Sunday, August 24, 2008

If I Had a Billion Dollars

Hey Folks-

I had a dream the other night where I found a Genie, and it granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was infinite wealth. Why did I choose that over anything else, like... World Peace, Immortality, a killer bod. Well....essentially, I think I could use my other 2 wishes for those things, and also... I think my infinite wealth would cover a lot of bases.

So, in the spirit of my dream, and to take a long-lost blog post a step farther, I give you...

First, some rules:
1) I can't ever run out of money, so there's no such thing as being irresponsible.
2) For the purposes of this game, my money doesn't effect the world's financial balance in any way. For example were I to purchase all of the gold in Serbia from the Serbian government at 150% retail, that wouldn't immediately make Serbia a super-power.
3) Assume that I've already helped out the parents and siblings and friends with their needs.

And now...

5 Things Dan Would Do with Infinite Wealth.

1) Buy an NFL Team. Yeah... I would totally buy an NFL team. First, I should mention that this is what I did in my dream, so even if it's not totally in my top 5, I guess subconciously it is. There are a lot of reasons I'd do this. a) The "team of choice" are a fucking horrendous nightmare, and I feel that this is directly related to the idiot owner (Mike Brown). Yes.. I think I could be a better owner. b) I don't LOVE Mark Cuban in general, but I do kinda envy his lifestyle, and I love that he just got really rich and immediately bought himself a franchise, like it was Fantasy Basketball or something. Now he hangs out with rock stars and athletes and he seems like he has fun all the time. I couldn't deal with the basketball players...they kinda drive nuts. Baseball players are boring. I think football is the perfect sport in which to own a team. So...there's another addition to this one.. I wouldn't want to run the team. I would want to be involved on a semi-day to day basis, but I think that my buddy Alan could be a better GM than almost anyone in the league now, so instead of paying off his house directly, I'd hire him as General Manager of our team. Give him 3 years and we're a contender. I guarantee that. That would be awesome.

2) I'd donate a full scale, fully equipped theater facility to Thomas More College (my Alma Mater). I have reasons for this too...and conditions. a) I really think that the long-time head of the drama department at TMC deserves more than to see his program stagnate and die. He's a living legend, as far as I'm concerned. b) The department is fading, and I think that's mostly because there's not a lot of public attention on it. People don't even know it's there. A new state-of-the-art facility would solve that issue. c) They really need a new space. Versatile. d) I fully believe in giving back to the places that affected you and your life in a positive way. TMC Drama did that for me. Now...the condition? I'd get to be managing artistic director. For life. I'd want to see that my donation was being used wisely. I'd want to see a great effort in attracting local theater prospects. I don't want it to compete with CCM or NKU exactly... I think a BA is still valuable. But they need a larger group. A group that is less a club and more a department.

3) I'd purchase an Island. On this island, I'd build a giant home. Much like my Billionaire Role Model, Richard Branson. I don't have much to say about this, because I think it's pretty self explanatory. Actually..this item involves the purchase of several properties around the world. I'd have my island paradise. NOT Orlando (see item #4). I'd have a condo in Vegas (though there IS something to be said about staying in those crazy suites... I'd have a home in Cincinnati. That's probably it. I like the idea of having homes.

4) Disney World for LIFE. I'd call up Steve Jobs (CEO of Disney) and I'd ask him what I needed to do to get a lifetime pass to Disney World (with Golden Fast Pass) and a permanent suite just for me at whatever resort I wanted to stay in at that time. A million dollars? A billion? Does it matter? Nope. I'd pay them a million a year forever. I just want unlimited access to the parks for the rest of my life. I think that I've said enough.

5) I'd buy a ranch and a herd of horses. Probably in Wyoming or Colorado. It'd be open to guests. My cousin Abbey would run that portion for me, and she could live there. I'd have my own part of the property there too, but for the most part, it'd just be a really cool, beautiful place to visit that would make my cousin happy. I've always been drawn to the idea of being able to go somewhere peaceful and beautiful and clean and somewhat secluded. I think that with all of my responsibilities with all of my money, a place like that would be important.

So...there it is..what would YOU do?

1 comment:

Dre said...

This is a fun question! I think I'm going to blog my reply (I forsee it becoming rather lengthy) so you will have to check it out there.