's just beautifully done from start to finish. It's the first ride I want to go on every time I visit Disney.

So... with that, I bring my countdown to an end. This time tomorrow I'll be on a 737-800 flying down to Disney World and an amazing vacation with the Tofu Muchacha, who has had to deal with my insane Disney obsession first hand, and doesn't have the option of simply not reading the blog for a couple of days to take a break.

Thanks for reading along with me. I can't wait to tell you all about the trip next week.

And now... The Last Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Trivia: How many different scents can you sniff (aside from the ones made by your co-riders) as you ride Soarin' and what are they?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Answering Cut-off will be at 9:00 PM tonight, and the Contest Wrap-Up Blog will be posted tomorrow, with the winner announced and all of the answers posted.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

2 Days to Disney: Do you have that in "Villain"?


Way back over Christmas in the year 2000, my family spent the holiday at Disney World. It was an overall fantastic trip. I loved pretty much everything about it. The weather was great. I was feeling good. The parks were amazingly decorated. It was awesome. The only shitty thing was how insanely crowded the whole place was.

Probably the most lasting experience from the trip, however, was my discovery of what would eventually become my one true obsession... Disney Lapel Pins.

I know it's confusing to those people who aren't giant Disney fans, but Disney has created a huge number (like in the tens of thousands) of Enameled Lapel Pins, and those bitches are like crack.

The beauty of them, or the evil, depending on where you're coming from is several-fold:

1) They are inexpensive individually. It seems like you're getting off light when you buy 2 pins. They're 8.95 apiece. Not bad for a Disney souvenir. Of course, due to the aforementioned "cracklikeness" of them, it's hard to buy just one or two or ten or twenty. So... they get their money in the end. Don't you worry.

2) They make them for every park, every attraction, every movie, every character. Everything under the Sun. They have an unlimited field of subject matter from which to cull their nifty little trinkets.

3) Because they are so varied, they can basically appeal to just about anyone. Only like Goofy? That's alright, because there are literally thousands of Goofy Pins out there and available. Not just in the parks, but on eBay and to be traded and everything.

4) They are small and easily ported. On my last trip in February I bought... several. and they basically fit in a small bag that I could put in my backpack. They don't even seem to notice them at security at the airport, which is odd since there's enough pointy little barbs in that bag to give the world tetanus.

You see... I'm a magpie. In my life I've collected several things. Autographed baseballs, antique maps, Disney Snowglobes... These are all pricey and large and difficult to amass discreetly. Take one look at the shelves in my bedroom, and you'll see 18 GIANT-ASS SNOWGLOBES. It's cumbersome to say the least. So the pins appeal to me on many levels.

I have several active Pin quests going usually. I'm always on the lookout for good Captain Hook pins. In fact, this may be a bold statement, but I believe I may have the most extensive Captain Hook pin collection anywhere in the world. I know I have several Hook limited edition pins with very small edition sizes.

I also collect Expedition Everest pins and Figment... And Soarin. And a few others.

I've ranked this so high on my list because Disney basically found a way to cater to my 2 favorite things.... Disney and Obsessive Hoarding. Disney has even been so kind as to place kiosks and full-blown shops selling pins and pins alone about ever 40 feet on property. They require cast members to wear pins, and to trade them (without the luxury of haggling) to anyone who wants to trade. It's the best.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What is the name of the Sea Serpent made of legos in Downtown Disney?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Friday, October 16, 2009

3 Days to Disney: Pirates are Popular

Look familiar you fucking bandwagoners?

I don't know if you've heard of it, but there's actually a movie based on a ride at Disney World.

It's called "Pirates of the Caribbean" and apparently it was quite a popular flick. It even starred well known actors like Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.

I KNOW!! It shocked me too. When I found out about it, I placed it at the very tippy-top of my Netflix queue. Not only that, but in my search, I discovered that there are 2.... TWO!! sequels. Crazy right?

In all seriousness, everyone knows this ride. They probably know what it's all about. They've probably ridden it. It's possibly the most popular ride in all of Disneydom. And let me just say... it makes it hard to be a hardcore fan of this ride, because I was the guy that got every *wink wink* to the ride that appeared in the movie. I was the guy that laughed at the guy in the pig-pen when everyone else in the theater was all "When's Bloom getting back on screen?"

They're all fucking late to the party, and it just makes me irritated that suddenly, because of one movie (an admittedly effing sweet movie) it's everyone's favorite ride.

I will also say that I do really like the additions they made to the rides to incorporate the movie characters. Jack Sparrow is an excellent creation, and one that Walt would have been proud of, so I have no issue with it. I especially like the addition of Davy Jones, whose face appears in the mist as you enter the ride. It's awesome.

I can't really cover new ground here, because everyone knows all about it, so I'll just say that the ride is just as awesome as the movie, and has been since 1973. The animatronics are cool. The storyline is funny. The pirates are waaaaay more risque than almost anything else in all of Disney's realm (especially after they got rid of Alien Encounter).

It's one on of the best things Disney's done to integrate their live-action movies with the parks in years, and it made pirates even cooler than they already were.

Also, it's the ONLY ride I've ever risked missing a plane to ride. On one of my trips, I'd missed riding it because it was pouring rain the day I went to Magic Kingdom and the ride had a 4 hour wait or something like that, because most of the queue is covered. Well... I went back the day of my flight just to ride that one thing. Totally worth it.

Plus... I want to be a pirate.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: Of the 126 Animatronic Figures in Pirates of the Caribbean at Walt Disney World, how many are pirates?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Fooooootball Time

So... last week wasn't the same stellar performance I'd put on the week before, but I still did okay.

9 and 5 and an overall record of 55 - 21. Still not bad at all.

Here we go:
Bengals
Packers
Vikings
Saints
Steelers
Panthers
Redskins
Jags
Seahawks
Eagles
Pats
Jets
Falcons
Broncos

Coming up while I'm gone at Disney World: My Bengals Divorce... Ill timed?

4 Days to Disney: Where's Mickey?

I feel like today's topic, Hidden Mickeys, is something I barely knew about concretely when I did my last Countdown to Disney back in the Fall of 2005. I feel like I recall writing about it, but from a completely theoretical viewpoint, as I'd never been on a Hidden Mickey search, and while I loved the idea of it I'd heard about them between trips and had never experienced them first hand.

Let me briefly explain what a Hidden Mickey is... Basically the imagineers at Disney have made a habit of hiding the image of Mickey Mouse into the backgrounds of rides and walkways and theme parks. It's usually the circular mickey icon (there's one hidden on my blog). The beauty is that these are essentially a signature of the artist. They are not official. They are not cataloged. They are not kept up... They're just there. Some disappear over the years or wear away. I think they're beautiful.

I recall talking about the giant, satellite image view of MGM...how it once was so clearly the face of Mickey and just thinking that was awesome. I still think it's awesome, and honestly with all of the changes and adjustments in the park itself, it has gone from being the greatest Hidden Mickey to being the greatest example of how they're fleeting in some cases. Here's what it looked like 10 years ago, clear as a bell:

Don't get me wrong.. some will be there forever, like this one at the Polynesian:I love this one.

Some of them could go away any day with just the swipe of one careless child, like this one from Mama Melrose's Italian Ristorante in Hollywood Studios:
Some are part of the decor, like this one in Morocco:

And some are more whimsically hidden away, like the viking on the ship with Mickey ears:

Basically, I love them because they're a reward to the people who are paying attention. They're like sharing a secret with the creators (and all of the other people who've bought the books.

Each of those pictures were taken during that 2005 trip. I've got dozens more. I plan on making a concerted effort to take photos of as many as possible on this trip. If I get some cool ones, I'll post about them afterward.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What other character's face is viewable by satellite image of Hollywood Studios?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

5 Days to Disney: A Magical Journey Indeed

I have no idea why, but Figment has also become the mascot of a few Gay Pride Weekends at Disney World. Seriously. (that's true, by the way).


Of all of the ridiculously nostalgic, overly sentimental choices I've made on this blog-down, this one is so far ahead of all of the others, it really should be called "getting Figmented" when I romanticize something to this degree.

Throughout this experience I've come thisclose to putting "Journey into Imagination" up at least 5 times. The reason I haven't is that really... it's kind of a dumb ride. It's slightly better than El Rio del Tiempo (a ride that I've somehow missed discussing entirely, but could easily have dropped in somewhere along the way for exactly the same reason.) The past version of this ride, when it featured the Dreamfinder, primarily, was incredibly popular. The storyline was that the Dreamfinder created this purple dragon (Figment) and they traveled through places where "imagination" was used. This was the the ride that I knew and loved as a kid. In 1998 Disney changed things up, wholly removing Figment from the ride and basically pissing everyone off in the process.

Disney fans are a fairly vocal group, and they've raised ruckuses before. They went NUTS when Mr. Toad closed. This, however, may be the only time the fans were heeded. It took 4 years, but in 2002, Disney brought back Figment and re-incorporated him into the ride. It's not as good as it once was, though it still features a the song by the Sherman Brothers "One Little Spark", which is pretty fantastic. Still...the ride holds a dear place in my heart, and I effing LOVE Figment. He's hilarious.

So basically I went to write about this ride half a dozen times, but it's not that good, and there's not much to say about it, so I kept putting it off... then I realized about 3 or 4 days ago that it's so much a part of my ultimate Disney experience that not only could I not leave it off, but that it deserved a spot in my Top 7.

It's easily the least attended ride on the list (aside from the People Mover and Carousel of Progress.) I don't know if I've EVER waited more than 5 minutes to ride it. This actually adds to the specialness for me, because it's a guaranteed time-killer and air conditioning surge. It's great.

Basically this ride is so special to me for 1 reason...

It was one of the first rides I rode at Epcot and while it seemed a little "kiddie" even then, there was a charm about it. It also so much embodies all of the beauty of Epcot. Or at the time "E.P.C.O.T." It's a ride about innovation, and imagination, and creativity. It's got a catchy tune and a beloved character. It was probably dated the moment it rolled off, but for some reason it's always captured the... ehem... imagination of the audiences. It's not as good as it once was, but I never feel more permitted to be silly than on that ride. I love it.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What company has sponsored Journey Into Imagination since it's inception?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

6 Days to Disney pt 2: The Should Make a Movie


I've had an uncommonly difficult time (for me) coming up with exactly how to write about The Haunted Mansion at Disney World.

The Haunted Mansion is undeniably one of the most iconic and beloved attractions in Disney history. There are versions of it in Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Disneyland Tokyo and was one of the original E-Ticket rides at Walt Disney World.

It's inspired the most in-depth study in minutia in all of my experiences with Disney, DoomBuggies.com, an entire website dedicated to each and every in and out of the Haunted Mansion, both at Disneyland and Disney World. It's an incredible site. The founders of it also have off-shot into doing TellNoTales.com and Mousetalgia.com, but DoomBuggies is the best.

What makes The Haunted Mansion so special? It combines most of the hallmarks of creativity and imagination that Disney is famous for...

The architecture of each individual Haunted Mansion is different, but appropriate for the area in the Magic Kingdom each is located. The original in Disneyland is fashioned like an old plantation house nestled in the New Orleans square "land". The one in Disney World is designed to fit into the colonial New England setting of the surrounding "Liberty Square".

The details of the ride are insane. From beginning to end, it's one of the most immersive experiences in the park. The ride workers are all dressed as serving staff for the mansion. Their demeanors and their dialogue is letter perfect. I have often dreamed about being the employee based in the "loading area" where everyone walks into the room with no doors and the "servant" says "Please go to the dead center of the room." It's funny every time.

One of the strokes of genius in this ride is the loading system. The attendant takes a set number of people at a time into the room where there is a short scene where the room "stretches" in a pretty incredible effect. At the right moment, the secret door opens and people are ushered into the ride loading area with the moving walkway and into the "Doom Buggies", the special ride vehicles designed by Disney Imagineers. It's all timed perfectly so that the line is always moving and the waits never seem long.

The effects on the ride are also great. There are so many, it would be difficult list them, so I'll just refer you again to DoomBuggies.com and just mention a couple...

The busts in the library that turn and follow you. You think this is simple, that they're just on a pivot, until you realize that each person has the same experience and the things can't face each way at once. Turns out they made the busts in relief, so in fact they are concave. This creates the same illusion of depth, but allows it to seem like the faces are turning.

The face of Madam Leota in crystal ball. It's now a hologram, which makes it even cooler, but it's another that is basically a 3D projection.

I could go on all day about The Haunted Mansion... The music "Grim Grinning Ghosts" features the voice of Thurl Ravencroft, who also famously voiced Tony the Tiger. The dancing ghosts scene in the ball room is great (and done in reflection). It's funny, and a little (tiny) bit scary, and really really cool. The wait is rarely long because of the loading system, and it's a legend. There's really nothing more to say. It's among the first things I think about when I think about Disney World. Can't miss it. Usually ride at least twice.

And now... The (2nd) Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: Who is the voice of the "Ghost Host" in the Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

6 Days to Disney pt. 1: Goin on Safari


I don't see how I'd ever be able to write a blog about the best things at Disney and not talk at least a little about the single largest attraction in all of The World..

Animal Kingdom's Kilimanjaro Safari.

Before Expedition Everest gave Animal Kingdom a true thrill ride that would appeal to teens, Animal Kindom had very little to draw the masses. It was mostly a park full of simpler wonders, and simpler attractions like It's Tough to be a Bug and the better-than-I-expected "Flights of Wonder" show. In fact, there were really only 2 A-Level attractions, Countdown to Extinction (now called Dinosaur! after the movie came out in 2000) and Kilimanjaro Safari.

I've always felt that the Safari was one of the most amazing attractions I've ever experienced. It's the only thing at Disney that's so cool on it's own merits that the theming and the storyline almost detract.

The premise is that you've transported yourself (by way of a looooonnnngg queue line) to Africa and you're making your way across the Serengeti on a Safari. This is the most amazing part. The attraction area is over 100 acres all on it's own. To give you an idea of scale, the Cincinnati Zoo is 67 Acres. The Magic Kingdom would fit completely inside the grounds. The attraction is full of animals given a huge amount of land to roam, seemingly free. There are barriers... you know.. to keep the lions away from the zebras, but you can't see them. The ride vehicles are re-claimed buses, outfitted like safari trucks, driven (free reined) by guides. The trucks can stop, speed up, go around (to a small degree) depending on what the animals are doing.

Some would say this is essentially just a souped up, Africa-centric zoo. And that's probably the case, except that people from places like Cincinnati are jaded against other zoos, because ours is so good. It may be a zoo, but it's a GREAT zoo. You see animals doing things that they normally don't in zoos...things they can only do because the area they have here is so large. To quote Walt from his iconic TV show announcing plans to build Disney World:

"Here in Florida, we have something special we never enjoyed at Disneyland... the blessing of size. There's enough land here to hold all the ideas and plans that we can possibly imagine."

That's the thing that makes Kilimanjaro Safari so special. Of the parks, Animal Kingdom has most taken advantage of the expanse of land. The Safari most of all the attractions. It's a beautiful, exciting display of nature, and is the best example of one of the founding goals of Disney World.

The only thing I'd change about the ride, and I've said this multiple times, is that I'd remove the silly "Little Red" storyline. I think there was some concern at the beginning that audiences wouldn't enjoy just a simple zoo/safari attraction without the Disneyfied storyline, and they had just turned out to be wrong (which is rare). The premise is that there are poachers in the protected safari land, and they've captured Little Red, the baby elephant. We somehow save Little Red over the course of the ride, but it's silly and unnecessary. I'd remove it altogether, and they have definitely cut back on it's emphasis over the years, but even a little is too much on an otherwise perfect attraction.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: Approximately how many branches does the Tree of Life have (I'll accept a round number)?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Monday, October 12, 2009

6 Days & 7 Blogs

In my "6 Days to Disney" blog coming up later today I've been forced to make a very tough decision.

You see... I've got 6 more Disney Blogs to write, and I have 7 topics. Not only that, but I've sort of painted myself into a corner, because I've built up this "Top 5" thing and now I've got 7 more things I want to discuss and 6 more days. I'm a little crazy, apparently, because I'm going to feel genuinely sorry about leaving out the 7th thing. So I've come to a decision... I'm going to blog about all 7, and they're not going to be ordered.

Looking back, I've already written about a bunch of things that I could have placed in my top 5. It was just asking too much of myself to take all of the thousands of things I love, or have loved about Walt Disney World, the non-person thing I've loved most in my life, and take them and actually rank them in some sort of un-scientific way.

Now... I think that, given a set of Disney things, I could actually rank them in order (if also given categories), but I didn't do that... Too late for that. So anyway, I'm going to give you my Final 7 items.

The Haunted Mansion
Pirates of the Caribbean
Hidden Mickeys
Pin Trading
Kilimanjaro Safari
Soarin'
Journey into the Imagination

My god... A daunting list. Exactly why I've decided to go this route. How can I possibly pare down such a group? I can't. You're looking at perhaps the heart and soul of the Disney Experience for me.


So anyway... 2 more for tomorrow, and then one more a day through Sunday to complete my quest....and then...on to Disney World.

Oh..one final thing... I went to the Ohio Renaissance Faire yesterday and had me a Giant-ass Turkey Leg. I did this only for the purposes of a post following the trip wherein I compare and contrast the Turkey of Renaissance-era Ohio and that of Walt Disney World, circa 2009. Here's a sneak peak:

7 Days to Disney: Ain't No Mountain High Enough


I've mentioned several times how big of a pansy I am.

It takes a pretty effing sweet roller coaster, and likely the Disney tag attached to get me to ride anything more intense than something like Big Thunder... Well, there are 2 roller coasters that actual roller coaster people seem to like that I also like and am not terrified to ride.

One of them is the Rock n' Roller Coaster at the Studios. The other makes it on to the countdown here, a week before the trip.

Expedition Everest.

That fucking ride is spectacular. I'll admit that it terrifies me every time, but it doesn't matter. Last time I was there it was the only ride at The Animal Kingdom I rode twice (that single rider line is effing fantastic.) I like every facet of it. Lemme break it down for ya.

The Theme: I mean... they spared no expense at all. It's pretty incredible down to every tiny detail. There's a courtyard in the queue area that looks JUST like a Buddhist shrine. There are those coins and the statues and all kinds of crazy things. Emmm... Not that Buddhism is crazy... moving on. The visual magnitude of the ride is incredible. The mountain is amazing looking. The ride cars are cool. The music is neat. I love it. They won me over. Getting a self-professed Roller Coaster Pussy to throw caution to the wind just out of the curiosity of seeing what all they did with the theme...that's tough to do.

The Technology: The Yeti, I believe, is still the largest and most advanced animatronic figure in the world. That's pretty much all I need to say. But also the ride seamlessly goes both backward and forward. There are sweet projections. It's amazing.

The Ride Itself: The ride itself is incredibly smooth and fun. The hill is the only thing that really psyches me out about coasters, but they really mask the intimidatingness by adding those themed elements. The big drop comes out of nowhere and isn't really projected beforehand, so there's no time to get worked up. It's awesome.

There's nothing else for me to say. If i actually liked coasters, this is easily in my Top 5, but it's not, because I don't. Can you tell?

Oh... small side note... You're not actually on Mt. Everest on the ride, despite the name and the misconception... See the trivia question for more details.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What is the name of the mountain you're riding on in Expedition Everest?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

8 Days to Disney: Makes me all emotional. Like a baby kitten.


So, I think we've probably got it pretty well established that I am an emotional mess when it comes to some thing Disney related. I like to cry a little. I like going to Disney and tapping in to every weird little nostalgic tidbit I can.

I've realized that so much of why I'm so in love with that place, is that I love to revisit past great times just as much as I love to experience new great times. Well... if there's a single attraction in all of the parks that, for whatever reason, gets me more than almost any other is Mickey's Philharmagic.

Much like the Monsters Inc thing from yesterday, the concept of this attraction is pretty simple.

We're in a giant concert hall, there for a symphony concert conducted by Mickey Mouse and his enchanted instruments. Donald Duck steals Mickey's sorcerer hat and the instruments revolt and hide in all of these past Disney animated films. Oh...and it's in 3-D.

The thing that makes it amazing is the execution. It's easily the best 3-D I've ever seen, in terms of the huge number of layers and the details. It's fantastic. They also incorporate Donald and the instruments into the famous scenes from these movies seamlessly. He's on the Magic Carpet with Aladdin and Jasmine in "A Whole New World". He flies around Big Ben with the kids in Peter Pan. He enjoys Belle's feast in Beauty and the Beast. It's truly a beautifully executed film. The music is moving. It has a great, simple storyline that is crammed into about a 10 minute thing. It's funny, heartfelt, and the music is incredible and familiar.

When I went back to Disney for the first time in almost 5 years in January of 2005 and I experienced this for the first time, I think I said how incredible I thought it was. I've now seen it 5 more times or so, and without question it's one of the best things at The Magic Kingdom.

The only negative thing I can say about it is that while I've never really waited more than 10 minutes for it (fast pass is our friend, people, never forget it) the queue line is a little stuffy for my taste. As in the ventilation always seems a little bad. The wait seems longer than it is. There's not much to look at.

That's a very minor quibble in what is otherwise an A+ attraction. Something that every kid will love. Something that inspires the most nostalgic feelings of my youth in me.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What is Donald's Boat in Toontown called?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

9 Days to Disney: Everybody has a Laughing Place


These days, in this time of economic tightwaddedness (that's a real word, I swear), even Disney World has been hit. In the last few years, Disney hasn't really added a ton of big attractions at the parks. Part of it has to do with a lack of space within the already existing parks, but even moreso it has to do with the development costs of a ride like Expedition Everest. There just isn't going to be enough of an influx of new visitors with the way the economy is to justify the expense.

This is not to say that Disney has been complacent. They've added a bunch of new smaller attractions. D-Ticket attractions, if you will. Among them you've got one of my new favorites.

The Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor.

I'd actually place it higher on my list, considering how much I enjoyed it the one time I experienced it, but I don't know how well it'll stand up over the course of repeated visits, so I'm keeping it out of the top 5.

The concept is pretty simple. Monsters no longer scare people for energy, they make them laugh, so they've brought us humans to the factory for their daily stand-up show to collect our laughs for their power plant.

The execution of this is what totally makes this thing something amazing. I have NO idea of how they do most of it, and it makes the whole thing far more fascinating to me than it probably would be otherwise.

First, it's all on these super high-def screens with the animated characters. The amazing thing is that they have the animated characters interacting deeply with the audience. I don't find it amazing that the characters themselves interact, because that's easily explained, but the animation also corresponds to the interaction, totally seemlessly.

It's really, really cool, and I am definitely going to be check this out again to see how different thing thing is from show to show. I'm sure there are a lot of things that are repetitive, but I don't know how they'd do some of it without some really cool special effect technology.

It impresses me is what I'm saying. I'm hoping that it re-captures the magic of my first experience, because I've built it up pretty high in my head, and it made me laugh a whole lot.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What is the highest rank you can attain on Buzz Lightyears Space Ranger Spin?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

NOTE: The title of this post is from Song of the South, the Disney film that inspired Splash Mountain

Friday, October 9, 2009

10 Days to Disney: Conservation at its Finest

(NOTE: This picture has very little to do with today's topic, but I'd looked for it 2 weeks ago when I wrote about the Turkey Legs and wasn't able to find it. I labeled it "Guido Turkey Legs" in my files. Just felt like now was as good a time as any to post it.)

Oh. My. God. I'm into the final 10 days. The excitement is almost too much to bear at this point.

I've gone to Disney by myself 3 times.

I know that sounds kind of pathetic, but I just wanted to go real bad, and I didn't want to coordinate with anyone else.

Anyway... the only thing that sucks about going alone is eating alone. It's not that I am embarrassed or anything, but damn is it boring. I think I almost memorized the hidden mickey's book the last time I went.

My favorite place to go to eat when I go alone is also one of my favorite places with other people. It's easily my favorite chain restaurant in all the world... It's The Rainforest Cafe.

There are 3 reasons I love it so much, especially when I go alone.

1) The atmosphere is lively and entertaining, which isn't always what I look for in my restaurants, but it keeps things interesting when you don't have conversation to rely upon.

2) It's one of the few restaurants in WDW that has a bar with a TV. Usually tuned to sports programming. In fact, I distinctly recall watching the Steelers vs. Jets Overtime playoff game from one of those fancy bar stools at The Downtown Disney location.

3) The food is better than most other chain places, and it's expensive but not insanely priced.

I think a good bit of my love of The Rainforest Cafe has to do with my nostalgia of Vacations Past as well... I remember going to The Rainforest twice in the Summer of 1998 and having Dee Anne and I discover the joys of the China Island Chicken Salad, which I maintain is the best big salad dish I've ever eaten.

I'll admit that the Rainforest loses points with me on my countdown for 2 reasons...

1) It's not unique to Disney. There are about 15 locations, nation-wide. I've been to the one in Chicago and Las Vegas. My cousin Abbey has been to the one in San Antonio. I hate to say it, but a chain, no matter how good it is, is still a chain.

2) After my surgery, I've struggled a bit to find things that I can comfortably eat. Most of the items are just too big to finish, and as many of you who know me know... I don't like leftovers in the comfort of my own home. I definitely don't like them during vacation. Just seems like a waste.

Still... I'll always be grateful to The Rainforest Cafe for keeping me company and providing me yummy delights during what would have otherwise been lonely, boring meals.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: The gift shop at the exit of Star Tours is currently called ____?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Football Time

Man... I know that I'm heading for quite the fall to Earth here at some point, but apparently not yet since last week in my NFL Picks I continued to roll right along. This time I went 13-1... That's right. 13

and

1.

Pretty impressive...gotta admit.

My overall record is now 46 and 16.

Here we go...

Bills
Cowboys
Vikings
Giants
Eagles
Steelers
Panthers
Ravens
Niners
Jags
Cardinals
Pats
Colts
Dolphins

I'm likely wrong on half of these.

11 Days to Disney: All Work and No Play...

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!


I knew from the very beginning of this blogging journey that I'd eventually come to the one day where I could no longer avoid discussing what is perhaps the most polarizing thing in all of The Disney Kingdom. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people, like me, like they are perpetually teetering in between.

It's definitely one of my favorite things about Disney, which is why it appears on this countdown, but paradoxically, it would almost certainly appear on a countdown of my least favorite things as well...

I'm talking, of course, about It's a Small World.

Saying the name alone stirs such strong feelings deep within me.

On the one hand, it's a true classic. Created for the 1964 Worlds Fair, it was one of Walt's final lasting contributions. It features an artistic design by one of the Disney company's most legendary talents, Mary Blair. It features a song so fucking catchy that EVERYONE knows it, written by the most prolific song writing duo in the company's history, the Sherman brothers.

Dee Anne? Loves it. So much, in fact, that I bought her an "It's a Small World" snow globe for Christmas one year and it still prominently displays in the dining room of their house. I would even venture to say that were she to get a tattoo, it would be in the Mary Blair style.

These are some of the reasons I'm torn.. I mean... I get how big of a mark it's left on the Disney Landscape. I get how big a mark it's left in the hearts of sooooo, soooo many. It's also 13 minutes of air-conditioned bliss on the hottest of Summer days.

All that said... It's pure evil. Simple as that. If you're not at least a little creeped out by the strange, happy dolls, you're not paying attention. If you're not chilled to the bone when your boat lurches to a stop and that song keeps playing and playing and playing and playing, and those dolls keep rocking and rocking and rocking and rocking... I'm worried for you.

I once was stuck on the ride for 15 solid minutes, in the final room (the death chamber, if you will) where all of the "children of the world" put on their ceremonial white garments and suddenly the garbled, melting pot of lyrics blends together into a terrifying cacophony of shrill, religious chanting. It was easily in the top 5 most upsetting experiences of my life. This occurred on my trip in December of 05, when I went by myself. I remember sitting there, thinking that at any moment my life would end, and the last thing I'd see would be one of those awful smiling doll faces grin its sickening grin as one of it's cronies began to eat my innards. I am currently working on a short story inspired by this experience.

I've often theorized that Disney doesn't punish their employees in the traditional manners, by docking their pay or cutting their hours. No no... I believe that in exchange for your bad behavior, you get placed for a full shift in the control tower of "It's a Small World" where you have to waive like the bibbling idiot you're becoming, essentially creating your own reality. I spent 25 minutes on the ride once, and I was certain that I would soon stab myself in the leg just to break up the monotony of the song repeating over and over. I can't imagine it for an entire 8 hour shift.

All I can say is that... It's an icon, and it's too memorable to keep off this list. I'm just not sure I love it (for it's history) or hate it (as you're supposed to hate pure, unadulterated evil.)

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: Only one nations name is actually spelled out in "it's a small world". What country is it?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Quick Baseball Picks

Man... 3 blogs in a day. I'm Cuh-razy.

Just a quick one to get my baseball playoff picks on record (you know... to be mocked accordingly).

National League:

Philles Vs. Rockies
PICK: Phillies in 4. I like the Phillies a lot, and in a short series their pitching is just too strong. I'm not going to count out the Rockies, who have officially made the playoffs 3 times more than the Reds since they came into existence, but I think the Phillies are to tough.

Cardinals Vs. Dodgers
PICK: Dodgers in 5. The Cardinals are probably the better team, and neither was exactly tearing it up down the stretch, but Manny still makes a difference, and the Dodgers have the home field advantage.

Phillies Vs. Dodgers
PICK: Phillies in 7. I think this series has great potential, but really this is just a guess on my part. The Phillies have the parts and the experience. The Dodgers have Manny and an absolutely murderous bullpen.

American League

Yankees vs. Twins
PICK: Yankees in 3. Hate to say it, but I saw the head to heads for this season. A Twins in will be their first against the Yankees this season, and without Morneau (even though they're now 17-4 since he went down) I don't see the Twins making it that close.

Red Sox vs. Angels
PICK: Angels in 5. The Sox weren't exactly inspiring down the stretch. The Angels have the whole "We have something to play for" angle.

Yankees vs. Angels
PICK: Yankees in 6. The Angels put up a good fight, but with the deciding games being played in the Bronx... Looks like A-Rod makes his first World Series.

World Series:

Yankees vs. Phillies
PICK: Phillies in 6. A potentially great series, but I have to believe that the Baseball Gods hate A-Rod just enough to keep a ring off his finger. This is my only analysis.

Lemony Odds, Firey Ends, and People Flipping the Bird

Hey Folks-

I've been so bogged down with all of the Disney blogging that I've sort of neglected all of the other goings-on in my life... so let me catch you up.

1) Last Monday (the 28th), I was invited to "break the fast" at my a family member's home. This is essentially the celebration of the end of Yom Kippur, which entails a ton of fasting and atonement and general teeth gnashing of all kinds. Yom Kippur is the most solemn, serious time of the year for Jews, and breaking the fast is like a great big sigh of relief that it's over.

For this occasion, I was asked to furnish a dessert, which is fortuitous considering all of the baking I've been doing lately. The best part is that they didn't even know about any of that.

Anyway, I'd been wanting to bake a cake for a while... something about decorating a cake seems very meditative for me. I don't know why. I decided on baking a Lemon Cake with Lemon Cream Cheese frosting and raspberries.

I was admittedly a little cranky while baking this, as I was in a bit of a rush for part of the day, having to drive up to Dayton during the actual baking process (a huge thanks goes to the Tofu Muchacha for wrangling the piping hot baked goods while I was gone) and then rushing to get it iced upon my return. Due to those factors, I didn't take my usual string of pictures, but I did manage to get one of the finished cake:
Not bad, I guess. The cakes had sort of a convex shape and when I flipped the top layer over in order to provide a flat surface to ice on top, it created a sort of hour-glass shape. It ended up requiring a ton of frosting to fill the big gaps in the middle, and it was tasty but kind of bulbous. In the future I'll definitely plane the rounded tops down to flatten it out a bit more. Not bad for a first trip though. The cake itself was also a bit dry, which I would have known if I'd read the recipe reviews. I want to make a really dense cake, but have it be moist. Anyone have suggestions or recipes?

2) This one can be filed away in the "Tofu Muchacha is Always Right" bin.

Monday, she and I went canoeing. I hadn't been in some time, and while I was a little nervous that it would be too cold to be in a little boat on a river, the weather was freaking gorgeous... so it was quite pleasant. I was also a little nervous that we'd tip over at some point, but we didn't. We did get wedged into some rocks at one point in the middle of some rapids (as rapid as they really could be...) and we had to get out and pull the canoe free slightly. The water was frigid, but that was no real hardship.

The biggest issue was the Sun.

Being a whitey white boy of Euro-Pasty heritage, I am no stranger to the dangers of the Sun. I've had more burns in my life than a That 70s Show marathon. The worst probably being on my bald, bald head that I got on a drive from Cincinnati to Hilton Head in a convertible. I should have known that the cool breeze wouldn't have protected me from the Suns evil rays, but I didn't, and I was thusly punished.

On this particular field trip down the river, I took precautions. I sprayed my head and neck and arms and face with that sports sunscreen, and thought I was good to go. When we got in the canoe, the Tofu Muchacha took one look at me in my sweatshirt and shorts and said "You wanna get your knees too?" and I was all... "Nah! I'm good."

Four hours and thirteen miles later and down river I started feeling like my knees were a little hot. ON the car ride back to town I had the AC blowing on them directly. By bed time, I couldn't sleep on my stomach because the contact with the mattress made me cry. By last night I couldn't sleep at all. It's like the constant creasing and walking and standing has been perceived as taunting the sunburn gods or something. It's really, really painful.

So let me just say in front of all of my thousands of readers... You were right T.M. You were right.

Now I just need to find me some fucking aloe.

3)Now it's time for a little venting....

What the fuck is the world coming to? Have people gone even more crazy than they already have been? I've had a couple of the most insane experiences on the road in the last couple of weeks, and I seriously don't get it. Let me lay it out for you....

Experience # 1: I was driving into downtown from the North and I had to get over twice in order to make my exit. It was crowded, but I had plenty of time. I signaled and started making my way over, and this gold car sped up to try to prevent me from getting in. Just to be clear, I wasn't pushing them out. There was plenty of room if everyone just maintained speed. But no... she sped up to try to cut me off. She failed, but sort of did that weaving thing that people do in auto races when they're drafting. Anyway, she got over again and I had to get over as well...so I signaled. And again, if she just maintained her speed we'd all be in the lanes we needed to be and everyone would be happy. This time, though, she sped up even more aggressively and she actually cut me off, preventing me from getting over. I ended up slowing down to let her pass completely (since she matched my speed initially after pulling up along side of me. Once I slowed down, she cut completely across my lane, and we actually crossed. So now I'm in the lane to her right and we come to the stop light at the exit. She actually stops 5 car lengths shy of the car in front of her so that we're stopped even at the exit. She rolls down her window and starts sreaming at me that I cut her off twice!

I would have tried to logic her up, but my pimp-hand was stayed by the Tofu Muchacha being in the car and reminding me that trying to logic-up a stone is a pointless task. In any case, it totally blows my mind that a person who was putting US in danger 2 times was so appalled that I would try to...you know... drive safely.

Experience # 2: This one happened on Monday. I was minding my own business on highway, and a dude on my left side cuts directly in front of me without signaling and then slows down. I sort of give him the "what the hell, dude?" hand signal, but didn't honk, and went on my way. I changed lanes to the left, and ended up directly on his left...I look over to see what the crazy person looks like and he's FLIPPING ME THE BIRD. Like... before he even knew I was looking over, his hand was up in the bird position. I couldn't believe it.

Another person who acted crazy and dangerous on the road, and then ATTACKED ME for you know... looking at them.

Tell me... What's happening in the world where these crazies have been released from the asylum and are roaming Cincinnati in shitty, late 90s automobiles?

12 Days to Disney: It's That Time of Year


There are 12 Days left of this Epic Blog Countdown. When I wrote "12 Days to Disney" the first thing I thought of was the Twelve Days of Christmas song that makes people insane every year, but then I thought to myself:

"Hey... Holidays at Disney World are AWESOME! I should write a blog about that!"

So here I am.

I'm not an overly religious person (or a religious person at all for that matter), but even I get into the holiday spirit from time to time, and I'll readily admit that it's difficult to ignore how beautiful the whole experience is when Disney does it.

They really go all out... There are trees in every park (non-denominational, of course) and buntings and lights everywhere. Things are "Winterized" and it's just super pretty. There's the Osborne Family (no... not THAT Osborne family) Holiday light display, which was basically inspired by some crazy dude in Arkansas decking his house with so many lights that it was visible from space or something.

The Grand Floridian has a giant gingerbread house. Most of the hotels have holiday themed decor set-up.

The characters are all dressed like Dickens characters. It's totally awesome.

Even the opening show is all Holidayed up... There's the opening show at Magic Kingdom with the train and Mickey welcoming all of the guests, and there are giant snowflakes and whatever else.

The last time I was there Mickey shouted "Happy Holidays Everybody!" and some crazy person shouted back "You mean Merry Christmas!!" and I swear Mickey nearly backhanded him....

That's a pet peeve of mine, by the way...the whole "They're stealing the holidays from Jesus" bullshit. For another blog.

In any case, I'm all for getting into the Non-denominational Holiday spirit, and nobody does it better, or prettier than Disney.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: In order to play Sulley from Monsters Inc. in the parks, what is the height range a person must fall within?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

13 Days to Disney: Paging Mr. Morrow. Mr. Tom Morrow


My step-mom, Dee Anne, is a big reason why I loved Disney right from the start. Like I was back then, she's not really a ride rider. She's always content to check out the Coca Cola Club Cool or Innoventions. She'd rather (100 times out of 100) enjoy the Carousel of Progress as opposed to going on Space Mountain. You get the picture...

Well, as a kid, I'd often opt to keep her company going into and out of the shops in the Studios instead of going on Tower of Terror. I would hang out with her and go on Spaceship Earth (about her speed) as opposed to Test Track. I love Test Track and Space Mountain, but I don't NEED to ride them, and it's fun to keep her company.

In a way, the enjoyment she'd get out of these slower paced things (and even things like grabbing some old timey popping corn and people watching) made me really notice a lot of the things about Disney that I've come to love the most. The details. The music. You get the idea.

Well, my favorite time spender with Dee Anne is riding the T.T.A. (The Tomorrowland Transit Authority)...affectionately known as The People Mover. It's just this silly little train type thing that glides through Tomorrowland on a magnetic track and sneaks through different attractions and is, most importantly cool and breezy. Topping out at about 5 miles per hour, it's just the right speed for enjoying some Diet Coke and killing time while waiting for the braver people in the party to finish riding Space Mountain.

I remember on the last family trip there in June of 06, Dee Anne didn't want to ride Space Mountain (as if that had even been a possibility), and I'd just ridden it the last time I was there in December of 05 (like I said... the hour long wait usually dissuades me from riding it on every trip). So she and I decided to go on the Carousel of Progress, with it's usual 5 minute wait. Once that was done, Dad and Briana still had 40 minutes to go, and the storm clouds were rolling in, so Dee Anne and I quickly darted over to the People Mover and rode while it POURED down rain. It was one of those Floridian downpours you always experience. They pop-up out of nowhere and disappear as quickly. Well... this one took exactly 3 rides on the People Mover. It was a great time.

Oh...and if you love views, the People Mover has some of the best of Cinderella's Castle in the whole park.

There are a lot of little things that many people will ignore or skip so they can ride the big E-Ticket attractions, but going with Dee Anne has illustrated better than any guide book the beauty of the little rides. The C-Ticket attractions.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: What is the name of the robotic lounge singer in Tomorrowland's Cosmic Rays restaurant?

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.

Monday, October 5, 2009

14 Days to Disney: The Thunder Rolls


I've stated a few times that I'm no fan of roller coasters. That was doubly true when I was a youth. Nowadays I'll at least go on rides like Expedition Everest and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster. I'm nowhere near as squeamish as I once was.

That's one of the reasons I've always loved Disney... Even the coasters were coasters that I could ride. (When I first started going there was no Everest or Aerosmith). The most intense roller coaster at Disney was probably Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and for some reason that I couldn't explain then, and really can't even explain now... I loved it.

I mean... I know why I love it in a completely objective sense. It's a fun roller coaster. It's fast. It tosses you around a bit. It's got great theming (like all Disney rides, really).

I guess the thing that lets Big Thunder stand apart, if I had to put my finger on something, is that because it's Disney I had an inate trust that it wouldn't be too much for me. There's nothing sinister about Walt Disney World, and for a kid who was often scared of his own shadow (I always prefer to consider myself to have been "gentle-souled", but I was a bit of a pansy... I'll be honest) , there was something wonderful about going to a place where I KNEW that nothing would be too much for me. Nothing was designed with the intent to scare. Maybe to thrill. Maybe to exhilarate, but not terrify. Even the Tower of Terror, which is still the one ride at Disney that makes me feel vaguely icky is a ride that I've ridden and not been terrified on.

The ride that most exemplifies this feeling of thrilling safety, for me, may always be Big Thunder Mountain. Maybe even secretly it's the ride that took Disney over the top for me from being a fun place to go, but like King's Island in that it's fun, but only partially not a waste for me, to being a place where I wanted to go all of the time. A place where I could negotiate every corner.

I do love me some Big Thunder.

Plus, it is, for some odd reason the attraction I most saw myself working. No idea why.

And now... The Disney Trivia Question of the Day

Question: Name the 5 Mountains of Walt Disney World, and place them in order according to height, tallest to shortest.

If you think you know, please send an e-mail to blog@beefymuchacho.com

Everyone with the correct answer will receive a point. An incorrect answer gets 1/2 a point. The person with the most points will get a Limted Edition Pin purchased during my stay.

Standings are being updated daily at http://www.beefymuchacho.com/ on the "Contests" page.

I'll repost the questions with the answers at the end of the contest.